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Uy for 2 years basically. Last night he told me I’m the

Customer Question

Second opinion] uy for...

Second opinion] uy for 2 years basically. Last night he told me I’m the nicest girl he’s ever talked to and that I treat him better than any girl ever has but he doesn’t see us lasting forever. He says he doesn’t want to stop talking and he doesn’t want to stop seeing me and But that he doesn’t think how he feel will change. I love him what do I do?

Expert's Assistant: The Psychologist will know what to do. Is there anything else the Psychologist should be aware of?

He’s 23 I’m 19 I moved to his city for him and we’ve been on and off before last year

Submitted: 7 months ago.Category: Relationship

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Customer reply replied 7 months ago

However today I asked if we could hang out during my break at work and he said I could meet him at a store. He then asked me to get food with him so I went and we had a great time. We laughed and he said if I want to see him I can always ask but if he says no to not freak out and beg to see him. I usually beg and freak out if I can’t see him so at lunch tonight he mentioned seeing each other tonight. I went back to work and followed up and he responded with “sorry I just finished my work”. Since he didn’t answer if I could come over I didn’t want to be needy and beg so I asked how work went. Things feel the same though when we had lunch and he kissed me goodbye

Answered in 1 hour by:

1/8/2020

Counselor: Chelsea Wise, Marriage and Family Therapist replied 7 months ago

Chelsea Wise, Marriage and Family Therapist

Category: Relationship

Satisfied Customers: 807

Experience: Marriage Family Therapist at Kaiser Permanente

Verified

Hi there! This guy is sending you some pretty mixed messages: “I like you and want to keep seeing you, but don’t see a future here” is a pretty intense head game! Especially to say “you can keep seeing me if you want, but I’m not going to change how I feel” feels very much like a manipulation. I don’t think this guy loves you back, and I don’t think he has your best interests at heart here. I would recommend that you end the relationship now, before you get even more attached and it’ll be even harder to hear that he is fine to keep casually dating forever, but isn’t interested in a commitment.

Customer reply replied 7 months ago

Is it possible for him to change how he feels if I give him space to think about what he really wants?

Counselor: Chelsea Wise, Marriage and Family Therapist replied 7 months ago

It’s certainly possible, but I wouldn’t put all your eggs in that basket. It sounds like he’s been pretty upfront about what he wants - all the benefits of a relationship without actually *being* in a relationship, and so I think truly the only way he may change is to face the consequences of his actions, which is to lose you because he wasn’t willing to commit.

Customer reply replied 7 months ago

That’s a good point honestly I’m 19 HES 23 and this is my first relationship. I feel like I depend on him way too much and don’t know who I am without him

Counselor: Chelsea Wise, Marriage and Family Therapist replied 7 months ago

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