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This Post is for MrsSmithNMHS. I need a persuasive research…

This Post is for: MrsSmithNMHS. I...
This Post is for: MrsSmithNMHS.

I need a persuasive research paper in 2,000 to 2,500 words, formatted APA guidelines.
Including:
Title page
Introduction and thesis statement
Body with supporting evidence and in-text citations
Effective visuals, appropriately in troduced
Conclusion
Reference list with at least five to seven sources, at least three of which must come from the University Library
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Answered in 15 hours by:
7/5/2010
KitKat1010
KitKat1010, Master's Degree
Category: Writing Homework
Satisfied Customers: 315
Experience: English teacher with 10+ years experience.
Verified

Hi there-- is this the one you need the final draft for?

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Customer reply replied 8 years ago
yes. I will send you everything i have and you can put it together for me if that is okay. I have some pictures of methamphetamine users that we can input in there somewhere. let me know what you think. thn x :)

Perfect. Did you have any feedback from your instructor regarding the rough draft? Thanks!

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Customer reply replied 8 years ago

Not yet, this is the only thing that i got:

 

your rough draft is on an approved topic and it meets the length requirements for the assignment. Your content is accurate and persuasive and your central theme is directed towards the correct audience. Your major points are supported in a logical fashion by strong details. I thought your introduction provided a nice preview for the rest of the paper. Your conclusion then formed a good summary of your major points. I thought you did a nice job with the transitions in your rough draft. You did some very nice work with the APA formatting aspects of the assignment, including your in text citations. I thought your use of visuals and spacing was very effective. Very nice work on this assignment!

 

This sounds very generic and like it was sent to everyone that turned in the rough draft because i did not insert any visuals yet. hehehe. Hope I get something esle by tomorrow.

Customer reply replied 8 years ago

Hello, I am trying to send you some graphs and illustration pictures to be included in the final paper but im not sure i know how to attach it here so u can see it and attach it to the final paper. can you tell me how to send it to you as an attachment. Thank you

Hi there. Thanks for the information. You can attach things by highlighting a word and then clicking the link icon (between the smiley face and the picture of the tree). Once you click the link, click the little icon next to the link url box, find the file, and submit it. If that gives you trouble, some people use an outside website like mediafire. It's a free site that lets you upload your files and share them by posting a link to it here. Let me know if I can help. Also, what's your deadline? Thanks!
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Customer reply replied 8 years ago
ok thank you, my final paper is due not this saturday but the following one, i believe that would be july 17th. i will double check for sure in a bit. but I would like to have it before then so i can be able to reveiw everything. I will try and attach the pictures in a little bit. :)

I can definitely make your deadline :-)

 

Attach when you get a chance, no rush, and let me know if I can help.

 

Thanks!

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Customer reply replied 8 years ago
I hope this works. this is the picture illustration that i am putting in my final report.
Customer reply replied 8 years ago
do you still have a copy of the rough draft or do u want me to resend it to you. for the illustrations if you can just put maybe a paragrapg or two on how drugs affect the body and then we can input the illustrations for methamphetamine use. this drug is one of the most addictve drug that is out there right now. I also included the graph if your able to use it, if not its okay too.
I do still have a copy of the rough draft, and the illustration link works great. Thanks!
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Customer reply replied 8 years ago
The instructor did submitt the rough draft to writepoint which reviews the paper and makes suggestions on corrections. I sent this to you so you can see if these corrections need to be made . thnx

 

 

Welcome to WritePoint, the automated review system that recognizes errors most commonly made by university students in academic essays. The system embeds comments into your paper and suggests possible changes in grammar and style. Please evaluate each comment carefully to ensure that the suggested change is appropriate for your paper, but remember that your instructor's preferences for style and format prevail. You will also need to review your own citations and references since WritePoint capability in this area is limited. Thank you for using WritePoint.

 

 

 

From the earliest attempts at curbing drugs to the present-day war on narcotics, the fight against drugs has been a persistent issue in American society. Today, the methods the United States uses to combat drugs in our [Use "we," "us," or "our" to mean yourself and coauthors, not general humanity (or yourself and the reader)] country simply do not work. Rehabilitation, making drugs illegal, the discrepancy between state and federal laws, and other issues intended to win the war on drugs hamper our progress. Drugs are an ongoing issue in society, and proper actions must be taken in order to [Clear writing suggestion--the meaning will be the same (and less wordy) by removing "in order"] win this war.

History

It's [Check spelling: If meant to be "it is," avoid contractions in formal writing--write it out; if meant as the possessive of "it," remove the apostrophe. The possessive form of "it" is "its"] surprising how long America has had laws against drugs. "The first American anti-drug law was an 1875 San Francisco ordinance, which outlawed the smoking of opium in opium dens. It was passed because of the fear that Chinese men were luring women in their 'ruin' in opium dens" (Thedrugwar.com). This was the first anti-drug law passed in the United States to address the narcotic problem. Once enacted, the federal government addressed the issue to control the opium being transported [Passive voice] in the United States. Opium is a highly addictive drug, and politicians felt [Clearer writing suggestion: if "feel" or "felt" is used in the sense of "to believe or think," it is a cliché and vague; use "believe" or "think"] that it was damaging to our country.

Throughout the years, America continued to fight against drug use and trafficking. The United States identified the usage [Check spelling: "Usage" refers primarily to legal procedures or grammar; most writing situations call for "use"] of controlled substances to be a problem in the 1960s, and just a year later established "The Controlled Substance Act of 1970." Per the [Avoid using "per" to mean "according to"--use it for statistical expressions, e.g., one per dozen, etc.] Drug Enforcement Administration, the act "is the legal foundation of the governments fight against the abuse of drugs and other substances. This law is a consolidation of numerous laws regulating the manufacture and distribution of narcotics, stimulants, depressants, hallucinogens, anabolic steroids, and chemical used in the illicit production of controlled substances" (Usdoj.gov). Before the act, hard drugs like acid were still technically legal. The 1970 act gave the Drug Enforcement Administration statutory power to declare which [Use "that" for a restrictive phrase (or place a comma before "which")] drugs were illegal.

Many have viewed drugs as a societal problem and not an epidemic. Narcotics were viewed [Passive voice] as a severe issue at the time, and while [Clearer writing suggestion: "While" is accurate in linking simultaneous events (in the sense of "during")--otherwise use "although," "whereas," "and," or "but"] only tiny groups of people were using drugs, the public scrutinized them. In response to the public scrutiny, President Johnson consolidated several drug agencies into one, and on "On June 17, 1971, President Richard J. Nixon declared war on drugs" (PBS.com). It was around this time that Elvis Presley visited the White House to request a DEA badge for his collection. Nixon granted him one (Sullivan, 2010).

While Elvis claimed he wanted to help with the war on drugs, many celebrities today seem to be promoting their use. However, the United States is spending massive amounts of money to stop drug abuse, which is ultimately part of the "War on Drugs." From Nancy Reagan, who told kids [Unless meaning young goats, this is slang and inappropriate in academic writing; use "children"] to "just say no," to modern-day methods of convincing poppy farmers to plant other crops, the methods used by the government are not working and tend to curtail any efforts that law enforcement uses to combat the war. One tactic currently used is the rehabilitation of drug users. The government will spend millions in rehabilitation, but the fact of the matter is [Vague and wordy--"the fact of the matter is" is an ineffectual phrase meant to appear substantial, but it does not make the sentence more meaningful] that a long-time user will need medical assistance to terminate his or her habit. The rehabilitation methods offered by the courts are not practical, which leads to drug users abusing the system or not having [Clearer writing suggestion--"having" as a transitive verb is vague. Reconsider the sentence using "possessing," "acquiring," "developing," etc. Often "having" can simply be deleted] the sufficient time to assist in the overall [Wordiness: unless meaning denim work clothes, "overall" is general and vague and contributes little to the sentence] efforts of the program. One other problem is [Clearer writing suggestion--add "that"] the overcrowding in the prison system. A person who opposes the "War on Drugs" will argue that narcotic offenders should not be treated [Passive voice] as serious criminals, but that is not what the government chooses as a form of punishment. This leads to overcrowded prisons that neglect to offer proper forms of rehabilitation available. The main point in the argument against the "War on Drugs" is that the war is costly and there has [Check verb--if the subject is plural, this should be "have"] been no dent placed in the amount of narcotics being funneled [Passive voice] into the United States. The amount of narcotics being smuggled [Passive voice] into the United States has increased rather than decreasing. This would raise the question by any rational person, why continue a war when the objective cannot be reached? [Passive voice]

The war in drugs is not a war that can be fought like the wars in the past. The war is fought in the backyards of all Americans, every day. Planes, tanks, and missiles cannot win this war. The United States will lose many Americans to this war, but if drugs are legalized [Passive voice] then the country will see an increase in casualties because drugs will be more readily available.

If cocaine and other drugs are legalized, [Passive voice] obtaining drugs will be easier for people of all ages. With the increased use of drugs, there are bound to be more traffic collisions resulting from those who are [Suggestion: see if the sentence can be rewritten to remove "that are" or "who are"] driving while high. Also, if more people are lawfully able to use drugs, more people will buy them and the prices of drugs will go down, making them much easier to buy. Drugs will be everywhere, even in the hands of America's children.

The government spends a large amount of money on centers for the rehabilitation of those who are addicted to different types of drugs. If drugs are legalized, [Passive voice] more people will become addicted and more rehabilitation centers will be needed [Passive voice] for them. The more rehabilitation centers that are [Suggestion: see if the sentence can be rewritten to remove "that are" or "who are"] built, [Passive voice] the more money our government spends, which is less money that can be spend on more important things.

This war should continue to be waged [Passive voice] on the drug traffickers who prey on every American in the United States. These people are the enemy and the government should do everything they can to eradicate their illegal businesses from this country and other countries.

One current trend that has been an issue with many Americans is the clash between federal and State [Remove capitalization if this is not a complete name (a proper noun)] [Do not capitalize this word] laws. The most controversial issue is the legalization of marijuana. In 1996, California voters passed Proposition 215 or the Compassionate Use Act of 1996. This act allows doctors to prescribe marijuana to patients diagnosed with medical problems such as cancer, anorexia, aids, chronic pain, glaucoma, arthritis, migraine, or any other illnesses for which the marijuana will provide relief. The patient is allowed to cultivate, possess and use marijuana if in possession of a valid recommendation of a doctor. The only restriction is that the patient can't sell the marijuana ("California Proposition," 2010).

Currently 13 states have legalized marijuana for medicinal purposes, but the federal government still falls back on federal guidelines that marijuana is illegal, even for medicinal purposes. This causes problems in the "War on Drugs" because there is a serious issue brewing that causes the citizens of this country to become less interested or caring of the battle against dangerous drugs.

The citizens of California passed Proposition 36, which dealt with rehabilitating rather then punishment. There have been ["There have been" is an awkward phrase if "there" is not clearly a location] steps to [This preposition should be "in"] decriminalize drugs in certain states and revert to treatment rather than criminal prosecution. "The Substance Abuse and Crime Prevention Act, also known as Proposition 36, was passed by 61% of California voters on November 7, 2000. This vote permanently changed state law to allow first and second time nonviolent, simple drug possession offenders to the opportunity to receive substance abuse treatment instead of incarceration" ("California Proposition," 2010). Proposition 36 placed a dent into the criminal justice system war on drugs, but assisted the prisoners with overcrowding. The law allows people found to be in possession of dangerous drugs to either enter a treatment program or be placed [Passive voice] on probation.

The United States Patriot Act was enacted [Passive voice] after a devastating terrorist attack on the United States of America on September 11, 2001. According to the United States Patriot Act, the United States Congress passed this act to unite and strengthen America by providing the appropriate tools to intercept and obstruct terrorist activities. Even though this act is primarily used for terrorism there has been some benefits s to the "War on Drugs." One might [Check word usage: Use "might" to indicate an uncertain possibility. Use "may" for a possibility almost a sure thing] ask what relevance terrorism has with the "War on Drugs." The underlying issue is that several of these country's' enemies manufacture and distribute narcotics to fund their terrorist activities that are [Suggestion: see if the sentence can be rewritten to remove "that are" or "who are"] directed [Passive voice] at the United States. When the United States Patriot Act was established, [Passive voice] several issues were streamlined [Passive voice] in order to [Clear writing suggestion--the meaning will be the same (and less wordy) by removing "in order"] help law enforcement agencies at the federal and state level to investigate these activities without jumping though several hoops. Investigations techniques such as sneak and peak search warrants, wiretaps, investigation of foreign banks involved in money laundering, have been less stringent and have proven to be a successful tool to law enforcement (Rolef, 2010).

The use, sales, distribution, and making of drugs have been around for many years and will continue to be around for many more years. I don't believe that the drug war is winnable, but I do think that we can do something to slow it down dramatically and make an impact on the distribution and sales portion of the drugs. The United States needs to continue to address the drug issues in this country because the future of this nation depends upon it. The borders of this country need to be secured [Passive voice] to stop the importation and illegal drugs and terrorists. The country must also seek help of nations such as Afghanistan to eradicate opium, which enters the United States and Columbia to battle the drug lords who import the majority of the into this country. Common sense must dictate who is eligible for treatment programs when arrested for possession drugs. The repeat offenders who have constantly failed [Doctoral-level comment (also recommended for any academic writer)--do not divide two-part verb beginning with has/have/had. Try to place "constantly" before or after the two-part verb (have failed)--"constantly have failed" or "have failed constantly" (or place "constantly" later in the sentence)] to rehabilitate must face some sort of penalty.

There is [Avoid using this phrase] much we can do to stop the drug use and trafficking that is [Clearer writing suggestion--Remove "that is"] so abundant in our country. These actions involve approaching this issue from several different [Redundancy: if you have "several," surely they are "different." Remove "different"] directions, but we can ultimately make a difference in the war against drugs. While we may not be able to win the war, we can win significant battles. In doing so, we will damage the sale and distribution of illegal substances. This is imperative, as drugs can only cause harm to our country and its citizens.

 

References

California Proposition 36. The Substance Abuse and Crime Prevention Act of 2000. Retrieved on May 22, 2010, from http://www.propr36.org/

 

Drug Abuse. Ed. Jennifer A. Hurley. San Diego: Greenhaven Press, 1999. Opposing Viewpoints Resource Center. Gale. Apollo Library-Univ of Phoenix. 28 May. 2010

Grassley, Charles E. "The United States Should Continue the War on Drugs." Opposing Viewpoints: "The War on Drugs Cannot Be Won by Fighting Drug Trafficking." Current Controversies: Drug Trafficking. Ed. Julia Bauder. Detroit: Greenhaven Press, 2008. Opposing Viewpoints Resource Center. Gale. Apollo Library-Univ of Phoenix. 28 May. 2010

 

McNamara, Joseph D, and Michael W. Lynch. "The War on Drugs Has Corrupted Law Enforcement." Opposing Viewpoints: The War on Drugs. Ed. Tamara L. Roleff. San Diego: Greenhaven Press, 2004. Opposing Viewpoints Resource Center. Gale. Apollo Library-Univ of Phoenix. 28 May. 2010

 

Sullivan, B. (2010, January 7). Elvis-Nixon still 'pure Americana' » Knoxville News Sentinel. Knoxville News Sentinel: Local Knoxville, Tennessee News Delivered Throughout the Day.. Retrieved June 25, 2010, from http://www.knoxnews.com/news/2010/jan/07/elvis-nixon-still-pure-americana/
This is very helpful, thanks!
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Just posting so the question won't close!
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Customer reply replied 8 years ago
OK :)
Customer reply replied 8 years ago
Hello, just want to make sure that everything is ok and that you dont need any further information for my final paper. :)
Hello there,
I apologize for not responding sooner, but I had to be out of town for a few days to deal with a family issue.

Everything is fine so far, and I'm still planning to have this to you this week. I know that it's due on the 17th, but I'd like to get it to you sooner so that you have time to review it and ask any questions or let me know if I can change something for you.

Thanks!
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Customer reply replied 8 years ago
Thank you :)
Hi again,
I'm finishing up and should have this to you this evening or tomorrow morning. Thanks!
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Customer reply replied 8 years ago

Cool thank you, XXXXX XXXXX keep my eyes open for the paper :)

Provide source information according to APA style.
Provide a complete citation on your reference list according to APA style.

Figure 1: This chart compares the number of women drinking alcohol during pregnancy.
In 2001 the number decreased after a steady rise in the previous years.
Note: from “Decrease in Drinking after Education Campaign,” 2002, JAMA, 32, p. 119


Hi there, I have the final draft for you. I've made the changes suggested WritePoint and have added the graphics/illustrations. Just a note-- in APA style, you need to cite all graphics/illustrations. I've included information on how to do this for you. Also, you'll want to add things like your title and name to the paper, and I didn't know if you needed an abstract so I left instructions for you to do that in the essay itself. To access this paper, visit the following website:


http://www.mediafire.com/?vzimk0tymqwduvy


Here is an example of a graphic/illustration that includes the citation:

Figure 1: This chart compares the number of women drinking alcohol during pregnancy. In 2001 the number decreased after a steady rise in the previous years. Note: from “Decrease in Drinking after Education Campaign,” 2002, JAMA, 32, p. 119

Don't forget to add the citation to the references page :-)

I'll be happy to help you with any further questions on this assignment. Best of luck!
KitKat1010
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Satisfied Customers: 315
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Customer reply replied 8 years ago
I just want to make sure that the graphs and illustrations are in the correct place. I noticed that they were placed in the middle of different paragraphs and in different locations. Is that how they are suppose to be ?
Let me double check :-)
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Hi there. I revised the essay a little by writing some introductory information for the graphics/illustrations. I placed the meth. pics together, and I think that works better. I also placed the chart near the paragraph about young people who do drugs. Please review and let me know if you think this works better. Thanks! Oh- you can find the essay here:
http://www.mediafire.com/?fcwvqqp76x5uq7j
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Customer reply replied 8 years ago
Yes, The changes you made were perfect and made the paper flow that much better in regard to the illustrations and graphs. Thank you very much. i will accept it :)
Great! I'm happy I was able to help :-)
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Customer reply replied 8 years ago
I really enjoyed working with you . if i have anything else may i request you or doi have to put it out to everyone and see who answers me ?
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Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

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