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Thanks for speaking with me. Well I guess I'm just hoping to…

Hello, thanks for speaking...

Hello, thanks for speaking with me. Well I guess I'm just hoping to get an opinion on the possibility of a recent relationship of mine being salvageable

Expert's Assistant: The Psychologist will know what to do. Please tell me everything you can so the Psychologist can help you best.

Okay so.. last March I finally got the guts to leave the toxic relationship I was in. There was no abuse really but we got to the point of bringing out nothing but the ugliness in each other. We (mostly she) had become horribly co-dependent and I knew I had to be the one to cut it off for both our sakes. Anyways, I was able to move on pretty quickly seeing as I had accepted we were wrong awhile ago but didn

Expert's Assistant: Is there anything else important you think the Psychologist should know?

Didn't have the guts to end it unfortunately.. I really did care deeply for her and didn't realize until too late how much more damage I did by sticking around. Well about a month later, Aubrey came along. I remember the first time I saw her when I was still with Indyanna where I worked and she just struck me in such a way. She shined to me and I can't even say exactly what it was about her that hit me as looking like everything I wanted in a girl. I can honestly say she gave me the most fun summer of my life last year. She helped me with the residual post heartbreak feelings and pretty quickly forget about them entirely. She came into my life so shortly after I got out of such a long and difficult relationship that I had a really hard time opening about about the actual feelings that were growing inside me. I felt I had to be young and single and do all the wild things I had been wanting to do whilst I was with Indyanna so I made it clear to Aubrey that I only wanted to be a fling. You see, she was moving 5 hours away for college and we actually both agreed that we likely should keep it casual. She didn't want to sleep together right off but I expressed that I wanted to (I was feeling wild after becoming single) the attraction was too much and then we spent a solid amount of our time doing that. We have many other similar interests though, as I later discovered. We both love the same music, activities, films, literature. We have similar values like adventurousness, positivity, kindess, independence, self-development. All of a sudden I had fallen head over heels for her and didn't know how to handle it. Like we had this expectation of just casually going seperate ways and just being friends after she moved. It as a complete joke. Things came to a mount and all of a sudden we are admitting to each other our real and actual love for each other. I think it took us both off guard. Anyway, she leaves a few days after that and I am finding myself just a little devastated but still very happy for my new "friend". We keep talking because neither of us really even talked to many other people while we dated seeing as we were obsessed with each other. I find myself with this urge to go see her probably a month after she had left. It was the most memorable weekend I have ever had. We had an absolute blast and I loved every second of it but couldn't shake how insane I felt to be getting this close and attached to someone again. Especially someone on a very different life path from my own. I don't like distance, I am not a patient person. Well things carry on well after that weekend but I have started to feel funny about things. A couple weeks later she catches me completely by surprise and shows up at my place that weekend. I was beyond thrilled. Everything was good and great at first and we were just doing all the things we normally did but somehow my perception had shifted and the affect was sharp. Suddenly I couldn't help but see just her flaws and all the bad things she represented to me (as I think anybody comes with a balance of good and bad affects on your life simply by being who they are). It really felt like we fit like a glove two weeks before, I don't understand what happened. I have theorized maybe it was just the hormones fading and the deepness of a long term relationship setting in and when I saw that I freaked out. It was exactly what I had planned to avoid from the beginning. In a flood of emotion and thought, I decided to call her and tell her it had gone too far and I couldn't do it. Naturally, she was kind of devastated and called multiple times late that night but I felt it might actually be unwise to answer for her own sake. Pretty soon, like two weeks later, the tables turned. Especially when she visited again and surprised me at my place again. But it was a slightly bitter and painful surprise this time. We kept it light and just tried to enjoy each other's company but next thing I know, she comes onto me and we m

Expert's Assistant: Hello. How can I help?

I just need some advice as to whether or not a recent relationship of mine might be salvageable

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Answered in 1 hour by:
2/18/2018
John-Michaels
John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 953
Experience: 25+ years helping resolve relational issues.
Verified
Hello, my name is John. I am an LPC. Please give me a moment to look over your question.
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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
Hey John
Customer reply replied 4 months ago
I'm sorry, I prefer this way
are you saying you are having second thoughts and wanting to get back with her?
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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
I would like that but I'm worried I screwed up too much
you lay it all on the line. You tell her you think you made a mistake and you want to give it another try. The worse that can happen is she says it’s over. The best is she says she feels the same way and wants to give it a try. If you don’t at least give it a try, the best you can get is the worst. Does that make sense?
John-Michaels
John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 953
Experience: 25+ years helping resolve relational issues.
Verified
John-Michaels and 87 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Well thank you for accepting my response. Best wishes...
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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
I guess you're right. I appreciate that, thank you.
If you don’t try you’ll live in regret and never knower. If she turns you down, you will know, move on, and be free to love elsewhere. The only way she will be able to return your feelings is for you to first express them.
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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
I feel like it would be wrong to explain these feelings over a text message but I don't know what to do when she won't respond or call me. Maybe that's my answer..
Well, I guess I missed she wasn’t talki g to you. Maybe you need to give it a couple weeks.
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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
I just can't help this feeling that it's been too long and I don't have enough of a hold for her to still care much longer. I mean I guess a couple more weeks isn't much compared to the six months it's been since she hasn't been mine but it's almost like I can feel her steadily slipping away and it's hard to handle.
Well, then I’m back to what is there to lose? If she turns you down, you never had her to begin with. Follow your heart and go for it!
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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
I suppose you're right, couldn't really make things any worse than they already are
It can only help
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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
Thank you for all your help, I guess I'll see how it goes
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