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Hi, Me and my ex partner have been separated for 4 months…

Hi, Me and my ex partner...

Hi,
Me and my ex partner have been separated for 4 months now and she has an undertaking on me, not allowing me within 100 metres of my house. She is saying that the house is hers and I only have equity in it. I put down a £24000 deposit and still pay half of the bills. She was caught by my son on Sunday with another man and has now told me that she has been seeing him for about a month and he also stays over. My question is this, I have 2 young daughters and a son and am wary about a man being around them as she doesnt really know him that well. Also, is this classed as cohabiting which means she needs to sell the house within 6 months????

Regards,
Ade

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Answered in 8 minutes by:

10/10/2012

Solicitor: Stuart J, Advocate replied 10 years ago

Stuart J, Advocate

Category: UK Law

Satisfied Customers: 30,812

Experience: High street practice 30 years. Former Senior Partner

Verified

Is the property in joint names?

Customer reply replied 10 years ago

Unfortunately yes...silly me

Solicitor: Clare, Solicitor replied 10 years ago

Clare, Solicitor

Category: UK Law

Satisfied Customers: 36,006

Experience: family solictor with 25 years experience

Verified

Hi
Are you married, how much is the house worth and how much is outstanding on the mortgage?
Have you made a Mediation appointment at all?
Claire

Customer reply replied 10 years ago

Hi Claire,

No not married..not bothered about the deposit I payed. Just want to make sure my kids are safe as he is now living in my house. The house is worth £210000 mortgage outstanding is about £115000. Her solicitor agreed to book mediation in August but nothing yet. If I contact her regarding anything apart from seeing the kids she just hangs up. Is this classed as cohabiting as I have read that if this is the case, she has to sell up within 6 months????

Ade

Solicitor: Clare, Solicitor replied 10 years ago

Hi
How much is the house worth and how much is outstanding on the mortgage?
How old are the children and how often does your ex's boyfriend stay the night?
Claire

Customer reply replied 10 years ago

The house is worth £210000, mortgage is about £115000......she is very secretive about this but according to my son every night. 2 girls aged 3 and 4, one boy aged 8

Solicitor: Clare, Solicitor replied 10 years ago

Hi
My apologies - I meant to ask how much your earn after tax and how much you are paying?
Claire

Customer reply replied 10 years ago

My ex is paying me £480 per month but has been advised to drop it to £400 as she is now paying council tax. I earn about £1700 after tax

Solicitor: Clare, Solicitor replied 10 years ago

Hi
Sorry why is she paying you anything?
Claire

Customer reply replied 10 years ago

Hi Claire,

it was agreed in court. All bills are in joint names. Was told by my barrister that CSA would take 25 % of my wages, but because I am paying nearly £600 per month for bills etc that it is a fair compromise....

Ade.

Solicitor: Clare, Solicitor replied 10 years ago

Hi
What was the financial part of the court order about why is SHE paying YOU money?
Claire

Customer reply replied 10 years ago

I am not living in my house now. she is paying me money as she lawfully owns half of the house. It was agreed in court that she must either pay half of the bills or get CSA involved. I dont want to damage the kids anymore than I have to and was advised to pay more than half of the bills. I wanted all of the bills to be transferred into her name, but she refused. i was also willing to pay more than the CSA wanted from me as I dont want my kids to be unhappy. The court agreed that the money I will give her from the CSA will be a lot less than what I am paying at the moment.

Solicitor: Clare, Solicitor replied 10 years ago

Hi
Sorry - you are still paying the mortgage and all the bills?
Does the Court Order state that you have to?
Claire

Customer reply replied 10 years ago

Hi,

No the court order states that she pays £480 per month until mediation. The bills come to £1200. The orginal order wanted me to pay all of the bills and was saying that because my sister lives in a 4 bed house, I can stay with her. Both solicitors agreed that it was only fair for both parties to pay 50%. My main concern is for the safety of my children. My son walked into the bedroom and he was asleep in my bed at 6am. She hardly knows the bloke and am really worried about it.

Solicitor: Clare, Solicitor replied 10 years ago

Hi
How much does a three bedroom property in the same general area cost?
Claire

Customer reply replied 10 years ago

To buy is about £220000 as its a village with access to the M5. To rent is about £600 for a one bed flat, thats why Im in Torquay as its a lot cheaper. Money comes secondary to my kids welfare, and I really dont like the thought of another man around my 2 girls, my son is very upfront and will tell me everything but my girls are only 3 and 4, very worrying as she hardly knows him.

Solicitor: Clare, Solicitor replied 10 years ago

Hi
If you live in an area that operates Sarah's Law and Claire' Law
http://www.sarahslaw.co.uk/how-it-works/
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-19495894
Then some information can be requested and will be given to your ex
If this man is indeed living at the property more than four nights a week and has no fixed home elsewhere then he is co-habiting and it will be easier to apply to the court for an immediate sale of the property.
I remain concerned about the financial arrangements and can see no reason why your ex does not take over the bills and mortgage with you paying Child Maintenance in the usual way
Claire

Customer reply replied 10 years ago

Hi Claire,

Your help has been a godsend to me. A few further points...how can I prove he is staying there for 4 nights, do I hire a private detective???? It was agreed at the hearing that I would look after the bills as my ex isnt very good with money, also my fixed rate mortgage is due to expire in one month and I want to talk to the bank and not go to standard rate. She is also saying that I cant speak to my kids as I will poison their minds with my questions about her new bloke....thanks again in advance...you really have been truly wonderful and I will give you a glowing report......

Ade.

Solicitor: Clare, Solicitor replied 10 years ago

Hi
An enquiry agent would be the best option yes.
What contact are you having with the children?
Claire

Customer reply replied 10 years ago

Hi Claire,

No contact at all. She says that it needs to be supervised but in the undertaking there is nothing at all to do with this. She is worried that my kids will tell me everything that has been going on. I have seen my kids twice in 4 months now and am worried they will start to hate me.........

Solicitor: Clare, Solicitor replied 10 years ago

Hi
To start with find a local mediator and do a referral yourself
If she will not attend mediation apply to the court for a defined contact order
Lots of information on the website
http://www.thecustodyminefield.com/
Claire

Clare, Solicitor

Category: UK Law

Satisfied Customers: 36,006

Experience: family solictor with 25 years experience

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