Iv been in a relation ship for 9 years. Today was a very…

Hello,

After 9 years somewhere along the way your relationship has become a little stagnant or something is missing. Your partner has probably found new excitement in meeting and chatting with these other guys. As far as you know it has not gone any further than that. Your relationship can be restored.

You must confront her but not in a confrontational way. You do not want to start an argument or cause defensiveness...you want to ask her what do she feel caused her to desire to begin talking to other men. Just ask that question, then be quiet and let her speak. This will open up a dialogue that can lead to healing and mending in the relationship if handled delicately.

I also suggest couples counseling...

Does this make sense?

Carlett

You cant, Trust is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. You must, You must both want to and be willing to do the "Work" of fixing what is broken......Only if she will work on this with you, can you ever trust her again. I'm Sorry.

This does not have to be going to counseling, but could also be just the two of you discussing this as I suggested earlier and then working on it together.

Viewing relationship material together, DVDs, books and workbooks

Seminars.

All of these are ways to heal and work on your relationship.

If you know that there are areas of brokenness within yourself that you need to address and that have possibly contributed to the breakdown in the relationship, Please focus on these in the meantime. More importantly than restoring the relationship between you and her is restoring the relationship you have with yourself.

Let me know if this resonate with you...

You will make her the happiest when you are able to offer her the best version of yourself. That means you doing the "work" to become the best version of yourself.

You have got to tend to "You" while working on her and the relationship.