Thank you for your prompt, concise and good reply, especially as you cite case law. This does go some way to alleviating my fears to the current problem at hand.
There are two other scenarios that concern me.
I will state form the outset that the ADHD/ODD child is diagnosed and medicated for the condition.
Scene 1: One evening we as a family were driving in the car and in the back the older sibling complained that the ADHD/ODD child was behaving inappropriately. The older sibling complained that the the ADHD/ODD child was punching and touching the older siblings breasts and groin area. When told firmly to stop this the ADHD/ODD child stated that she "won't and you cant make me." This caused a reaction where i pulled the car to the side of the road, opened the rear door and raised my hand as if to slap the ADHD/ODD child. There was no contact, and I just raised my hand. Thats all. According to social services this was a threat of assault and opens me to prosecution.
The other time was that the ADHD/ODD child was being disobedient and I shouted at her. In response, she assaulted me, about 5 or 6 times with closed fists (which left bruising on me).In hindsight, I believe I should have just 'bear hugged' her and think this may be the correct approach to take in future.
As response to that situation, after maybe the 6th punch, I put my arms up (open handed) to the height the fists were being thrown from and blocked further punches. During the first defensive blocks, the momentum of her swing caused my open hand to catch the childs cheek. Again, nothing that left a bruise nor even a red mark.
At the time (maybe 2 years ago) the child said nothing further but has recently stated that if I "do not do as im told" she will "tell" social services that I have hit her in the face.
I am a bit lost. Am I in trouble here for either of these scenarios? I love my wife but I have to be able to trust the people I choose to live with. I work at a high level of security clearance so any accusation can severely determent my 20+ year career.
Thank you or your time and answers.