How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Thomas Judge Your Own Question
Thomas Judge
Thomas Judge, Solicitor Advocate
Category: UK Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 32980
Experience:  Award winning lawyer with over 15 years experience
Type Your UK Family Law Question Here...
Thomas Judge is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My 11 year old does not want to see her dad as much as the

Customer Question

Hi my 11 year old does not want to see her dad as much as the court order states she should I have tried to encourage her to go as much as I can but she becomes increasingly upset and anxious when It comes to a visit.. She has threatened to run away if I force her to go and makes herself sick over the worry of it what can I do?? The court order was put in place 5 years ago
JA: Thanks. Can you give me any more details about your issue?
Customer: Yes what do you need to know
JA: OK got it. Last thing — Solicitors generally expect a deposit of about $18 to help with your type of question (you only pay if satisfied). Now I'm going to take you to a page to place a secure deposit with JustAnswer. Don't worry, this chat is saved. After that, we will finish helping you.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: UK Family Law
Expert:  Thomas Judge replied 1 year ago.

let me see if I can help and please rate positive.

The starting point is that you would have to make an application to vary or discharge the original order if she is basically refusing to attend contact. You can apply to the court on a form C100. I would always try and speak to the father if at all possible to see if agreement to vary can be reached (mediation may well assist) but if not then the application to the court. The court will want to hear what your daughter says and cafcass may well want to meet with her to discuss. There are some excellent books on this topic available on amazon -

Happy to discuss - please rate positive.

Expert:  Thomas Judge replied 1 year ago.

I hope this has answered your query. I would be grateful if you could please take a second to leave a positive rating (3, 4 or 5 stars) as that is an important part of our process and recognises the time I have spent assisting you. If you need me to clarify anything before you go - please get back to me on here and I will assist further as best as I can. Thank you

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.


My name is ***** ***** I have been a family lawyer for more than 30 years.

Your daughter is at an age where whilst the Court will wish to hear her wishes they will not necessarily abide by them.

Indeed last year a High Court judge ruled that a mother had to force a 14 year old boy to attend contact by way of threats to remove his electronics.

Fortunately most lower court Judges will take a much less extreme view

first move do ask her school if they have any counselling options to see if your daughter will explain her reluctance and the reason she objects to going - this may be important

With regard to your ex your starting point HAS to be family mediation - it is compulsory - and you should choose a mediator trained to work with young people. This will ensure that if the matter does go to court you will have some independent record of her wishes.

If that fails then a Court application is indeed your only option


Expert:  Thomas Judge replied 1 year ago.

I see that my colleague has agreed with my view on this matter. If you have any further questions then please do not hesitate to ask.

Related UK Family Law Questions