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jusleen, Family Lawyer
Category: UK Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 942
Experience:  Qualified Family Solicitor practising family law since 1999. Member of resolution.
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My son is 13 last weekend he refused to go camping with s

Customer Question

hello I am son alexander is 13 last weekend he refused to go camping with his dad(alexander is leaving with me and we have been divorced for 5 yeras) and dad's new partner and her children. my exused emotional blackmail so he would go with them.I wonder at what age he will be able to refuse to see his father?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: UK Family Law
Expert:  jusleen replied 2 years ago.

Hi is there a court order in place? What is the reason behind nor wanting to go to see his father. Have you tried to speak to his father?

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
there is a court order he is supposed to see his dad every second weekend and spend some time during school holidays.alexander didn't want to see his father this time as it was supposed to be just two of them camping(they do it every year)this time his dad was bringing new girlfriend and her children as well, and alexander didn't want that, he felt pushed out. but his fater used emotional blackmail, put him under such pressure(I received lots of rude messages as well on my mobile)so he had no option but to go with his father. this happened before, I don't think my ex is a good role model, he can be really mentally abusive, that's why our marriage broke down,m and I really don't weant to see my son suffer like that.speaking to his father doesn't work, you will just get verbal abuse if you don't do what he wants you to do,
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
that's why Iwould like to know at what age he can refuse to go and see his dad?
Expert:  jusleen replied 2 years ago.
There is no set age in law. However if the child is able to voice it's wishes and feelings with proper reasoning then the voice us heard. Here it seems that he does want to see his father but there needs to be understanding by the father that any changes must be sensitively managed for instance introduction of a new partner etc. What you need to do is refer the matter for mediation to a mediator who is trained to speak to children direct. If there needs to be a change in the order then you would need to apply to vary the order if a resolution cannot be reached via mediation. A mediator who us trained to speak to children can speak to your son and report back his feelings to assist you both in reaching an agreement. If mediation is unsuccessful then you can apply to court.
Mediation is now mandatory before any court application.
I hope this assists. Please rate the answer to enable me to be credited for my time. If you are interested in further dialogue am prepared to continue dialogue with you at no extra charge in relation to this question.
Kind regards
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
but when my son reaches age of 16 is he going to be seen as an adult able to make his own decisions?
Expert:  jusleen replied 2 years ago.
Hi at*****he will most certainly be able to make his own decision. It may be that if he does not want to see his father at this stage that he is not forced to see him. There is no hard and fast rule. It depends on the individual child and there has been cases in the past where a child of 13 or 14 have had their voices heard and respected because they have given informed decisions.
Expert:  jusleen replied 2 years ago.
Hi Anita,
I hope you have read my last response. Please let me know if I can help further. Please rate my answer to enable me to be credited for my time.
Kind regards