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JGM, Solicitor
Category: Scots Law
Satisfied Customers: 11281
Experience:  30 years as a practising solicitor.
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Hi, I have a 7 year old daughter and a 3 year old daughter

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I have a 7 year old daughter and a 3 year old daughter by 2 different men. They both see their children every 2nd weekend. The father of my 3 year has now left the army and has gone to a lawyer to ask if he can have her overnight on a Wednesday. I have agreed to let him have her until 7pm every Wednesday. I decided rather than go to a lawyer, I would respond to his lawyer myself. I had typed a reply to his lawyer and was going to post the letter on Monday. This morning, Saturday, I received a call from a mobile number I did not recognise. It was HIS lawyer!! I spoke with him but found the telephone call quite intimidating and distressing as he was asking me questions and not listening to what I was saying. Is it legal for my ex's lawyer to call me? He said it was to help resolve the issues.
When his lawyer was on the phone, he mentioned that my ex wanted more access i.e. Easter, Summer, October and Christmas. I said I was not agreeing to it because my other daughter (my 7 year old) does not go away at these times with her dad and my girls miss each other when they are apart. I also work fulltime so I really only get to spend 2 full days out of 14 with them. I try my best to send them away for holidays at the same time. Their dads currently get every 2nd weekend, every Wednesday until 7pm, 2 weeks Summer holidays and a few hours on Christmas Day then 26th December overnight.
If he took me to Court, would the court force me to give him all of the above access he is asking for i.e Easter and October?

Kind regards

A Wightman
Thank you for your question.

I have never heard of a situation where a lawyer has called someone like this and I would say that it is very unprofessional. I think you should see your own lawyer to deal with this man.

As far as contact is concerned there is no black and white answer as any court would have to look at all the circumstances. However, the age of your daughter and the fact that she has a sister who she misses are two factors against him getting extended contact at the moment. As she gets older, things might change.

Happy to discuss further.

I hope this helps. Please leave a positive response so that I am credited for my time.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thank you for a prompt response.

You have put my mind at ease and been a huge help as I cannot afford to go down the legal route at the moment.



You're welcome.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.



I have just received another lawyer's letter today regarding extended contact and my ex is requesting the following:-


2 weeks in the Summer holidays

1 week at Easter or October

Christmas Day (alternating between us each year)

1 week during Christmas holidays

The occasional long weekend for occasions such as a wedding or other family celebration


He currently gets his daughter every 2nd weekend, every Wednesday until 7pm, 2 weeks during the Summer and Christmas Day from 10am until 1pm and from 26th December to 27th December at 5pm. My other daughter (who has a different father) also goes away with her dad at these times.


His lawyer wants to draw up a legal agreement for the above.


What I would like to know is do I have to agree to this? If I don't then can he take me to court? Would this actually go to court because he already has regular contact?


I am finding this very difficult because I was left on my own from before she was born and now she is 3 years old, nearly 4, and now that he has left the army, he is all of a sudden asking for all the additional contact. I am now married and settled and my 2 daughters are very close to their stepdad. I am wondering if this has something to do with it, the fact that their stepdad spends more time and does more than he does.


I look forward to hearing from you and appreciate all your help in this matter.


Kind regards


Alison Wightman

You do not have to agree with this. It is open to him to take the matter to court and ask for more extensive contact. The court will take the best interests of the child, not him, as the paramount consideration.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

If he takes this to court, will I be liable for any court fees? I know I would have to cover my lawyer's costs.

You wouldn't be liable for his court costs as this would be a family action and unless you behave unreasonably the court would not find you liable for expenses.

You would however have to pay your own lawyers fees and outlays as you acknowledge.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

That's great, thank you again for your assistance.

You re welcome. Please leave positive feedback so that I am credited for my time.
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