Recent Questions by Ms Chase

My girlfriend and I have a very tumultuous relationship. Our great times are truly great. We love each other and have a great time together. Our bad times, however, are disastrous. When a problem arises, I feel that she blows it to extremes and then tries to "beat me into submission." When I apologize, it's not the proper wording; should I make a genuine apology that she accepts, she will then continue to drill me and tell me how bad I am. I have told her constantly that I feel like the "bad dog" and I'm having my nose rubbed in a problem. I've asked her numerous times to work with me on problems, to try and step back and look at it as a team, but I consistently feel as though I'm shouldering the load of all of our problems...and it's hard, because we care for each other so much but I can't continue to feel like a doormat who needs to submit every time something comes up. What can I do? What books are out there? Help.

My girlfriend and I have a very tumultuous relationship. Our great times are truly great. We love each other and have a great time together. Our bad times, however, are disastrous. When a problem arises, I feel that she blows it to extremes and then tries to "beat me into submission." When I apologize, it's not the proper wording; should I make a genuine apology that she accepts, she will then continue to drill me and tell me how bad I am. I have told her constantly that I feel like the "bad dog" and I'm having my nose rubbed in a problem. I've asked her numerous times to work with me on problems, to try and step back and look at it as a team, but I consistently feel as though I'm shouldering the load of all of our problems...and it's hard, because we care for each other so much but I can't continue to feel like a doormat who needs to submit every time something comes up. What can I do? What books are out there? Help.

Are marriage counselors always set on keeping two people together? I have been married for 15 years and have been miserable for about 14 of them. We have two children. I am in love with another woman and have told my wife that I want a divorce. I have agreed to counseling only to protect my children, and am hoping the counselor will be able to also show my wife that we are not meant to be together. Is this realistic?