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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: UK Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34142
Experience:  25 years experience of all aspects of family law
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me and my husband have been seperated for over a year and I

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me and my husband have been seperated for over a year and I am the primary carer. We had an agreement of dad seeing the children every other weekend and an evening during the week which he has not stuck to. He is now demanding 50/50 joint custody and that I am being unreasonable by telling him to stick to a routine and then we shall discuss joint custody but he says he has a legal right to have the children 7 days out of 14 and there is nothing I can do about it and he is going to pick them up on Monday for 7 nights. My children are 2 years and 4 years old and I believe that dad needs to prove that he can stick to a routine first before having 50/50. Can he just pick the children up monday? he is refusing to negotiate anything other than 50/50 at the moment and he says i cannot dictate what is going on.
Thank you for your question I will do my best to assist.
Your ex has no right to have the children for 50% of the time - and certainly not for seven days on demand.
Parents are expected to make arrangements that are in the children's bets interests and since you have been the main carer of the children until now then this is what will continue.
Alternate weekends plus one night in the week is a good start - but you are right your ex needs to stick to a routine and show that he is able to prioritise the needs of the children.
You do not have to allow him to collect the children from you on Monday - and if he does remove the children from your care then you can make an application to the court for an emergency Residence Order which will mean that the police will be able to assist you in recovering the children into your care.
You should tell your ex that you are willing to discuss matters with him using Family mediation ( to see how matters should progress - but frankly the current arrangements seem reasonable unless and until he has shown the necessary commitment
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