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Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: UK Law
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I am divorced and I have recently received unsolicited threatening

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I am divorced and I have recently received unsolicited threatening emails from my ex wives husband. My ex wife also sent hateful messages to all my friends on FaceBook last year libelling me. My ex is now sending messages to a lady she believes I am in a relationship with warning her not to get involved with me stating I will use her and hurt her.
I have not replied to any of these messages and have advised my friends to block her. Is there anything further I can do to prevent her continually harassing me and anyone she thinks I may have in my life?

Thank you for your question and welcome to Just Answer. My name is XXXXX XXXXX I will try to help with this.

How many messages have there been?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

One long one last year that she sent to at least a dozen if not more people. Then one recently that her new husband sent to me, which I forwarded to the Cornish police since it was threatening. Now she has messaged a lady who is just a friend, but whom she believes I am involved with warning her not to see me because she says I will lie and hurt her. I am fed up with it, she has alienated my children and now won't even let me lead a life of my own without interference. I have not replied to any of the messages.

What action did the police take please?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

The police said with regard to the husbands message that


'I will attempt to contact him and offer him words of advice.'


This was in response to the following message:


'I see you have done yourself proud again . Fathers for justice !! More like cock of the year. Just when you started to repair the damage you caused your ego took over and posted crap again. Now no contact from xxxxx again let alone your wonderful son that carries on like your daughter to do you proud . Shame you can not see but you never will until you change . Forcing your daughter to get that upset that she has to post on your Facebook must make you proud of your self . I never wanted to speak to you again but feel you are so f**king useless as a Dad I could point you in the right direction. Keep on like you do and you will never rebuild the damage you caused. Parental alienation is a figment of your mind. What's more important your ego or your kids. Don't bother messaging me back I don't give a f**k about you!!! Just think of these kids for once Ps don't bother with the PI again next time he try's to make contact with my kids I will send him to you personally and that's a guarantee !!!!!!! ( you don't really know me do you )'



The only message I have sent to him is the following and was in response to my ex messages last year


Please advise xxxxx to stop sending messages to my friends, if it continues I will sue for libel.

I have returned items to the children every time I have returned to Cornwall and indeed ended up bring stuff back because I was unable to see the children due to child abuse claims, and domestic violence claims.

I will continue to send photos back on my UK trips, though I don't have any in the near future. Now I ask you to keep YOUR nose out of MY relationship with MY children. I was hoping your were a bigger man'



This evening the following was sent to my friend who assists with alienation and is a great support whom my ex believes I have a relationship with:


"have an amazing hubby now . I wasted years with xxx he isn't worth your time . Take my advice Run . He is only telling you his side of the story , he will hurt you , i'm reaching out to you because I can feel you are a loving person . Be very aware of xxx . I warned you ."



My ex has done everything to alienate the children and unfortunately has succeeded. I just want to be left alone and in peace but they won't let it be. I am sick of it…. :(


What I need to know is what action did the police take? Do you just not know?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

All the police have said is


'I will attempt to contact him and offer him words of advice.'


And I have heard nothing since. This was just in regard to the husbands message. I have not done anything as of yet with regard to my ex wives messages.

Yes, the complicating factor here is that this is harassment by more than one person.

If she has sent more than two message to which you have not responded then that is harassment and you can make a report to the police. All they will do is issue her with a harassment warning but that might be sufficient.

The complicating factor here is that she doesn't make contact with you directly but harassment can be indirect. If she is contacting others and making comments that are likely to get back to you then there is an argument that amounts to harassment.

In terms of the husband, he is insane to get involved in this. Whoever is right in this matter, this is his wife's dispute and he shouldn't be exposing himself to any danger over this. If the police spoke to him a while ago then probably he was given a harassment warning and further contact would constitute breach. They would probably consider prosecuting him if he is still making contact despite the harassment warning.

Can I clarify anything for you?

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

What would be the best course of action? To contact the police with regard to the harassment from my ex as well or to get an official letter from a solicitor?


No, call the police. There is cost in getting a solicitor and she would be on the phone to the police fast enough if you misbehaved towards her.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

OK thank you very much for your help. Just want to be allowed to get on with my life !

Yes, I quite agree.

A harassment warning might scare her off.
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