Good afternoon Robert,
I'm Doug, and I'm sorry to hear of the confusion. My goal is to provide you with excellent service today.
The person in social security was flat out wrong. Under social security law, you are eligible to take a survivor benefit at age 60---regardless of whether your own benefit would be more if you were eligible to take it now, which you are not.
A survivor benefit is entirely separate from your retirement benefit and if you want, you can take a survivor benefit now and allow your own benefit to grow to age 70 if you wish.
Go back to social security----go to the local office----submit your marriage license, a copy of the death certificate for your wife and both of your social security numbers and they will process your survivor benefit application for you.
At 60 you will be eligible for 71.5% of the full retirement benefit that your wife would have been entitled to had she lived to age 66.
You may reply back to me using the Reply link and I will be happy to continue to assist you until I am able to address your concerns, to your satisfaction.
I hope that I have been able to fully answer your question. Please be so kind as to rate my service to you. That is the only way I am credited for assisting you.
I wish you and yours the best in 2016,