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TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship Care
Satisfied Customers: 3433
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Wroker and Certified Professional Coach
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Not sure if the right category. My mother is an adult 50+ and

Customer Question

Not sure if the right category. My mother is an adult 50+ and takes care of grandma (her mom) 90+ years old. I take mom to the gym in the morning to work out and lose fat, feel better, and overall appearance has improved. Grandma is jealous since mom is not around to take care of her for the 3 hours we go to the gym together. We only do this 2-3 times a week. There is other people in the house but grandma has gotten use to mom. Mom never married and dad left her when i was born.
Mom feels bad and everyone around her tells her she should stop going to the gym. It makes grandma upset. I have no idea what to do as grandma does not like other daughters to take of her but prefers mom to do so. Everyone tells mom that grandma does not like her going to them gym because she might be flirting with other guys. Mom works her butt off when she goes with me. She goes from machine to machine and burns those calories off.
My question is what to do here? Grandma gets upset and everyone else makes mom upset because they tell her not to go to the gym and leave grandma alone. Mom has not grown into a full women because of her attachment to grandma. Grandma has also tell her not go out and meet other guys and even goes to see outside who she goes out with. Grandma gets so upset she gets stomach upset.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship Care
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 2 years ago.
Hi and welcome. As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with more than 20 years experience, I am here to support you.

It is a tough dynamic you are all in. It sounds to me like ti does your Mom a world of good to get out and care for herself which in turn gives her the strength to take care of her mom. Her Mom is used to her doing it all but that doesn't mean she must do it all, every minute. There are others around...yes, I hear you when you say grandma only wants your mom, but your mom can reassure her how much she loves her and needs to get some energy at the gym so she can be in her tip top shape emotionally to do her best taking care.

I am sorry to hear of the others giving your mom guilt...sounds like she does it all and certainly needs and deserves a break whether it be at the gym or elsewhere...and grandma is being cared for while she is gone and she has not been abandoned.

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