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South Africa Law
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I leave in the Western Cape and last year my brother moved

Hi I leave in the...
Hi I leave in the Western Cape and last year my brother moved to the area where I lived. My mom is retired and she also moved here. My brother is 40 yrs old but isnt responsible. My mother has given R150k of her pension money to help him out but he just wastes it. He got a girlfriend here who eventually got fed up and kicked him out so he moved back to Johannesburg. He got a job for a while and then got laid off. Then he managed to get my mother to give him money to got to England. So she sponsored that trip. She has moved here with the expectation of me looking after her in her old age (she is currently 71). She has money but not a lot. I have tried to get her to cut him off financially because if she runs out, it will become my responsibility. He manipulates her and gets it right. He is lazy and irresponsible and doesn't help himself. I would like to know if there is anything I can do to protect myself, financially and emotionally from this situation? Can I get control of her accounts?
JA: Family law varies by state. What state are you in?
Customer: Western Cape of South Africa.
JA: Have you talked to a lawyer yet?
Customer: Not yet. I want to go but am not sure if I am wasting my time. It is not something easy to do, but I have just run out of patience for the situation and I think its a pattern that is not going to change. I want to protect myself but also her. Hes just lazy and always uses others, financially. Hes a grown man and shouldn't be doing this.
JA: Anything else you want the lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: Maybe that for the time that I have been here, I haven't had much contact with them because of this. Its being going on for a long time and the way I dealt with it was just to block it out. So I seek emotional and financial protection from this. I don't want her to give any more money to him and for everything that she sorry ...everything she has given him, I would like her to put it in her will. If there is something left of her estate when she passes, I must get what he got before it is split.
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Answered in 11 hours by:
9/11/2017
Freddie Lombard
Freddie Lombard, Attorney
Category: South Africa Law
Satisfied Customers: 2,700
Experience: Practicing attorney and conveyancer with 16 years post article experience.
Verified

Hi I'm Freddie,

Welcome to Just Answer. Thank you for your question. I am reviewing it now and will post a reply here ASAP.

Regards

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I am sorry to hear of your situation. It certainly does sound very unfair.

There are a few things to remember. First thing is that neither you, nor your brother is entitled to inherit anything from your mother. She has complete testimentary freedom and she can decide to give you something, everything or nothing. That is completely up to her. Will it be fair if your brother squanders your mother's money and then inherit as well, while you did not get any? Probably not, but, as I have said, it is your mother's money, and not the children's so, she can do with it as she pleases.

Now, while your mother is still alive, the same rule applies. Unless she is mentally incapable of looking after her own affairs, she can do with her money as it pleases, and you cannot get control of her accounts (unless she is of unsound mind) - in which case you will have to bring an application to be appointed as her curator.

I know that my answer might sound harsh, but it is not intended that way, and I in no way am blind to the emotional stress this situation causes. I also understand that your financial position is potentially directly influenced by this, because obviously, it will fall on you to take care of your mother if her funds run out. It seems like your brother is not going to help - or be able to help with that.

My only suggestion is that you must sit anstalk this trhough with your mother and explain your situation. Ask her give you some form of control over her accounts in order to protect her, because clearly, your brother is able to manipulate her (and if you can talk to her about this, she might see the light). That will then give her the comfort of not having to say NO to your brother, but she can say that she decided to appoint you to handle her affairs, and that he must ask you for money and not her.

I hope this answered your question.

I know it will take an extra minute of your time to rate my service, but if you do not rate it, I do not ge tpaid by the website so I would really appreciate it if you would be so kind as to rate my service positively. Feel free to ask further questions here on this topic at no extra cost if you need more information.

Regards

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Customer reply replied 2 months ago
Thank-you for the answer. But surely I have to have some rights here. I agree 100% that it is here money and sometimes she wants to give me some too but I have a conscience and am not able to. Still, she has moved here expecting me to take care of her when the time comes and I want to but not while she entertains his nonsense. Its impinging on me and surely I have rights. If she wants me to be the one to take her in if she has a stroke or she can no longer take care of herself, then I want her to stop funding his activities. If she doesn't want to stop, then I want to absolve any legal responsibility for her should something happen. She must rather move near to him and he must take care of her. Neither of them listen to me nor respect my position so thats why I would like it to come from a legal perspective ... basically My Way or the Highway. If she doesn't want to agree, I will respect it, but then I want to cut ties with them and move on with my life. Currently, she is here and if something happens, I will have to sort it out, not him. While he parties in London with her money, I will be carrying the can. Surely there is something in the law to protect me against this?

No, unfortunately there is nothing in the law that can protect you.

You have a moral obligation (and a legal duty) to look after your mother. You cannot force her to move back to Johannesburg (to be close to your brother), nor can you force her to stop giving him money.

When the time comes, and she needs assistance, you will have to help (and so will your brother) even if he is not able to.

Like I said, it is a very unenviable position you find yourself in.

If she wants to give you some money, take it, invest it in your name, for her benefit, so that when she runs out of money, you can then use that money to help her.

Sorry I cannot give you the answer you are looking for, but this is how it is.

Please remember to rate the answer positively.

Regards

Ask Your Own South Africa Law Question

Good afternoon,

This is just a quick note to follow up. Did you find my answer helpful? Is there anything else I can assist you with before you rate the service? Please note that I do not get paid if you do not rate.

Regards

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Christiaan K
Category: South Africa Law
Satisfied Customers: 147
Experience: Attorney & Director at Lombard Kotze Incorporated
Verified

I have noticed that you requested a new expert to assist you. Unfortunately I have read the previous posts and I agree fully with what Freddie has told you.

The only option you have available is:

1. Appoint a curator if she is unable to handle her own affairs;

2. Apply to court to declare your mother a "squanderer" and for the appointment of a curator bonis to look after her financial well-being;

3. Get your mother to give you some money that you can invest for her to ensure that she has some money left if things go south.

I am sorry but this is your only remedies for this complicated issue.

Please remember to rate the service.

Regards

Ask Your Own South Africa Law Question

.

Ask Your Own South Africa Law Question
Customer reply replied 2 months ago
Freddie, Christian, I have a friend who knows someone who was in a similar situation where the sibling was irresponsibly spending the mothers money. They were able to gain control of her accounts legally on the grounds of emotional manipulation by the problem sibling. The mother was not mentally incapable, just being manipulated. The law just came in to protect the mother and the other sibling. This is what I'm after and just need to know how to go about getting it. I want to stop my brother from wasting my mothers pension money, legally. Please tell me how.
Customer reply replied 2 months ago
Please respond to my last question.

Good day

I have received notification from the website admin that you have accidentilyopted-out of this question and I therefore did not get notified of your follow up question.

What you are referring to is basically what I mentioned in my post of 15 September 2017, point number 2.

Even if she does not squander the money on herself, she is letting hereself be manipulated against better judgment. To do this you will have to apply to court on notice of motion and you will have to convince the court that your mother needs to be protected against herself.

The court will not do this easily sinse you are taking someone, who is still capable from handling her own affairs, right away to do with her money as she pleases.

You will need to appoint an attorney who will draft the notice of motion and take an affidavit from you setting out the relevant evidence. Once this is done, the application will be served on your mother who will have the option to oppose it or not to oppose it. It is is opposed, she will also have to deliver an opposing affidavit and the matter will be decided on affidavit alone. No testimony will be required by anyone at the hearing. only the attorneys will argue the case.

Please remember to rate my service.

Regards

Christiaan K
Category: South Africa Law
Satisfied Customers: 147
Experience: Attorney & Director at Lombard Kotze Incorporated
Verified
Christiaan K and 87 other South Africa Law Specialists are ready to help you
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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
Thank you for the detail. I will talk to my mother first, ask her to give me informal decision making power at first ... tell my brother I'm handling her finances and he must ask me not her. I'm trying to protect her and me and make my brother realize he must grow up now. If my mother doesn't go for it willingly, I'll do what you said. I think it will feel daunting to her and she will rather just let me handle things (my main goal is to stop him from thinking it's ok to take her pension). I hope it doesn't get to this extreme point but for my own sanity I need to try and get control of the situation, one way or another. Thanks for your help.

My pleasure.

Please be so kind as to rate my servicepositively if you are satisfied as I do not get paid by Just Answer if you donot rate it positively, despite the fact that you have already paid the websitefor my services.

Kind regards

Ask Your Own South Africa Law Question

Thank you for the positive rating.

If you need my assistance again in future, you may request me personally at: http://www.justanswer.com/law/expert-Attorneyza/

Regards

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Christiaan K
Christiaan K
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Category: South Africa Law
Satisfied Customers: 147
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