Relationship

Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Me and my ex fiance have separated the relationship really…

Customer Question
Me and my ex fiance...
Me and my ex fiance have separated the relationship really unofficially ended 14 months ago he never broke up with me in the history of the 4 Yeats we were together we are not in each others lives he doesn't call or explain anything but still says I love you and sends me money from time to time what do you think is really going on?
Submitted: 3 months ago.Category: Relationship
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Answered in 7 hours by:
3/29/2018
Counselor: Carlett F, Counselor replied 3 months ago
Carlett F
Carlett F, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 64
Experience: Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice
Verified

Hello! Welcome to JustAnswer. Thank you for your question. I’mCustomerLPC and I can help you today. I'll be back shortly with my reply!

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Counselor: Carlett F, Counselor replied 3 months ago

Hello,

I believe that what may be going on here is that your ex fiance really does still love you and he is still concerned for your needs which is why he sends you money. However, the circumstances surrounding your breakup prevents you from remaining in a relationship, at least currently.

Sometimes a relationship with someone is just not possible for whatever reason, it does not mean we stop loving the other person or caring for them.

Have you reached out to him to ask him why he is saying I love you and sending you money? If not, it may be a good idea to call him just to satisfy your need to know. There may even be a chance that the relationship is really not over and that the two of you just needed some time apart.

I suggest you consider reaching out, at least once. Otherwise you will never know.

I hope this helps..best regards

Carlett

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Counselor: Carlett F, Counselor replied 3 months ago

My goal is to provide you with excellent service. If you're satisfied with my assistance, your 5-star rating at this time is appreciated. If you have any further questions, don't hesitate to ask!

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 3 months ago
Well I did ask him why he walked out of my life and he says if I don't know he's not gonna tell me changes the subject gets mad and I've been asking for 14 months I don't know what to think or how to feel with these mixed signals
Counselor: Carlett F, Counselor replied 3 months ago

Ok, I see,

Given this additional information, my assessment would be that he is a Controller. He probably has always been controlling in the relationship. Now that the relationship is over, he wants to control you emotionally by refusing to explain his dismissive behavior, using anger and probably aggression. To keep you hanging on and prevent you from moving on, he turns around and send you sweet "I love you" messages and money. He wants it both ways, no commitment to you but yet still have access to you through your mind and heart. You can not allow him to continue to manipulate you like this. This is both Manipulative and Abusive ( emotionally).

My suggestion is that you first recognize this for what it is, then cut him off entirely...Its been 14 months, that's over a year. He is not going to tell you why he broke it off so stop asking him. You are not going to always get closure from the other person like you should...sometimes we have to give ourselves closure. Make up in your mind and heart that it is ok... obviously he is not the man for you, If he was, he would have communicated his feelings, problems, issues to you like a mature man 14 months ago with the goal of working on your relationship to make it better. He did not do that instead he left knowing he would leave you confused and hurting. Do not allow him to continue to play with you. There really is only one signal here that you should pay attention to, that is that he is "Full of It". You need to go " No Contact" and if he sends you any more money, send it back. That will shake up his game big time.

Finally, I want to suggest that you go on YouTube and search for " Narcissist" and "Narcissistic abuse". I cant say for sure that he is one, but his behavior as it relates to how he is treating you sure lines up with that of the Narcissistic male in a relationship.... They are notorious for just up and leaving their partners, but yet not freeing them completely.

I hope this helps.... Carlett

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Counselor: Carlett F, Counselor replied 3 months ago

Hello,

I did not receive a response after my last post to you, I hope it helped. Do you have any further questions about this I can help you with?

Carlett

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Counselor: Carlett F, Counselor replied 2 months ago
This answer is protected
Would you like to ask this question?
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.
Was this answer helpful?

How JustAnswer works

step-image
Describe your issueThe assistant will guide you
step-image
Chat 1:1 with a counselorLicensed Experts are available 24/7
step-image
100% satisfaction guaranteeGet all the answers you need
Ask Carlett F Your Own Question
Carlett F
Carlett F
Carlett F, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 64
64 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice

Carlett F is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

TherapistMaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn

Counselor

1,744 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues

Ms Chase

Ms Chase

Life Coach

853 satisfied customers

Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Psychotherapist

468 satisfied customers

Specializing in relationship/family counseling

Dr. Norman Brown

Dr. Norman Brown

Marriage Therapist

427 satisfied customers

Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples

DrJackiePhD

DrJackiePhD

Doctor

385 satisfied customers

I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

366 satisfied customers

Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.

Suzanne

Suzanne

Therapist, LCSW

338 satisfied customers

Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

< Previous | Next >

Related Relationship Questions
I have never been in a serious relationship until almost 5
I have never been in a serious relationship until almost 5 years ago. I am a single mom of a almost 13 yr old and for the first 8 years, it was just my son and I. The guy I have been dating has a prob… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
961 satisfied customers
My fiance and I have been together 7 years, engaged 3 years
My fiance and I have been together 7 years, engaged 3 years ago. We lived at my townhouse for 4 1/2 years and moved to his rancher 1 1/2 years ago. I hesitated for 2 years about the idea of moving. Af… read more
Dr. Z
Dr. Z
Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
1,006 satisfied customers
Fiance is hoarding pics of his ex? What does this mean? About
Fiance is hoarding pics of his ex? What does this mean? About six months ago, my fiance of three years found a bunch of old air force photos from about seven years ago at his parents house, and brough… read more
TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn
Counselor
Master's Degree
1,744 satisfied customers
Hi, Ive been friends with someone for 24 years and weve had
Hi, I've been friends with someone for 24 years and we've had an on and off sexual history most of that time but we've never been single at the same time. We are both now single, 10 weeks for him and … read more
SREED177
SREED177
Family Resource Specialist
Master\u0027s Degree
6 satisfied customers
I started a relationship with my good friend and roommate.
I started a relationship with my good friend and roommate. We were not official but we lived together slept together and hung out all the time for the past 3 months. He told me he had feelings for me … read more
Dear Debra
Dear Debra
Advice Columnist
Earning Associate degree
1,299 satisfied customers
Just over a year ago I asked my live in boyfriend of 5 plus
Just over a year ago I asked my live in boyfriend of 5 plus years to leave for the night after an argument and a difficult few months. He didn't move back in saying he had to follow the path he was no… read more
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
Master\u0027s Degree
3,517 satisfied customers
Hi, Me and my fiance are having problems. We have recently
Hi, Me and my fiance are having problems. We have recently bought a house together, are engaged and are expecting our first baby, so things should be perfect. We have overcome one issue recently where… read more
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
Master\u0027s Degree
3,517 satisfied customers
Greetings! My story is somewhat long, but I will try to be
Greetings! My story is somewhat long, but I will try to be as concise as possible. Basically, I was in an almost six-year relationship with my high school sweetheart, a relationship that was pretty un… read more
Dr. Norman Brown
Dr. Norman Brown
Marriage Therapist
Doctoral Degree
427 satisfied customers
Hello, Me and my fiance have been together 3 years, lived
Hello, Me and my fiance have been together 3 years, lived with each other for 2, and engaged for 4 months. I thought we were happy. She has now said she is unhappy and needs to move from our house in … read more
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
Master\u0027s Degree
3,517 satisfied customers
Were ages 48 and 59. My boyfriend lives in a different state
We're ages 48 and 59. My boyfriend lives in a different state and visits me about once a month. We've been dating for 8 months and have fallen in love (I have for sure; he says so). We're both from sa… read more
Dear Debra
Dear Debra
Advice Columnist
Earning Associate degree
1,299 satisfied customers
Hi Dr. Keane, Im engaged and getting married in 2 months.
Hi Dr. Keane, I'm engaged and getting married in 2 months. My fiance and I dated for about 9 months before getting engaged. We have had a few dates and have rescheduled several times at my request. Fi… read more
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
Master\u0027s Degree
3,517 satisfied customers
Hi, I am so upset/confused!! I have been with my fianc
Hi, I am so upset/confused!! I have been with my fiancé for a year now and he proposed to me in June. The relationship started a bit rocky as he lied to me on a couple of occasions 1st one being in th… read more
Suzanne
Suzanne
Therapist, LCSW
Master's Degree
338 satisfied customers
I am still in love with my ex-husband. We were together for
I am still in love with my ex-husband. We were together for 13 years and married for six, and when we first separated I told him that I would always love him. I hurt him, though, because I cheated on … read more
KimberlyF
KimberlyF
High School or GED
554 satisfied customers
Me and my fiance have been together 2 years and over the last
Me and my fiance have been together 2 years and over the last year have been facing problems he has 2 sons from his first marriage who find it very hard to accept me his eldest who is 8 is always rude… read more
KimberlyF
KimberlyF
High School or GED
554 satisfied customers
My husband is coming to see me in a couple of days, just for
My husband is coming to see me in a couple of days, just for a few hours, this is the first time we have seen each other in a couple of months. We split up four months ago but he's been trying to spli… read more
KimberlyF
KimberlyF
High School or GED
554 satisfied customers
I am engaged, i have been with my fiance for 4 years. A ...
I am engaged, i have been with my fiance for 4 years. A few weeks ago I ran into some old friends and also my ex, they asked me to hang out with them and I did, its been very long since I have seen th… read more
KimberlyF
KimberlyF
High School or GED
554 satisfied customers
MY BOYFRIEND AND I HAVE BEEN LIVING TOGETHER FOR OVER 14 ...
MY BOYFRIEND AND I HAVE BEEN LIVING TOGETHER FOR OVER 14 MONTHS. A COUPLE WEEKS AGO HE TOLD ME HE WAS NOT HAPPY LIVING WITH ME AND DOES NOT THINK WE CAN CARRY ON LIVING TOGETHER. HIS MAIN COMPLAINTS W… read more
KimberlyF
KimberlyF
High School or GED
554 satisfied customers
i am in a new relationship for a month now we are hitting
I am in a new relationship for a month now. we are hitting it off perfectly. problem is his ex fiance still calls him and comes over to his house. he keeps communicating with her and when we discuss i… read more
Lindie
Lindie
Healthcare Expert
3,144 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x