Relationship

Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Its sort of a story but I am feeling so down right now

Customer Question
Its sort of a...

Its sort of a long story but I am feeling so down right now because I just found out the true extend of my boyfriends cheating last night. He doesnt know I know and I'm just crushed right now

Expert's Assistant: The Psychologist will know what to do. Please tell me everything you can so the Psychologist can help you best.

So I was dating this guy, we'll call him John for now, for 8 years. We started off as great friends and spent every minute we could together. I could tell this man everything. He was there for me during the tough times, as well as the good. Our sex life was great, we were very compatible there. I will note that we waited a good year before our first time intimate together, which to me always felt like a solid foundation to our relationship. He loved me for me, not just for the sex. Things were amazing.When we first started out we we still in our early 20's, and it meant so much to me that we were there for each other when neither of us really had anything. We were both just starting out really. So we didnt love each other for material things.We were together for so many of lifes special moments; every holiday, birthday, all the family events, I can even remember the birth of his 1st neice who is now 10. I know that doesnt sound like a long time but its been my longest relationship.During the early years there were a few incidents that came into question in respect to my boyfriends fidelity. I can remember leaving his apartment to go home and there was a girl sitting on the curb outside just looking at her phone. As I was walking to my car I had to walk past her and she asked me if I knew what time it was. It didnt hit me until right as I was saying the time to her after I had looked at my own phone, that she didn't need to know the time at all. I thought this was very weird, so when I got home I called John but he wouldn't answer.. Told me the next day he had fallen asleep. It just didn't sit right because when I left he wasn't tired at all.. So 20 mins later? And I couldnt shake the feeling she was going to see him. Just waiting outside until I left. But not wanting to come across as the insecure girlfriend I never said a word about it to him. I felt he was sincere in his love at that point. After all, what if I was wrong? You know what they say about people who assume. I shook it off, telling myself he would never be able to. I was always there right? How would he get away with it and me not find out? So I left it alone.We did everything together, always out and about visiting new restaurants, attractions, concerts, unique things that built memories. His buddies would come over to visit him at his place, (We maintained separate residences.. Getting to that) and we all got along great. For the first 6-7 years of our relationship he didnt drive and didnt have a car. I worked full time and would stay pretty much every night and drop him at work early before I went home to get ready for work myself. It didnt matter to me, we were so in love. I would have done anything for this man.He moved to another place just down the street, and I helped him move. Didn't see anything out of place while packing or unpacking. Just the norm guy stuff. We maintained the same fire we had in the beginning of our relationship during this time as well. I was sure this guy was the one for me at that time. Then another incident. I went to pick him up from work, as he and I had discussed the entire time I'm on my way to him job to get him. I wore this super sexy dress and was just killing it. We had been sexting all day! It was not a surpise to him. When I arrive I park in the back and wait patiently. He worked in a restaurant so sometimes they don't get out right on time. Well about half hour passed and I saw one of his best friends come outside for a break, one of the friends we hung out with. Went to amusement parks with, took to concerts with us and stuff, and i called over to him from my car to ask if John was done yet, and he looked really confused. He said, John left a long time ago? I tried my very best not to let my feeling show to him, but we both knew something was off. I immediately had that gut feeling. I somehow KNEW before I even put that car in gear he had a girl at his house. I tried soooo hard to swallow this completely crazy

Expert's Assistant: Is there anything else important you think the Psychologist should know?

That's all

Submitted: 4 months ago.Category: Relationship
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Answered in 8 minutes by:
3/19/2018
Counselor: TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC replied 4 months ago
TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3,891
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Verified
This answer is protected
Would you like to ask this question?
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.
Was this answer helpful?

How JustAnswer works

step-image
Describe your issueThe assistant will guide you
step-image
Chat 1:1 with a counselorLicensed Experts are available 24/7
step-image
100% satisfaction guaranteeGet all the answers you need
Ask TherapistJen Your Own Question
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3,891
3,891 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker

TherapistJen is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

TherapistMaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn

Counselor

1,744 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues

Ms Chase

Ms Chase

Life Coach

853 satisfied customers

Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Psychotherapist

468 satisfied customers

Specializing in relationship/family counseling

Dr. Norman Brown

Dr. Norman Brown

Marriage Therapist

427 satisfied customers

Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples

DrJackiePhD

DrJackiePhD

Doctor

385 satisfied customers

I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

366 satisfied customers

Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.

Suzanne

Suzanne

Therapist, LCSW

338 satisfied customers

Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

< Previous | Next >

Related Relationship Questions
I need help. My husband(Bill) has a woman (Sue) who works
I need help. My husband(Bill) has a woman (Sue) who works for him and they are close. There is another man (John) who also works with them. The three are a team. Lately Sue and her husband (Rich) have… read more
TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn
Counselor
Master's Degree
1,744 satisfied customers
My husband has diagnosed me with bpd, and I have been in counseling
My husband has diagnosed me with bpd, and I have been in counseling for over a year trying to deal with his drinking, abuse and problems from his previous marriage and children. He is an amazing busin… read more
Rafael-E-Therapist
Rafael-E-Therapist
Director / Psychotherapist
Master\u0027s Degree
438 satisfied customers
I have been with my fiancé for 4 years. We have a 1 1/2 yo-
I have been with my fiancé for 4 years. We have a 1 1/2 yo- he will be two in Feb. Since our son has been born he has been obsessed with getting me to sleep with another man while he Skype's (WATCHES)… read more
Jen Helant
Jen Helant
Bachelor\u0027s Degree
1,254 satisfied customers
Okay, so here it is. I started a new job at a restaurant as
Okay, so here it is. I started a new job at a restaurant as a chef and im 20 years old. I met this great guy who is a server there(Hes 33). We got to talking and we went out on a date. It was great an… read more
Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark
Doctoral Degree
129 satisfied customers
my ex were together on and off for 5 years, we have a two year
my ex were together on and off for 5 years, we have a two year old daughter together. When i got together with him i knew he had been involved in some drug taking (mainly weed) and he knew i didn't li… read more
Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige
Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
847 satisfied customers
. I met a guy online in November, weve spent hours chatting
. I met a guy online in November, we've spent hours chatting and not much time together; 5 dates, but I've really fallen for him. He is a great guy, we get on well, have fun and laugh, he seems very t… read more
Jen Helant
Jen Helant
Bachelor\u0027s Degree
1,254 satisfied customers
Well Ive seeked advice on here before for really the same
Well I've seeked advice on here before for really the same thing but haven't really done anything with it and thought if write again to gain some advice From my previous post and as backgrounder I'm 2… read more
Howard Wise
Howard Wise
Master's Degree
223 satisfied customers
OK so there is this guy named Wade, we went to middle and high
OK so there is this guy named Wade, we went to middle and high school together so i knew who was but we were never friends just classmates in gifted classes. We ended up adding each other on facebook … read more
Jen Helant
Jen Helant
Bachelor\u0027s Degree
1,254 satisfied customers
i have been in a relationship for 18yrs we were seperated for
i have been in a relationship for 18yrs we were seperated for 3 yrs and now trying to work things out. obviously he had a girlfriend or two during that 3 yrs seperation but now we have been living tog… read more
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
Master\u0027s Degree
3,517 satisfied customers
I recently got married, moved to California with my husband.
I recently got married, moved to California with my husband. I only knew him for 6 months before we got married. We didnt even date. He came home from Afghan in Feb and asked me to marry him. I was he… read more
Dr.Kappler
Dr.Kappler
Clinical Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
896 satisfied customers
If a couple has been separated for 1.5 years. They have 3.5
If a couple has been separated for 1.5 years. They have 3.5 years daughter. Reason of marriage is pregnancy. Married for 3.5 years. They decided to reunite. How likely is their reuniting to work?… read more
Dear Debra
Dear Debra
Advice Columnist
Earning Associate degree
1,299 satisfied customers
Hi, I had been seeing a guy for about 3 months, when he said
Hi, I had been seeing a guy for about 3 months, when he said to me that he felt 'something' was missing and he needed to think over our relationship, I reacted to this by saying that if he needed to t… read more
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
Master\u0027s Degree
3,517 satisfied customers
why does my ex boyfriend continue to ride by m by house 3-5
why does my ex boyfriend continue to ride by m by house 3-5 times a day? We quit seeing each other about 1 year ago, & it's as if he's just checking to see if I have moved on or not.… read more
Jennifer
Jennifer
School Psychologist
Master's Degree
396 satisfied customers
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years.
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. We broke up last year for about 7 months and he started dating someone else. When he broke up with her, bc he realized he wanted to be with me… read more
Ms Chase
Ms Chase
Life Coach
853 satisfied customers
I met one of my brothers friends last yr there was instant
I met one of my brother's friends last yr there was instant chemistry. Because he was my older brother's friend we had this silent agreement not to draw attention to ourselves or swap numbers, kept ou… read more
KimberlyF
KimberlyF
High School or GED
554 satisfied customers
hi my husband and i just recently got a blow to our
my husband &got a blow to our relationship. he went to see a lady friend of ours&her husband but he wasnt home. he started asking her personal questions, which the lady thought was 2invasive on her pr… read more
Ms Chase
Ms Chase
Life Coach
853 satisfied customers
How do I get my boyfriend to understand that I was raped
How do I get my boyfriend to understand that I was raped? He keeps saying that I cheated because I didnt report it to the cops! What do I do? This is really bothering me because I am not that type of … read more
Ms Chase
Ms Chase
Life Coach
853 satisfied customers
My boyfriend and I have a kid together. We lived together ...
My boyfriend and I have a kid together. We lived together for about 5 months then he kicked me and my son out. He took the car and left me stranded. He lies alot and he seems to be happier now that we… read more
KimberlyF
KimberlyF
High School or GED
554 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x