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My fiance got really drunk. We had a designated driver to go…

My fiance got really...

My fiance got really drunk. We had a designated driver to go home but whole he was in the back seat of the vehicle he attempted to rub another woman's leg

Expert's Assistant: The Psychologist will know what to do. Please tell me everything you can so the Psychologist can help you best.

While he was in the back seat and I was up front he tried rubbing a strange woman's leg... he was super drunk and doesn't even remember

Expert's Assistant: Is there anything else the Psychologist should be aware of?

He is apologetic and grossed out by his actions once I told him but I'm having major trust issues with him now

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Answered in 1 hour by:
3/13/2018
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 445
Experience: Owner and Psychotherapist at Self-Employed, Private Practice
Verified

Good evening and thank you so much for your message. I realize it's difficult to reach out. Please know I honor your courage.

My name is ***** ***** I am a psychotherapist in the Metro Boston area of the United States.

I am so sorry this happened. I absolutely understand your concern and having issues regarding trust.

A few questions, is your finance's drinking a bit of an issue by chance? I don't ask this in judgement but he must have been pretty drunk to not remember the incident. If so, I would strongly encourage him to seek professional assistance right away. This could be a turning point for him...realizing he could loose your trust by his over drinking.

If over drinking is not an issue, it sounds like a honestly lapse in judgement. Please know it may take some time to earn your trust back but this is best done by keeping you up-to-date on his whereabouts and reassuring you he is truly committed to the relationship. Time will certainly heal some of this for you....his consistent behavior will recreate this bond.

Does this answer your question? How else can I assist? I want to ensure you are pleased with my service. I also gently request you provide a star rating for me. Of course, we can continue to talk after the rating is provided.

Please take good care of yourself and feel free to contact me with any questions you may have.

Warm regards,

Therapist Leslie

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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
Thanks Leslie,
I agree with laps in judgment but now have the fear of him doing it again or if he has done it before and hid it when I'm not around. I seem to be questioning his faithfulness ...
Over drinking HAS been an issue before and now I wonder what he has done when I couldn't be by his side:(?
He treats me really good and is so loving and caring but when he drinks way too much I don't really like the person he becomes. Should he quit drinking or song think he is capable of knowing his limits?

It sounds like you are with a kind man who loves you very much. I would very gently talk with him about the recent incident and say it is your fear this may happen again (or has happened in the past already) and you would hate for it to ruin what the two of you have. Ask if he can decide before going out how much he is planning on drinking and see if he can stick to it. If not, it sounds like he does have a problem that is best managed by a substance abuse counselor and/or AA. Do you think he would be willing to try this?

Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 445
Experience: Owner and Psychotherapist at Self-Employed, Private Practice
Verified
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Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 445
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