UK Law

Get UK Law Questions Answered by Verified Experts

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

This answer was rated:

My partner, currently separated, has, in my opinion, been…

My partner, currently separated...

My partner, currently separated, has, in my opinion, been abusive, with insults such as calling me names, eg pervert, rapist, etc, when angry. For three years we have had an on off relationship, usually after arguments about my past, before I met her, and questions of trust, etc. It got to the extent that I have stopped going out, even to work events.

Lawyer's Assistant: Since estate law varies from place to place, can you tell me what state this is in?

The issue is.. we have separated this time, and I am being threatened with ruining my reputation with my job by claiming she will say I beat her etc, however I have a taped conversation, argument in which she says, if you don’t do this or that, I will call police and tell them you hit me and raped me. Thankfully I have that on tape, and told her this. She was very sorry and was nice to me fir a while. She is now claiming I promised a ring and that she is abusuve because I broke a promise. As you can imagine, I am very frightened. She is planning to tell people about our sex life and talk about things that did and dudnt happen. And to tell my work colleagues that I am this awful person. I have no idea what to do. She is very angry because I think she knows I am not going back this time. I understand that I should have left, but I was in love and believed when she said she would stop the awful comments and threats. She also thinks I owe her three thousand for credit card she spent during our five years. I spent considerably more. I undersatabd this is very volatile. But I am Afriad .. is what she doing illegal. Would I be ok when she takes a legal case against me which she may do

Lawyer's Assistant: Has anything been filed or reported?

Uk. Northern ireksnd. At the moment she is being aggressively angry and threatening to contact everyone I know. This can’t be ok.

Lawyer's Assistant: Anything else you want the lawyer to know before I connect you?

I do have emails and emails of name calling etc etc .and a tape of admitting to lie to the police . She is a divorcee with kids and she is now clsiming I groomed her fur sex. She has a therapist who seems to be telling her I was never getting engaged because I just want sex.. for 5 years.. I am not getting engaged because I don’t like the threats if I don’t domthis or that.

Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own UK Law Question
Answered in 2 hours by:
3/11/2018
frantzgregory
Category: UK Law
Satisfied Customers: 896
Experience: Principal at Gregory & Co Lawyers
Verified

Dear sir I read your question with tears in my eyes. This must be a very difficult period for you. I am really pleased you have been able to speak out here albeit for a fee. I am hoping you go a bit further by contacting the right people who deal with domestic abuse experienced by men. You may contact Men's Advice at http://www.mensadviceline.org.uk/.

With regards ***** ***** alleged criminal offence, she may throw at you, which you have no control over, you must keep all the evidence you have. Keep a diary of incidence that occurs or have occurred ed, what was said etc. It may be sensible to report to the Police but I fear that the Police are really clued up with domestic violence against men as they tend to be biased.

I am here to answer any further specific questions you have. Do you and your partner share your home together? if so I would suggest you move out immediately and have no more contact with this person.

Ask Your Own UK Law Question
JimLawyer
JimLawyer, Senior Associate & Consultant
Category: UK Law
Satisfied Customers: 601
Experience: Senior Associate Solicitor and Litigator
Verified
Hello and thanks for the question. Unfortunately, she has crossed the line in to criminal liability, most notably blackmail. You also have evidence of this on tape. Before it gets out of hand, you need to stop this in its tracks and speak to the Police on their non-emergency number (dial 101). You need to tell them the above but specifically you are being blackmailed and have evidence. The Police will take that seriously and it’s worth reporting now even if you don’t plan taking it further - at least it will be on record and the police can act on it if so requiredI hope I have helped - it’s not an easy situation by any means but from what you have said, there’s a god case for the police to take action.Best wishes,J
Ask Your Own UK Law Question
Customer reply replied 4 months ago
I presume in your experience, even if a reconciliation was possible, that this behaviour escalates, with further volatility. I am wondering, for future learning, that if a person accepts the behaviour is awful, that once this behaviour has started that it will take form in different formats. Ie changing the form of manipulation etc.
This is not the first time she has threatened me, when I taped the threat, she stopped saying she realised how upsetting it was and stopped. Clearly this has not stopped.
I am wondering now she has apologised etc that it will happen again and again.
That any discussion is just that.
Customer reply replied 4 months ago
I am at work presently and unable to talk.
I really wanted to know if ever point pursuing even if couples therapy etc

Yes, I agree. There's no harm reporting to the police and if they speak to her, this may focus her attention and stop her from carrying on like this.

You could of course try couple's counselling as there could be underlying issues which could come out and it could well make things better. However, those threats are serious and really it's up to you whether you want to take it further or not.

Her main issue is the threat of blackmail and alleging that you did things which you did not - the Police are aware that some women try to allege these things but if it turns out there is no evidence, she risks wasting police time and not only that, more and more women are facing custodial sentences.

Ask Your Own UK Law Question
Hi, if you could please accept my answer, many thanks
JimLawyer
JimLawyer, Senior Associate & Consultant
Category: UK Law
Satisfied Customers: 601
Experience: Senior Associate Solicitor and Litigator
Verified
JimLawyer and 87 other UK Law Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Customer reply replied 4 months ago
Hi
I have a question about what is abuse?
The pattern is that I will get insulted threatened with my job etc
then she acts as if nothing is wrong and says -- I only say these things I haven't behaved it -- so its not abuse -- then when she wants to do normal things - coffee etc to talk and I say I don't want to and suggested we only seek therapy -- she then gets very angry and upset and says I am being abusive because I am rejecting her and I don't want her... which is very unsettling
the argument being ... you should not have an issue with me as its just words and I would never do the things I say -- but gets the result of making me afraid and paralysed - and I am being like this because you don't want me...- which feels abusive (eg. why don't you be my friend after I have attacked you verbally) - is this process abuse?
I would classify it as abuse. It is a prolonged campaign of verbal abuse which is designed to cause mental distress. To me there’s no question that it meets that definition
Ask Your Own UK Law Question
Customer reply replied 4 months ago
Thanks JimYou have been very helpful - a part of me and most partners want to believe that it is "just" anger and words and clearly it is not all the time, but when she doesn't get what she wants or I do something she doesn't want me to do - then it gets abusive. A part wants to believe that its just insecurity on her part - but even if that is so - it is not ok that I suffer for her insecurity. The other belief is thinking it can change - unfortunately over five years it only gets worse despite promises of change.
Thanks
Michael

Hi Michael,

Yes, I totally understand - something similar happened to me and it turned out to be post-natal depression on her part. Not pleasant at all. But there is light at the end of the tunnel and a better life elsewhere.

Have a good weekend anyway.

If I can ask you rate my answers, I would be much obliged.

Best wishes,

J

Ask Your Own UK Law Question
Was this answer helpful?

How JustAnswer works

step-image
Describe your issueThe assistant will guide you
step-image
Chat 1:1 with a solicitorLicensed Experts are available 24/7
step-image
100% satisfaction guaranteeGet all the answers you need
Ask JimLawyer Your Own Question
JimLawyer
JimLawyer
JimLawyer, Senior Associate & Consultant
Category: UK Law
Satisfied Customers: 601
601 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Senior Associate Solicitor and Litigator

JimLawyer is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

A quick response, a succinct and helpful answer in simple English. I believe I can now confront the counter party with confidence -- worth the 30 bucks!

RickLeeds, UK

I did not know a French Law service existed and I was very impressed with the speed of reply --- very professional. Many thanks!

Ms. BakerAlfafar, Spain

Thank you so much for your help. Your answers were really useful and came back so quickly. Great!

MaggieUSA

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Ben Jones

Ben Jones

UK Lawyer

9,256 satisfied customers

Qualified Solicitor

INC

INC

Solicitor-Advocate

3,868 satisfied customers

LL.B, Pg.Dip, LL.M, M.B.A (Pending), Solicitor-Advocate. UK Practising Certificate issued by SRA., DIFC Courts Registered (Dubai)

Jenny Mackenzie

Jenny Mackenzie

2,760 satisfied customers

Over 10 years experience in general legal matters

Matthew J

Matthew J

Solicitor

334 satisfied customers

4 y PQE (Partner) - Commercial / Residential Property & Property and Civil litigation experience

James Mather

James Mather

7,349 satisfied customers

Senior Partner at Berkson Wallace

Clare

Clare

Solicitor

9,513 satisfied customers

family solictor with 25 years experience

Thomas

Thomas

Lawyer

2,177 satisfied customers

BA (Hons), PgDip, Practising Solicitor

< Previous | Next >

Related UK Law Questions
I am married and we have an 81/2 year old daughter. In
Hi, I am married and we have an 81/2 year old daughter. In summary, my wife is a heavy / problem drinker. When we married I knew she "liked" a drink, as do I but for her it is now getting out of contr… read more
MARCUS Malin
MARCUS Malin
BA Hons Business & Law
1 satisfied customers
Hello, I have been systematically bullied in the workplace
Hello, I have been systematically bullied in the workplace for at least 12 months now. It has been verbal, eg., the particular individual making it more or less impossible for me to do my work in a pr… read more
Ben Jones
Ben Jones
UK Lawyer
Legal Practice Course
9,256 satisfied customers
In our very acrimonious divorce we sought occupation orders
In our very acrimonious divorce we sought occupation orders against each other and I lost due to my wife inventing a charge of rape against me. Allegedly the rape occurred 10 years ago and there was n… read more
Clare
Clare
Solicitor
Bachelor's Degree
9,513 satisfied customers
I have a daughter of 16, who recently went to a party where
I have a daughter of 16, who recently went to a party where she very foolishly got very drunk. She had a blazing row with her boyfriend and they decided to split up after a year of being together. In … read more
Jo C.
Jo C.
Barrister
Master\u0027s Degree
38,136 satisfied customers
Hi there, I need help with the following situation. I am married
Hi there, I need help with the following situation. I am married for 7 years, my wife has contacted lawyers to issue divorce proceedings, lawyers sent me papers but I don't agree the accusations . My … read more
Clare
Clare
Solicitor
Bachelor's Degree
9,513 satisfied customers
My partner had a one night stand 12 mths ago. Recently he disclosed
My partner had a one night stand 12 mths ago. Recently he disclosed to me a conversation he had over heard relating to possible child protection issues. I am a foster carer with a duty of care. He ref… read more
Jo C.
Jo C.
Barrister
Master\u0027s Degree
38,136 satisfied customers
Hi! My friend wishes to withraw a statement she made to the
Hi! My friend wishes to withraw a statement she made to the police! The police told her she cannot withraw it. Which is not true. Is there any other way to withraw a statement, apart from going to the… read more
Jo C.
Jo C.
Barrister
Master\u0027s Degree
38,136 satisfied customers
I have knowlege that a childs abuser/rapist also raped 2 aunts
I have knowlege that a childs abuser/rapist also raped 2 aunts and a cousin during the time he "babysat" her. He has been sitting in jail awaiting trial, along with 2 others in the sex ring he involve… read more
Jo C.
Jo C.
Barrister
Master\u0027s Degree
38,136 satisfied customers
My wife fabricated an assault charge (section 47 Actual bodily
My wife fabricated an assault charge (section 47 Actual bodily harm) against me during our divorce. She then used the threat of the court case to gain and advantageous settlement the the amount of £36… read more
Clare
Clare
Solicitor
Bachelor's Degree
9,513 satisfied customers
I am not registered as the father to my 1 month child, she
I am not registered as the father to my 1 month child, she is 100% mine, but her mother is Polish and her ex is planning to take them back to Poland as he has told his family it is his. There is no ar… read more
Clare
Clare
Solicitor
Bachelor's Degree
9,513 satisfied customers
I am the victim of a false arrest and a conspiracy to pervert
I am the victim of a false arrest and a conspiracy to pervert the course of public justice. I have complained to the Force, who carried out an enquiry which was not properly done. An appeal was made t… read more
Jo C.
Jo C.
Barrister
Master\u0027s Degree
38,136 satisfied customers
I have broken an engagement to marry ( made about 18months
I have broken an engagement to marry ( made about 18months ago) and have not been seeing my former fiancee for just over 2 months. We are both divorcees and I have no dependent children ( she has a so… read more
Michael Holly
Michael Holly
Bachelor\u0027s Degree
6,739 satisfied customers
two years ago my son received numerous texts from my sister
two years ago my son received numerous texts from my sister telling him that his dad was a rapist, peodafile etc. I reported it to police. Now she has started emailing me abusive, hateful emails, yest… read more
Clare
Clare
Solicitor
Bachelor's Degree
9,513 satisfied customers
hi a social worker has made a referral for child protection
hi a social worker has made a referral for child protection for my one year old baby on grounds that my husband in a very angry and depressed state of mind had threatened to kill me and the baby. I kn… read more
Jo C.
Jo C.
Barrister
Master\u0027s Degree
38,136 satisfied customers
Hi, I am a landlord and my ex tenant is making a claim against
Hi, I am a landlord and my ex tenant is making a claim against me for harassment, I had 2 meetings in the property and we exchanged words, she would not pay the rent.. I suspect she may have taped the… read more
Jo C.
Jo C.
Barrister
Master\u0027s Degree
38,136 satisfied customers
hi previously you answered my question, maybe you rmemeber
hi previously you answered my question, maybe you rmemeber when i said i was arrested for theft at the locsl cash and carry. Yesterday i went to brighton magistrates court for the first hearing and pl… read more
Jo C.
Jo C.
Barrister
Master\u0027s Degree
38,136 satisfied customers
Hi My wife and i were not getting on at all and nearly two
Hi My wife and i were not getting on at all and nearly two years ago after we had been out after drinking a lot of alchohol (both) we later returned home and had sex. The next morning my wife accused … read more
Jo C.
Jo C.
Barrister
Master\u0027s Degree
38,136 satisfied customers
can a person be charged with GBH in UK even though the crime
can a person be charged with GBH in UK even though the crime occured aboard. But the foreign country refuse to prosecute due to fact their not native. Can you charge this person with anything. (the vi… read more
Jo C.
Jo C.
Barrister
Master\u0027s Degree
38,136 satisfied customers

DISCLAIMER: Answers from Experts on JustAnswer are not substitutes for the advice of an attorney. JustAnswer is a public forum and questions and responses are not private or confidential or protected by the attorney-client privilege. The Expert above is not your attorney, and the response above is not legal advice. You should not read this response to propose specific action or address specific circumstances, but only to give you a sense of general principles of law that might affect the situation you describe. Application of these general principles to particular circumstances must be done by a lawyer who has spoken with you in confidence, learned all relevant information, and explored various options. Before acting on these general principles, you should hire a lawyer licensed to practice law in the jurisdiction to which your question pertains.

The responses above are from individual Experts, not JustAnswer. The site and services are provided “as is”. To view the verified credential of an Expert, click on the “Verified” symbol in the Expert’s profile. This site is not for emergency questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals. Please carefully read the Terms of Service (last updated February 8, 2012).

DISCLAIMER: Answers from Experts on JustAnswer are not substitutes for the advice of an attorney. JustAnswer is a public forum and questions and responses are not private or confidential or protected by the attorney-client privilege. The Expert above is not your attorney, and the response above is not legal advice. You should not read this response to propose specific action or address specific circumstances, but only to give you a sense of general principles of law that might affect the situation you describe. Application of these general principles to particular circumstances must be done by a lawyer who has spoken with you in confidence, learned all relevant information, and explored various options. Before acting on these general principles, you should hire a lawyer licensed to practice law in the jurisdiction to which your question pertains.

The responses above are from individual Experts, not JustAnswer. The site and services are provided “as is”. To view the verified credential of an Expert, click on the “Verified” symbol in the Expert’s profile. This site is not for emergency questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals. Please carefully read the Terms of Service (last updated February 8, 2012).

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x