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My ex has decided that I cant have my five year old son stay…

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My ex has decided that...

My ex has decided that I can't have my five year old son stay over on a Saturday night anymore because one morning he woke up and I wasn't in the room with him, I was outside the door. As children do, he has said Daddy wasn't there when I woke up and she has decided this is not good enough. I think it's because she has been told that if I continue to carry on having him stay over night once a week that her maintenance will be cut.
Where do I stand on this?

Submitted: 13 years ago.Category: UK Law

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Answered in 39 minutes by:

8/28/2009

Solicitor: Clare, Solicitor replied 13 years ago

Clare, Solicitor

Category: UK Law

Satisfied Customers: 36,006

Experience: family solictor with 25 years experience

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hi
are there any court orders in place?
claire

Customer reply replied 13 years ago

Hi Claire,
No court orders, I pay full maintenance through the CSA.

Solicitor: Clare, Solicitor replied 13 years ago

hi
were you actually in the house/flat?
claire

Customer reply replied 13 years ago

Its a converted garage attatched to the house that I have just completed for him, at my ex's request that he should have his own room. I sleep in the room with him. I bought bunk beds. I sleep on the double one at the bottom and he sleeps on the top one. No chance of him falling out as it has substancial safety bars to prevent this. She has also objected to him sleeping in the top bunk even though he has a bunk bed and sleeps on the top when he stays with her! She doesn't see him over the weekends Friday nights til Sunday evening as he stays with my parents. My parents also have him in the week. My ex sees him two hours a day, she wrote this in an email to me last week, One hour in the morning and one hour in the evening before she puts him to bed. I comply fully with all her requests but this has just gone too far. My son is really upset about this. She is very controlling and complains that I don't disciplin him enough etc. I was a stay at home father for six months from the time he was born. We split up when he was three and he will turn 6 end of September. At no time ever has there been any cause for concern over his welfare. This is all to do with money and she is using our son to maintain it. I have never let my son go without and she only ever has to ask for anything and I will get it. When we split up she was earning far more money than me but I always paid for my son. I have never missed a payment and don't intend to. She thought she could get more money from me by going to the CSA but it back fired as I now pay less! It's cruel and unjust.
Do I have to keep on puttting up and shutting up or can I have a say in this?

Kind Regards,

RichardAlso.... I have re married. We live in a two bedroom semi. My wifes son, whose a trainee police officer, has one room and my wife and I have the other room. I signed all the equity of my previous home to my ex.

Solicitor: Clare, Solicitor replied 13 years ago

hi
the laws ays that your son is entitled to have regular personal contact with you and the courts will enforce this if necessary
given what you say your ex's position is simply unacceptable
if it is not possible to negotiate with her using family mediation (www.familymediationhelpline.org.uk) then you have no option but to make an application to the court for a defined contact order in order to ensure your ongoing ocntact with the child - and indeed maybe even extend it
you can get help advice and support from families need fathers (www.fnf.org.uk)
claire

Clare, Solicitor

Category: UK Law

Satisfied Customers: 36,006

Experience: family solictor with 25 years experience

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Clare and 87 other UK Law Specialists are ready to help you

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Customer reply replied 13 years ago

Yes I thought this would be the only way but as I wouldn't be entitled to legal aid and couldn't afford the court costs then I guess I'm stuck.
Thank you for your time

Solicitor: Clare, Solicitor replied 13 years ago

hi
the only unavidable cost is the £175 court fee - you can complete the form C100 your self
http://www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk/courtfinder/forms/C100_1108.pdf
and deal with the matter your self - families need fathers will help
claire

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