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Thomas Judge
Thomas Judge, Solicitor Advocate
Category: UK Law
Satisfied Customers: 33008
Experience:  Award winning lawyer with over 15 years experience
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Hello My wife filed a divorce petition that I received from

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My wife filed a divorce petition that I received from the court, reason: "respondent behaved in such way that petitioner cannot live with respondent". She left the house and does not want to participate to the household or share assets. Can I challenge this with responding to her allegations and stating that "she (the petitioner) committed adultery", adding circumstances and details of course, plus asking a split of the assets and a contribution to the household? Or do I have to file for my own procedure? Can I add a separated letter to explain that to the court with the "acknowledgment of service"? I cannot afford a new procedure cost or legal fees and I am ready to defend myself.
Thanks for your time.
Thanks for your question. Please remember to RATE once you get my answer.

In many ways there is little point if you are happy for the divorce to go through to cross petition or raise complaints of adultery. It makes no difference to any financial settlement entered into by the two of you. As such it is often easier to merely agree to the making of the divorce rather than dispute the basis of it. As to the assets the split or otherwise depends on a variety of issues, such as whether there are children and how long you have been married.

Please remember to rate and I will be happy to answer any additional questions
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I agree to divorce but not on her allegations and she does not want to split the assets and she committed adultery. The are no children and we have been married for 7 years. I just want that the assets are split and that she participates to the household. How do I express that: with a letter? Do you suggest I do not reply to the allegation and do not mention the adultery? That does not seem very efficient to defend my position.

Hello again,

You can if you wish disagree to the divorce. To disagree with the divorce petition fill in the ‘acknowledgment of service’ form and return it within 8 days. Fill in the part that says you’re defending the divorce.
After you return the form, you have up to 21 days to say why you are defending the divorce. This is called ‘giving an answer’. To do this, you will need to fill in the answer to a divorce petition. I am afraid that you may have to pay a £245 court fee. You can if you wish divorce her on the ground of adultery. But it will make no difference to any financial settlement. As such you will really be both spending more money and delaying things and as such it is often easier to agree to the divorce if that is what you want. I know it sounds odd, but people have been doing it this way for quite a while now.

As to the financials the court would look to a split of the assets and if this can not be agreed then the court cm deal with this part of things.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I understand, so, in summary: 1) I agree to the divorce but disagree on part of her petition because of her allegations and because she does not want a financial order (do I say "I defend the case"?) 2) I ask the court to proceed to a financial settlement and I explain the reasons 3) I pay £245 for this. Can I do this by mail in responding to the petition? Thanks

Yes you can

Please remember to rate positively so I can get my credit

Thomas Judge, Solicitor Advocate
Category: UK Law
Satisfied Customers: 33008
Experience: Award winning lawyer with over 15 years experience
Thomas Judge and other UK Law Specialists are ready to help you
HiIf you wish there to be a divorce you need to think carefully about the next steps.If you choose to defend the Divorce and Cross Petition Adultery is NOT the ground to use as it is impossible to prove unless your ex is willing to admit it or there is a baby whose DNA can be tested.It is highly unlikely that she will admit it - instead the matter will go forward into time consuming court cases which are likely to lead to a large costs Order that you may be ordered to pay to herIf you actually want a divorce then it is better to agree to her Petition - unless it makes allegations of violence - but only agree to it provided she does not claim costsWith regard to the financial side the fact that she has not made a claim is not a problem - you are entitled to make the claim in any event - and once the Decree Nisi date has been set then you can apply to the court for the financial issues to be dealt withClaire
Customer: replied 4 years ago.


OK I will accept to divorce without comments. So I must wait until the decree nisi to apply for a financial order or can I send that with the petition approval?

Also can I change court for the financial order because she applied 200 miles from where I live.


ONLY accept the divorce IF she agrees to with draw any claim for costs
You can out the financial application in whenever you wish - the Form is here
and the fee is £255.
Unfortunately you are stuck with the court the divorce was issued in
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thank you again. To end I will proceed with a financial order. My question is : do I join a letter to that to explain my estimate of my assets versus hers? She sold her apartment in South Africa (!) just before asking for divorce and paid it because she never participated to our household. How far do I have to detail all this? must I join already my bank statements etc?


ps: I will rate you excellent :)


Hi No need to send a letter - just send the form in (and the fee) and you will start off a process which involves a Form setting out all the assets you each have. If you wish to try and avoid the expense of a court application you can try and discuss matters with her using Family Mediation ( Claire