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I am so sorry to hear that about the treatment you received from your husband.
If you filed a joint return and had the refund deposited in one or the other account the IRS will not intervene if one spouse spent all.
Many married taxpayers (even if not living together) choose to file a joint tax return because of certain benefits this filing status allows them. When filing jointly, both taxpayers are jointly and severally liable for the tax and any additions to tax, interest or penalties that arise from the joint return even if they later divorce.
I wish I could advise that the refund could have been split but filing jointly and placing all the refund in one account does not offer protection for both.
I have a meeting but will return in a few hours. If you post below I can respond when I return.
I was checking back to see if you had responded.
If my answer addressed your question please rate below or above (let me know if you have difficulty as I believe the system changed), if you need more information reply below.