I caught my wife in an emotional affair with her friend. it…

I caught my wife in an emotional affair with her friend. it was at the point of telling each other they love one another, naked pictures and a kiss. She has told me she does not want to loose me and wants to work on our marriage she. i have had an adderall addiction for a few years now. she also has adderall script. after she confessed the affair to me, i confesed i had stolen adderall out of her purse around 5 time i our 8 years. she had accoused me of this in the past and i denied it at several diffrent times. She is justifing her affair now saying how i hurt is the same way that she now hurts. I have agreed to give her a second chance but the only way i will do that is if she cut ties with the man shes having an affair with. she refuses to do it and has openly said she is still communicating with him but she doesn't need to remove him at this point because shes not going to take demands form me. she said she will do it on her own time. Also moving forward. i told if she wants to move forward she need to cut ties and stop blaming the affair on me. i have told her her my issues will be addressed in our journey. she refused to remove him from her life. we also own a house and have 2 children any incite on our issues?