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Dr. Y.
Dr. Y., Urologist
Category: Urology
Satisfied Customers: 20387
Experience:  I am fellowship trained specializing in general urology and reconstructive urology.
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I am a 55 year old man. I recently ended (January) a 5 year

Customer Question

I am a 55 year old man. I recently ended (January) a 5 year relationship with my now ex-girlfriend. We enjoyed a great sex life together-- usually sex everyday, many times more than once/day. I had no problem getting and keeping an erection except in very rare cases. I was able to keep an erection a long time (30 minutes and longer). In the last 3 weeks i met a nice woman and after about 5 dates we started having sex. she is very different than my last partner personality wise and body-wise; i find her very attractive. it is not unusual for me to get an erection or semi-erection while sitting on the couch together or while kissing. it is not unusual for me to keep an erection for 90 mins while we kiss and grope each other, only to lose my erection after we start to have sex or after i orgasm. she is very pretty and sexy. She is very direct about critiquing my sexual performance-- good and bad. our sex together has been good, but also inconsistent. at times i orgasm very quickly, which is very unusual for me. once that happens, i have been able to get another erection, but it took longer than usual and she was frustrated. this morning i woke with an erection, but later when she wanted to have sex, it took an unusually long time for me to get an erection and then i could not sustain it. she was not happy with me. I have an appt to see my family doctor next week. questions: what is causing this change in my ability to get and keep erections? if i wanted to do something about it immediately, like today, what could i do to fix the problem? thanks for your help.... jim
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Urology
Expert:  Dr. Y. replied 5 years ago.
Thanks for your question. If I don't respond to you immediately, it is because I am either in the OR or traveling. I WILL get back to you ASAP.
To help you better can you tell what medical problems you have and what medications you are on?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
For the past 12 years or so i have had trouble sleeping. i can fall asleep fine, but then i wake up 4 hours later and can not get back to sleep. i tried many over the counter remedies but the sleeplessness got increasingly worse. i then tried many prescription sleep remedies, and in 2006 my doc prescibed Ativan which has really helped. i take 1 pill (2 mgs, i think) at night before bed. other than the sleep problem, my blood pressure is good, heart is good, cholesterol can be a little high sometimes. no family history of heart or cancer problems. thanks, jim
Expert:  Dr. Y. replied 5 years ago.
The fact that you can get an erection means that the mechanism to have an erection is working normally. However, it sounds like your new partner is very critical of you and this may be taking a toll on you psychologically which can certainly cause you to lose your erection . All men lose their directions after orgasm and there's no way to be able to maintain this after orgasm. This is how men naturally work. As for the ejaculating too soon, this is also a psychological issue but this can be fixed by taking medications such as Paxil or using topical lidocaine cream to the penis. The problem with the Paxil is that it can worsen your erectile dysfunction. The only thing that you can do immediately to try to fix your erections is see your doctor for a prescription of Viagra or Cialis to see if this helps to overcome your erection problems. Don't waste your time or money buying anything over-the-counter without a prescription as they are all a scam and do not work. You need to see a urologist or your primary doctor for these prescriptions. Hope this helps and let me know if you have questions.