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The IRS counts both spouses liable for the full debt if they file a joint return. There is a “Separate Liability” Relief available but that is when one caused the debt by not claiming income.
You may ask for “Equitable” Relief" when you do not qualify for the other 2 types (Innocent ans Separate which you do not appear to be able to use).
You can ask the IRS not to make you pay taxes from a joint return if you don’t fit into either of the above categories and yet you think it would be unfair if you had to pay the tax. This may be appropriate where your spouse promised to pay the tax due and didn’t; where you signed the return out of fear; or where the spouse agreed to pay the taxes in a written separation agreement or by court order.
When you filed joint that made you both liable and the IRS does not care who they get the amount from unless the request is made.
They just look at as a debt and whoever they can get the amount from they will. Filing to request it be split is your option.
To request equitable relief, you must file Form 8857. That splits your income.
These states (California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada and New Mexico) the IRS can collect a post-marital tax liability of either spouse from 100% of community property.