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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: UK Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 13471
Experience:  25 years experience of all aspects of family law
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My wife left me last Feb and stopped all contact with me

Customer Question

Hi. My wife left me last Feb and stopped all contact with me and our children. She went to womens aid and lied about me. I had to go to court - I tried to get full custody of my children because she had been hitting the older one about and also kicked him in the back. Unfortunately I narrowly lost but got about 25% contact with them. Since then she hit my son again and police and social services were involved.
Somehow she manages to put the blame on someone else, namely me and my son. She has got legal aid now because of her lies and is threatening to go back to court stop my contact because she says I have been talking about why we split up to my son. I only replied to his questions because she had told him it was all his fault and that I had lied which I haven't. She is also threatening me with court as she wants a passport for the younger one. I cant allow this at the moment because she could take them back to Zambia where she originaly came from. She wont even talk to me except through a solicitor as it costs her nothing and she threatens me for every little thing with her lawyer.
I am filling in the E form as she is taking me to court for the old family home. I don't want to loose it as 1. I will have nowhere to live and the children need to come end stay with me 2. It is possible that if she hits them again they might come back to live with me at some stage. I have been paying for the house for 30 years but we have only been married for 11, does this make any difference? I am nearly 55 and can only get a small mortgage now. I am a partner in a small family business and have already had to reduce the stock to pay for the court costs. She can offset the value of the business and the business property which I have probably inherited half of (as my Mother died at Christmas) against her claim of the house. I cant live at the business property as it has a small flat and it is used for the business office.
I feel the system has been somewhat unfair to me because I am a man. The accusations made to womens aid were not true and every where I go I am judged unfairly from the start which is so annoying. She is controlling hostile and her temper is making the children shout and become angry. Somehow she manages to blame me for the childrens unhappiness and temper, but what makes me really annoyed is when she lies to my children turning them against me.
Any advice you have on filling the form or dealing with this will be much appreciated. Thankyou.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: UK Family Law
Expert:  Thomas Judge replied 1 year ago.
Is contact continuing at the moment in light with the previous order?