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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: UK Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34105
Experience:  25 years experience of all aspects of family law
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Claire..please help. I cannot take it anymore: my 9 yo old

Customer Question

Claire..please help. I cannot take it anymore: my 9 yo old daughter came out of school yesterday in tears AGAIN! First, last week, she had homework to "write about someone who she looks up to and would like to be like". She decided to "write about her daddy" and had to go through hell when her mum found out. She was in tears as soon as she saw me at school and told me how her mum shouted and argued with her, sent her crying to her room and didn't show her any affection as a mother, then ignored her for a couple of days.
Then yesterday, she was visibly upset and tired. She straight away said she wanted to speak to me and said that her mum's boyfriend from Australia (with whom I've no issues whatsoever personally) came and that she sent her and her 11 old brother and hour earlier to bed so she could be with her boyfriend alone even though it wasn't their usual bedtime. She then made so much noise around 10pm in the bedroom next door to my daughter's whilst having **x and my daughter couldn't sleep. She knocked on the door, asked them to keep the noise down because she couldn't sleep, yet they just laughed if off and just carried on. My daughter said "daddy, I know what they were doing and they ignored me, I had to eventually go downstairs and try and sleep on the sofa without any covers but I still heard them".. She couldn't fall asleep till very late after midnight and she was then tired and sleepy in school. I spoke to my solicitor today briefly in court (FDA) and he was shocked, just asked what age my daughter was. Will have to speak to him again, but I made it clear if my daughter complains again, I would take further steps. What do you advise? Enough is enough!
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: UK Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
Has your daughter confided in any one at school?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

i don't know..i tried to calm her down and tried to make a joke of it just to get he to smile...i don't think she would have done so..

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
The problem remains that your daughter needs to share this with someone else so that you cannot be accused of coaching her.
Encourage her to speak about her concerns to whoever deals with pastoral matters at her school
Alternatively consider looking for local support services in the area
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

OK, as a governor in her school if i encourage her to speak to someone in the school, i could be accused of using the school staff and having some preferential treatment in some way..what other support services? the one other service that crossed my mind was the same one she threatened me with (head-lice problem) - social services, is that a no-go or should i consider it?

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Is there not a nominated Pastoral Care person at the school?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Hmm..good question. I'm not sure. I will ask on Monday and get back to you.

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
That would be a good first try
If not ask your GO what services are available locally - usually Barnardos or Action for Children run them

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