Recent Questions by S Ressler

How can you get over trust issues?

I met the love of my life a year ago and we both fell in love head over heals. I am separated for past 5 years and I had told him that the first day we talked. I, however, did not mention about a 1 yr live relationship I had a few years after my marriage broke down. I wanted to tell my partner but felt it was insignificant and later when I did feel I was ready to share, I was afraid that he would think I was hiding something on purpose by not telling him before. Well he did end up finding out about the live in relationship and didn't accept it too well due to insecurities. Even though I was never in love with the previous guy and parted ways on good terms. More so, he moved to another country. So for the past one year my partner sulks from time to time and doesn't talk properly to me for 3 to 4 days. Also he has judged me for being with another guy instead of trying to save my marriage etc etc. I have also retaliated very badly out of frustration to make him understand. We basically missed out on a year of happiness and I just found out that he has two daughters. He had mentioned the kids before but claimed they were not his as his partner at that was having an affair, until recently when I mustered the courage to check his phone and discovered it all. He hasn't spent much time with them and isn't attached to them. They live in another country. However, I know that he was here for their births and separated soon after. he made made up stories to cover this fact and swore that the kids were not his. I feel betrayed. He says he hid them out of fear of losing me and matches it to me not disclosing about an ex. But I feel that is absurd! I have been hurting for two weeks and he sulked again. I couldn't bear his childish behaviour anymore and slapped him. I am guilty and regret it. No one deserves to be slapped. But I feel so betrayed for last one year. He kept fighting with me over an ex who meant nothing when he has two kids! Was I right to slap him?

Second Opinion] I had an fiance many years ago and due to my studies I broke off the engagement. I am single. Recently he who is married peacefully has found me on the internet aND SAYS THAT HE LOVES BOTH ME AND HIS WIFE IN DIFFERENT WAYS. i STILL LOVE HIM TOO; BUT IT FEELS LIKE IT IS TOO LATE FOR US AS WE ARE BOTH IN OUR EARLY 70S. wHAT DO i DO? JA: The Psychologist will know what to do. Is there anything else the Psychologist should know before I connect you? Rest assured that they'll be able to help you. Customer: NO. THANKS