Relationship

Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

This answer was rated:

I’m not sure if I’m in the right place or not. I am getting…

I’m not sure if...

I’m not sure if I’m in the right place or not

Expert's Assistant: The Psychologist will know what to do. Please tell me everything you can so the Psychologist can help you best.

I am getting back into dating at 49. And I feel I am not at all prepared for how men act in the online dating world. Dated a guy for a month, he was very interested, great connection, spoke everyday, saw each other as much as we could, then nothing, no contact for four days. I sent a message asking him how he was doing, waited two days to answer me and said he was busy, meant to call and needed to talk to me at some point. It’s been three days and still no contact. I’m so confused and I can’t understand what happened or what to do?

Expert's Assistant: Is there anything else important you think the Psychologist should know?

I don’t know... not even sure a psychologist can help me?

Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 1 month ago
I guess I don’t know what to do if he is not willing to answer my texts or calls. Seems really childish to act this way. And I feel like a loser for falling for his act.
Answered in 1 hour by:
3/13/2018
Carlett F
Carlett F, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 34
Experience: Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice
Verified

Hello! Welcome to JustAnswer. Thank you for your question. I’m CarlettF LPC and I can help you today. I'll be back shortly with my reply!

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 1 month ago
Ok, thank you
Customer reply replied 1 month ago
I don’t want to spend an additional 34 dollars. I’m not even sure this is the right place for me to be

I am sorry you have had to experience this after meeting someone that you really connected with... It is definitely an adjustment getting back into the dating scene after being married or in a long term relationship for so long. Dating has changed tremendously and online dating is now one of the main ways people meet and began relationships. I want to encourage you to not look at yourself as a looser in this situation you were sincere and you thought he was too.

I hate to say this but it is strong possibility that this guy was also talking to and dating other women while dating or seeing you. He probably assumed you were doing the same because after all it was a dating site you met on. It is possible that he has met someone else that has caught his interest and has now started spending time with that person, which is why you are not hearing from him.

The other possible explanation for him disappearing is he had begun to really like you a lot and it scared him...so he has pulled away to try to protect himself....

Either way it is "childish" and wrong for him to just go " Ghost" on you (a term used in dating when someone just disappears for apparent reason and suddenly stop communicating) after the two of you have had such a connection and invested time in getting to know one another. Unfortunately this is very common in the dating world now especially with online dating, but do not allow this fact to discourage you from continuing to use online dating as a method of meeting quality people. However, you should not tolerate this behavior from people, if they just suddenly disappear and stop answering your calls and texts, Remove them from your consideration as a potential partner. They have shown you that they are not serious about getting to know you, too immature for a relationship and that they are inconsistent and can not be trusted with your heart.

Also, when online dating or dating period you should get to know and date more than one guy yourself if nothing else just to leverage your heart. If it truly began to get serious with one, you can stop seeing the other. But in the early stages it is good to get to know multiple people. 2 or even 3. Have fun and take it slow. Dating is really about gathering data and really getting to know someone.

Lastly I want to refer you to a resource that might really help you out with navigating these dating streets after being off the dating scene for so long....... it really helped me. Go to YouTube... search for " Doc Reid" videos. He is a relationship coach to women, he must have at least 50 free relationship videos out there on YouTube. They are really good and full of revelation.

I wish you the Best,

Ask Your Own Relationship Question

My goal is to provide you with excellent service. If you're satisfied with my assistance, your 5-star rating at this time is appreciated. If you have any further questions, don't hesitate to ask!

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 1 month ago
Thank you so much for your insight, it truly was helpful and I will definitely look into the you tube videos you recommended. I know that I did the best I could with the information I had. This guy texted me every morning, we talked for hours every night. When he wasn’t with his daughters, he was with me. He took his profile down and told me that he was all in and did not want to date anyone else. So I believed him. With that said, I did not feel it was right to move on until he ended things. When he didn’t, and just stopped communication, I felt lost... I know this is about him and not me. I know that I was sincere and genuine with him. I just felt really naive, like I missed a lesson that everyone else already knows. I don’t want this experience to make me sour or bitter. I like who I am and I have to believe that I will find a partner who sees that in me. I just want to make this hurt go away. Thank you for listening. I appreciate your advice.Take care,
Lynne

Lynne, you are welcome. I know it hurts but after a little time has passed you will heal and move on, it likely will not take long because this relationship was brief. Allow yourself to feel what you feel, do not try to numb the pain or deny it. Just take this experience and learn from it....This is the healthiest way to fully heal. But during this period, do get out and about enjoying the things Lynne enjoy, spend time with friends/family. This is also a good time to re-access what you want in dating and a relationship. You will be ready to get back out there in no time.

Take Care,

Carlett

Carlett F
Carlett F, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 34
Experience: Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice
Verified
Carlett F and 87 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Customer reply replied 1 month ago
Hi Carlett,One more quick question. I am just so completely confused by the way this guy treatment me and how into me he seemed being in stark contrast to the way he just disappeared. Is it appropriate to ask for an explanation? Or is it better to work on taking my mind off of it and move on. I don't want to seem desperate. I feel like I have been robbed of the ability to make a decision here, and it feels like I have been emotionally violated... I realize that may sound dramatic, but it's true. I'm just so confused... I will listen to some of your you tube suggestions and see if that might help me get some insight. In the meantime, I just need to know what would be in my best interest to do at this point.Thank you again!
Lynne
Was this answer helpful?
Ask Carlett F Your Own Question
Carlett F
Carlett F
Carlett F, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 34
34 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice

Carlett F is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

TherapistMaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn

Counselor

1,720 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues

Ms Chase

Ms Chase

Life Coach

853 satisfied customers

Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Psychotherapist

468 satisfied customers

Specializing in relationship/family counseling

Dr. Norman Brown

Dr. Norman Brown

Marriage Therapist

427 satisfied customers

Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

366 satisfied customers

Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.

Suzanne

Suzanne

Therapist, LCSW

338 satisfied customers

Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

DrJackiePhD

DrJackiePhD

Doctor

338 satisfied customers

I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.

< Previous | Next >

Related Relationship Questions
Dealing with a husband who gets extremely mad and resentful
Dealing with a husband who gets extremely mad and resentful when I spend time with my family especially my grandchildren. We have been married 7 years and he has 3 boys from his first marriage and I h… read more
Carlett F
Carlett F
Counselor
34 satisfied customers
My fiancé just kicked me out of the house because I'm a
My fiancé just kicked me out of the house because I'm a recovering alcoholic who relapsed. It's the second relapse in our 1.5 years together. She's talking about calling the wedding off and I'm terrif… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
180 satisfied customers
My partner has cheated on me many times but says he'd won't
Hi my partner has cheated on me many times but says he'd won't do it now more. … read more
Carlett F
Carlett F
Counselor
34 satisfied customers
Looking for a relationship counselor. Should i send my whole
I have a relationship with a much younger filipino woman that up until recently I thought was strong. We met in Singapore 2 years ago and I helped her move back home with her family. We are engaged for the last 18 months and already purchased a home. Our relationship was strong....I thought but she was having trouble with her parents. One night she was angry with her father and went our alone to a bar 2 hours from home. She allowed a guy to sit with her for company and....well they ended up sleeping together that night, unprotected, and she is now pregnant with his baby. I really love her and trying to forgive her but I can't get these images out of my head. It's been a month now since she told me....and initially she was unsure if it was his or mine....but confirmed his. I am faced with a dilemma to either end the relationship with this woman that I still love.....and I believe still loves me....or accepting what she did and raising another man's baby. I am really torn up inside and thought I would be getting better but the pain and hurt are just so great. I wrote her a letter explaining all of my issues and was very candid. It was good to vent but realistically, I have trouble getting over this. Can I ever trust her again? will I be able to accept this baby? Any advice or insights greatly appreciated....… read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
My partner has been having problems with my mother,over the
hi.my partner has been having problems with my mother,over the past few years and has made her feel realy depressed and for her own sannity she would like not to see them for awhile until she gets better how ever long that will be.My parents have no idea she feels this way about them,I have to somehow tell my parents that my wife is not well because of things that they have done over the years .i … read more
Carlett F
Carlett F
Counselor
34 satisfied customers
Is there such thing as a sex addict? My older sister just
is there such thing as a sex addict? My older sister just found out her husband has been cheating on her for years with hired escorts and he just got diagnosed as a sex addict. Will he ever change and… read more
S. August Abbott
S. August Abbott
Etiquette consultant
Doctoral Degree
260 satisfied customers
I have met a guy we have been connecting for 4 months He
I have met a guy we have been connecting for 4 months He wants hi help me with credit cards so he wants a picture of front and back Thoughts… read more
S. August Abbott
S. August Abbott
Etiquette consultant
Doctoral Degree
260 satisfied customers
Why woyld my husbans want a relationship that is filled with
Why woyld my husbans want a relationship that is filled with lies and deceit instead Anna open and honest. Things will go great until there is some thing that needs discusses. Tham he flipsour and mak… read more
Carlett F
Carlett F
Counselor
34 satisfied customers
My mother is 74 and is having dialysis for end stage kidney
My mother is 74 and is having dialysis for end stage kidney failure. She drives to dialysis 3 times per week. My mother is doing what she needs to do to survive, but it makes her tired.My mother has a… read more
S. August Abbott
S. August Abbott
Etiquette consultant
Doctoral Degree
260 satisfied customers
I have a 17 years old she is a cancer survivor and year 12
Hi I have a 17 years old she is a cancer survivor and year 12 student , she is very stressed and everything has to be her way or we not good or we don't hear her she is crying right now which is Madri… read more
Carlett F
Carlett F
Counselor
34 satisfied customers
My scenario is but I just wanted to know if I am
My scenario is long but I just wanted to know if I am overthinking things...I feel a little torn on how to feel … read more
Carlett F
Carlett F
Counselor
34 satisfied customers
I hurt my boyfriend terribly by saying some very mean things
I hurt my boyfriend terribly by saying some very mean things while drunk and acting needy/defensive toward the end of the relationship. He also thought I was crying wolf about domestic violence while … read more
S. August Abbott
S. August Abbott
Etiquette consultant
Doctoral Degree
260 satisfied customers
A friend is married to a woman he is very in love with. I
A friend is married to a woman he is very in love with. I feel they love each other very much, and are quite compatible. This wife want several children and a big nice house, which is risky based on t… read more
CounselorJules
CounselorJules
Licensed Professional Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
57 satisfied customers
Got lots to say lol. I have a woman i do feel deep down is
I have a woman i do feel deep down is the one, she moved to Kentucky back in 2016 with her best friend and she wanted me to move with her but at the time i wasnt ready and ended up missing a couple of chances to move down there so now i have another chance but at the same time she dont want to commit to me unless i move there so she is dating other people for the time being and im having problems with that … read more
Carlett F
Carlett F
Counselor
34 satisfied customers
This is great. My new boyfriend doesn't seem to let go of
My new boyfriend doesn't seem to let go of his past flames. He communicates with them almost daily, send them the same funny or cute photos he sends to me, and says they are just his friends now. It's making me feel very unspecial. … read more
S. August Abbott
S. August Abbott
Etiquette consultant
Doctoral Degree
260 satisfied customers
My husband of 35 years has been invited to NYC by his high
My husband of 35 years has been invited to NYC by his high school ex (divorced) to "celebrate" turning 60. Spouses are not invited. This group of high school girls were extremely rude and insulting to… read more
S. August Abbott
S. August Abbott
Etiquette consultant
Doctoral Degree
260 satisfied customers
Iv been seeing someone for 6 weeks and the first 2 weeks
Hey, iv been seeing someone for 6 weeks and the first 2 weeks were great but the last month he has been having some personal issues which has kind of put me on the back burning in the effort departmen… read more
TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn
Counselor
Master's Degree
1,720 satisfied customers
I met this great guy not far for me and we've been dating
I met this great guy not far for me and we've been dating for the last few weeks and I feel we have a great connection with deep feelings however before he met me he arranged we can get away with an o… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
958 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x