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Thomas Judge
Thomas Judge, Solicitor Advocate
Category: UK Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33038
Experience:  Award winning lawyer with over 15 years experience
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My name is ***** *****. My ex wife and I have a shared care

Customer Question

Good morning. My name is ***** *****.
JA: Thanks. Can you give me any more details about your issue?
Customer: My ex wife and I have a shared care order which was agreed last year after she began to withdraw contact over personal and financial matters. Since we separated, we have both found new partners. She lives with her partner and has a new child. I live alone apart from when the children are living with me as per the order. My new partner (2 years standing) lives 3 hrs away and when it is possible, we share our time with our respewctive children. Her daughter is age 8 and my two children are 9 & 10 respectively. We enjoy a very positive relationship and the children have established a close bond with my new partner and her daughter. We do not currently live together, but things are moving in that direction, though when is to be determined. The issue is that my ex wife is persistently demanding to meet my new partner as she spends time with the children and we have a two week holiday planned this summer. I have advised her that (unlike her situation i.e. the children live with her and her partner and child), who the children and I share our time with is a matter for us as is the same for her. My partner does not want to meet my ex due to my ex's volatile nature and to be honest, I wish to keep my past life with her as far away from my new life which is happy, balanced and full of love and support. My ex is claiming she has the right to meet her and has said that if I don't facilitate this, she will find a way to contact her directly to try to arrange this. What would you recommend under the circumstances? Thank you
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Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: UK Family Law
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
In addition to the above, I would be grateful if you would confirm the legal position of both myself and my ex wife with regards ***** ***** claiming she has "the right as the children's mother to meet her (my partner)" and giving consideration to her correspondence. In her email today, she wrote, "This can be a very simple uneventful episode, where we meet, with all of our children, or it can be another battle between us as their parents. I WILL be meeting Jo before your holiday. You have two choices; arrange a meting so it can be on both our terms and amicable, or I will contact her directly without your consent. Make this easy and arrange a meeting, or I will!"I have been very clear that there is no value or benefit to the children in her meeting my new partner (it is entirely about her 'vetting' my new partner as a 'suitable' person to be spending time with the children!) and as such, she will not be meeting her. However, I did caveat this by saying I would reconsider this in the event that we live together (which given the shared care order which says the children live with both parents) would effectively mean the children live with myself and my partner (as she does with hers.).
Expert:  Thomas Judge replied 1 year ago.

Let me see if I can help and please rate positive.

Your ex does not have a right to meet your new partner. Nothing in law grants such a right. Sometimes it can prove helpful where there are children for new partners to meet old but that it really a matter for you. Happy to discuss further please rate positive.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
What steps can I take to stop my ex from approaching my new partner directly? Will this require a specific issues order or similar and what is the process for this?
Expert:  Thomas Judge replied 1 year ago.

The nonsense in law is that unless she does something you would not be successful in obtaining an order against - basically a non molestation order. The best you can really do at this stage is to get a formal letter (from a solicitor) basically telling her to back off as this attitude/approach is considered to be a form of harassment. Happy to discuss please rate positive.

Expert:  Thomas Judge replied 1 year ago.

I hope this has answered your query. I would be grateful if you could please take a second to leave a positive rating (3, 4 or 5 stars) as that is an important part of our process and recognises the time I have spent assisting you. If you need me to clarify anything before you go - please get back to me on here and I will assist further as best as I can. Thank you