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How do i get my ex back. We broke up because we had a
we broke up because we had a problem that neither of us could figure out and he was tried of trying and nothing working. The problem was that we got annoyed with each other for little things and that the time we spent together was boring. We couldn't identify the problem in the relationship but after I identified it and realized the root of it was that we never had anytime separate. I ended up telling him this. We mutually split and then right after I told him that I messed up and actually want to be with him. I kind of pleaded and begged for like a week and reached out to a lot of our mutual friends asking them if we still had a chance which ended up getting back to him I did not contact him for the second week but then he contacted me to check in twice and we ended up having a face to face where he basically said we were done and that he misses something just doesn't know if that's me or having that person and he also said that he doesn't dislike me and still cares about me and i told him i can't have you reaching out to me it just hurts me and all that stuff and then we decided that i would come to him when i was ready to be friends. He ended up texting a few day Iater i was very short with answers and didn't reply when I didn't need to and he ended up double texting me. a few days later I texted him to see how he was doing he said good and then I ended up asking him why he kept reached out when we agreed I would reach out when I was ready and when he knew it hurt me he said IDK. I texted him again a few days later and apologized for being rude and aggressive to him he said it was ok he just didn't feel like talking cause it hurt him to. I told him that I still wanted to be with him and he said good night. The next day he reached out seeing if he could come to my room to sign a paper and then the next day to see if he could come golfing with me and a bunch of our mutual friends. I said ok to see if I was ready to be friends but I wasn't. After the hangout I texted him and said I was not ready to be friends and that if he didn't want to be with me i couldn't have him reaching out. he said i'm sorry i sent you mixed signals i just wanted to be friends i won't contact you anymore. Then later that night he texted me to hook up. I said yes but before we did it we agreed to become friends with benefits. We set all these boundaries and then we ended it 48 hrs later because our friends found out and he claimed there to be too much drama. Yesterday I texted him to meet up to try and figure out our problems. He said i don't think we do and I said yes we do because you have been sending me mixed signals since day one and then when i told you i was done you reached out to have sex and agreed to be friends with benefits but then did a 180. he got very defensive and said my mistake sorry I know your crying to our mutual friends rn because of your emotions. I said no im crying because im frustrated and he said because of your emotions i said no because you have been sending me mixed signals since day one and he said im f**king sorry i should have listened to every one when they said to cut off all communication we can't talk anymore. … read more
S Ressler
S Ressler
Doctor of Psychology (PsyD)
729 satisfied customers
My boyfriend broke up with me exactly a week ago today. I
My boyfriend broke up with me exactly a week ago today. I was very insecure in the relationship because I had something I was scared to lose (him) so every little thing that bothered me, I would over … read more
S Ressler
S Ressler
Doctor of Psychology (PsyD)
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I was dating a guy for a month and and things were going
Hi. I was dating a guy for a month and and things were going amazing. He was planning trips for us and we had great conversations and just had a strong connection. After a month he said he can't be in a relationship ROGHT NOW because he'll be traveling a lot and gone a lot and he didn't think that would be fair to me. He told me that I will see him again and that I can call him. A week later he called me to tell me that he got a job and he was excited to tell me about that. He told me to call him after work so I did, but he didn't answer. The next day he called me back, left me a voicemail and said I can call him back whenever. I never call back (this was two weeks ago) because I feel like he might want space. He still likes my Instagram pics and comments on them, but should I call him back? I still really like him, but everything was left up in the air I just don't know what he wants. He told me he's very happy with me and said I'm perfect for him, he just can't be in a relationship “right now”. What should I do? … read more
John-Michaels
John-Michaels
Counselor
Master's Degree
902 satisfied customers
I just broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. We were
I just broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. We were supposedly getting married. I wake him up the day of our wedding, he started crying and told me everything is happening so fast, he thinks he is no… read more
John-Michaels
John-Michaels
Counselor
Master's Degree
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I need advice, The relationship I had with my ex boyfriend
The relationship I had with my ex boyfriend (Eric) ended after 3 1/2 years last week. Eric said I was emotionally unstable at times, so he encouraged me to go to counseling so we could have a lonnfg and healthy future together. So I scheduled an appointment and mentally prepared myself for the journey.We got into a argument that quickly escalated through text messages one night, after a very peaceful and loving day. I take responsibility for it ending. As the fight intensified, he was trying to defuse it. He was reassuring me that he “loved me” and our relationship could “succeed”. But I didn't stop provoking and I didn't stop making unsavory comments.Finally, he messaged me back with “then this relationship is over”...The next day (and I am ashamed of this) I begged him to call me so we could talk about it. He said there was nothing to communicate. After a series of texts pleading (again not proud of this) and sappy messages he picked up my call.He told me he was hurt by my words and felt I was emotionally unstable. He said he believed he could show me emotional stability, but after our fight he said that was my own battle and he couldn't help me. He said he forgives me and loves me but was done and I was probably never going to hear from him again.He said he didn't know if I'd ever hear from him again several times throughout the conversation, actually... that he love me but doesn't want a relationship anymore, you know, typical break up stuff I'll spare you the details.But by the end of our 2 hour phone conversation, he said he wanted to hear all about my counseling sessions. He said because he cares about my personal growth. He even wants to know the set backs in my personal growth. Anything else there was to talk about in the future is irrelevant.We both travel a lot, and we have gotten a plane ticket to come visit me July 11th. I asked what's going to happen to the ticket? he said he didn't know if he'd be ready to see me but he'll let me know ...He seemed emotionless about the breakup and completely fine he was losing me. Matter of fact, he spent the weekend golfing and going to the bars with some friends.Fast forward; we've kept communication everyday to maybe 1-2 texts, Ive been sending the first texts (once more, not proud). I told him I had been to a couple counseling sessions and would like to tell him how they went. He called me to talk about the counseling session but I missed it. The next day when I was going to call him back he said he wasn't comfortable speaking on the phone Yet and I could text it. So I asked him if texting made him comfortable or if he would just prefer 0 contact? Then he said that he only wants to text on and off, and only about my counseling sessions, and that's IT. then he ended the conversation.My big dilemma is in 2 weeks I have made arrangements before the breakup to spend the weekend with him and his family in Bermuda as a surprise, because he has been inviting me to Bermuda for 3 years. After we broke up I told him I had made those travel arrangements (tickets, time off work, etc). He said that he doesn't know if he'll be comfortable with it or not because it's in the future, but because money was already invested I can still go and stay with him and his family.So here are my questions....Should I lose all the money and not go? Or is the fact that I haven't been uninvited a good thing? I don't know how it'll be staying with his family.He said he'd think about the trip in July to see me, should I just wait it out and see if he comes? I'm worried if I don't go, he'll figure he shouldn't come see me and my family in July.Should I just go straight into no contact NOW, and forget the trips? And hope he reaches out someday? Maybe it'll show him I'm gaining control over my emotional stability (which I am, thanks to counseling and really reflecting on myself.)I've definitely been overbearing in the past, and I've begged and pleaded. He beg … read more
LeahLMSW
LeahLMSW
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Master's Degree
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My boyfriend cheated on me with his ex wife. He says it's
My boyfriend cheated on me with his ex wife. He says it's because his kids weren't warming up to me as quickly as he thought they would. When I was introduced to them they weren't happy about it becau… read more
TherapistJen
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I have been in a relationship with this guy for 2 years and
I have been in a relationship with this guy for 2 years and we know that we love each other. The issue is that we squabbled a lot and very frequently over these years. I noticed myself that I have bec… read more
John-Michaels
John-Michaels
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I need advice about a possible insecurity I have. Well
Well there's this girl that constantly talks to my boyfriend on Snapchat and at one point had a streak with him before he deleted his app. And then it turned into her pretty much liking everything he posts on social media. I guess the story goes that this girl was his friend in high school and had got into this 2 year abusive relationship with a guy and had a kid with him and then they broke up and she got all her social media back and started talking/venting to my boyfriend everyday. And when I found out I got really upset causing a fight between my boyfriend and I. And now since he's redownloaded the Snapchat app she's began to talk to him all the time again and he won't cut off communication with her even though he knows it bothers me and just says “we're just friends I'm not gonna stop being friends with someone because you're insecure” and I'm at a loss of what to do. I get major anxiety over this and constantly think they're talking to each other on a daily basis when I don't know that for sure. She was out of his life for 2 years and now all of a sudden is back. They don't have a romantic past by any means they've just known each other since high school. I just don't know if I had anxiety and just over think it or if I'm being completely valid in my feelings … read more
Carlett F
Carlett F
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My girlfriend of almost a year broke up with me. He said it
My girlfriend of almost a year broke up with me. He said it wasn't anything I did. She's an international student and she just got home from winter break. I tried to give her some time but I could onl… read more
TherapistJen
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My relationship question is about my boyfriend who's
Hello. My relationship question is about my boyfriend who's currently still deployed overseas … read more
John-Michaels
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I was dating a 35 year old woman for a month. We sort of new
I was dating a 35 year old woman for a month. We sort of new each other from years back. When we had our first date was instAnt chemistry and from there is was really good and natural. I met her famil… read more
John-Michaels
John-Michaels
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My boyfriend has depression, sleeps most of the time, is
My boyfriend has depression, sleeps most of the time, is awake when I'm not with him, doesn't want to sleep in the same bed because he wants to stretch out, be alone, and most recently tells me that I… read more
John-Michaels
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I have been with my now ex boyfriend for almost 4 years and
I have been with my now ex boyfriend for almost 4 years and he wanted some space about 5 months ago - he lived with me and moved out and got his own place … read more
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jen, So I allowed my boyfriend to come with me to my
HI jen, So I allowed my boyfriend to come with me to my personal session with my counselor last weekend. And since then, he has been distant on and off. He says I don't give him space but when I try, … read more
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I have met this guy in July 2011. I had to admit we both have
I have met this guy in July 2011. I had to admit we both have feelings each other when we first met in beauty shop. This guy name David. He took initiative approaching to me and asking me advice about… read more
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Hi, I have been dating my boyfriend for about 4 years now.
Hi, I have been dating my boyfriend for about 4 years now. It's been so Hard ? I have been thru so much crap with him and his Family, but i've stood by him this whole time because I love him, and I kn… read more
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i am dating a man that his divorce commenced begining of december
i am dating a man that his divorce commenced begining of december he had a chat with a mutual friend of ours and he said his heart has been broken and he needs time to heal his friend advised me to pu… read more
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I really dont know what to do anymore I have this best
I really don't know what to do anymore… I have this best friend. We met about 2 years ago in class. We hit it off from the beginning. I've always been a private person and the more I got to know him, … read more
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Jennifer
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