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inciteadvisor, Commercial Lawyer
Category: South Africa Law
Satisfied Customers: 1610
Experience:  B.Com LLB Registered Corporate lawywer
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My hausband had an affair with a girl 13 years younger than

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My hausband had an affair with a girl 13 years younger than him. It was physical although I think her emotional attachment was greater than his. He broke it off with her and she threatened to tell me about their indiscretions. He told me and we decided for our two childrens sake that we needed to sort it out. We are currently going for counselling. As she was a supplier to my husbands company, I contacted the owner of the business and told her of the little tramps activities during work hours. She was fired and subsequently tried to commit suicide. She is still in hospital and we have no idea what condition she is in, but we are being threatened by her family. Her family met my husband and knew that he was married with two children and allowed their sexual activities to happen under their roof. If this girl dies, (it was suicide) could my husband or myself (for getting her fired) - well actually she got herself fired, reasonably be held responsable by her parents. Should we get a protection order as her parents are threatening us?
Welcome, thank you for the opportunity to address your question.

I need a bit more information in order to provide you with a comprehensive answer:
-In what way are her family harassing you or your family?
-Do you know first hand why she was fired?
-Was information shared with the employer done so in the strictest confidence; has the employer informed anyone as to the source of such information?
-Other than the information to the employer was there any further or protracted communication or meetings with this woman and yourself or husband?

Best regards,
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

As you can imagine, after 11 years with my husband, this caught me completely off guard. I saw messages from her on his phoned Sat 3 weeks ago, he moved out of the house on the Monday, moved in with his brother until last week Wednesday, when we met and he admitted that there was a relationship. At the time I did not consider to what extent. On Thursday morning he called her up told her he had gone back home and that he wanted to end all contact. She threatened to tell me about the actual extent of their relationship, that he has stayed over at her parents house, had sex in his office etc. He then called me up on Thursday afternoon and told me everything. I then confronted her. She (at still living with her parents, no obligations or responsibilities wanted to tell me how I botched up my marriage and how my husband is special and they love each other bla bla). I hung up as I told her that she is a child and actually does not know what she's talking about. I then sent her a message asking whether her parents are aware of the fact that she is having sex with a married man under their roof, she replied that they had met him and know about him. I then asked whether her boss knew? she did not reply. She is a rep, and called at my husband every afternoon at his office for the daily shag, they also went to her house during the day for sex. I mailed the owner of the business, her boss and told her of this girls activities. Her boss replied saying that it is certainly not their companies policy to condone such activities and that she will deal with it accordingly. I am in possession of this mail. On Friday evening, my husband got a whatsapp on his phone from a number not listed as a contact saying, look at what you have done to Chane, she has lost her job and tried to commit suicide we are on our way to the hospital. I replied from his phone saying - it was her decision, she knew he was married and had a family. We heard nothing until this morning, her mother left a hysterical message on my husbands phone saying he must pray she wakes up otherwise her and her husband will deal with him and his wife meaning us, we kept the messages as well. My fear is that if something happens to this girl, they may, in an emotional rage attack us, or harm my children. and if this girl recovers I think she is psycho enough to come after my family. And if she dies, could we be held accountable? It is a self inflicted action. She knew he was married, so did her parents and they allowed it to. For her to do something that stupid after a relationship that was a mere 7 weeks, is silly. I am possession of the mail I sent her boss, as I also deal with IR relations, I am well aware that there should have been some sort of disciplinary procedure followed. I think it had less to do with her job and more so with the breaking up. I also think that her release may have been aggravated by a combination of poor performance and other factors.

Thank you Skye for the further information provided.

No doubt a troubling experience and it is wise to seek a legal perspective on the matter.

From the information supplied, it seems the employer has acted with proper discretion in not revealing the content of any disciplinary process. One would never know what the ultimate cause of her dismissal was and as you speculate, it would unlikely be one thing or a first offence but rather a culmination of multiple aspects or repeat offences.

Unless there is clear evidence of harassment, stalking or intentional and unlawful denigration of her dignity, it would be very unlikely that a criminal complaint of crimen injuria could be substantiated by this woman against you. As you say, she is entirely responsible for her own actions. There could be grounds for a civil claim based on defamation if it can be shown that informing the employer was not in the public interest and that the woman in question had a legitimate right to privacy in that regard. The merits of succeeding would not be great.

As your husband had an intimate relationship with this woman, you could obtain a protection order in terms of the Domestic Violence Act against her personally if you can show that the domestic violence, threats or harassment by her family originated from her. In such a case the order would read that she is prohibited from certain domestic violence acts or from engaging her family to do certain acts on her behalf. If the family are doing so on their own initiative, as it seems in this case, it would not strictly fall within the ambit of the act as there is no domestic relationship between the parents and your family. If there is concerted harassment, stalking, or intentional undermining of your family's dignity and based on supported evidence, you may lodge a criminal complaint of crimen injuria.

I trust that the legal information provided is helpful in assessing your position. Once you have reviewed the answer provided, please let me know if clarification is required on any aspect. I am always happy to entertain any further questions to ensure you receive the answer you require. If you are satisfied, kindly rate my answer so that I may be given credit for the assistance provided to you.
Best regards,
inciteadvisor and other South Africa Law Specialists are ready to help you
Thank you for the positive rating provided.
Should you have any further legal questions on this or any other matter, please feel free to forward your question to me directly and I will look into your matter promptly.
All the very best,