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In college and met a guy through a mutual organization. We…

In college and met a...
In college and met a guy through a mutual organization. We hung out almost everyday and became very very close. He was always hung up on his high school girlfriend and I was interested in him and always wondered why he acted like we were dating if he was so hung up. At the end of college I gave up that he would ever have some declaration of love or feelings and I began dating and we didn’t hang out as frequently. However, in November we reconnected and he invited me to a dinner party with his family (something he never had done with any friends). We had weekly dinners and exchanged books that we were interested in. I expressed that I had planned to stop seeing a guy I had been dating in the hopes he would take the hint and pursue something farther except nothing happened. Then one day in January he invited me to an expensive restaurant and said he was inviting one of our mutual friends too so I invited a friend. When we arrived it was just him and he was kind of upset I invited a friend. We texted since then but never were able to form plans. Flash forward to yesterday we went out with friends and he began asking me if I stopped seeing that guy and proceeded to tell me how he met someone he’s gone on a couple dates with but wouldn’t say her name and was vague about how they met. I was jealous and became short with him the rest of the evening. This morning he texted me when he first woke up saying how much fun he had last night which is unusual for him. I’m left feeling confused and don’t know what to do
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Answered in 17 minutes by:
2/17/2018
John-Michaels
John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 953
Experience: 25+ years helping resolve relational issues.
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Welcome to JustAnswer! I am a Licensed Professional Counselor. I am reviewing your question and will reply in a moment.

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I think it is time you two quit playing games with each other and own up to your feelings? I very well could be wrong, but am fairly convinced he feels as strongly toward you as you do him. What is the risk of revealing your feelings. Even if he does not return them, at least you know then. Text him back and say something to the effect of, 'I enjoyed my self too. when are we going to quit the charades and start dating?" End it with a smiley face just in case. I know that is bold, but what do you have to lose?

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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
I guess since he mentioned seeing this other girl I’m just worried I’ll say something and he will be harsh or judge mental to me. I did respond to his text out of a place of jealousy which was a mistake after he sent it saying “I’m sure it wasnt as fun as going to hot pot, but I had fun as well” I said the hot pot bit because when he was taking about this mystery woman he kept going on about how he took her on a date to get hot pot

Honestly, that sounds immature of him. Your response wasn't all that mature either though. I say text him back and apologize. Let him know that you were a little jealous. He obviously isn't serious about his girl...if she exists. I think he probably brought her up to make you jealous.

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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
She might not even be a real person? He might have made her up?
Customer reply replied 4 months ago
I’ve been second guessing how he feels but then he texted me this morning and I’m uncertain if I’ve read into it

I wondered if you would catch that. I have no way of knowing, but I am pretty certain he was trying to make you jealous. Like I said, what have you to lose? The best case scenario is he shares your feelings and you start dating. Worse case, he laughs at you. For one. that isn't going to happen. Two, if it did, at least you would know. I'm not saying throw yourself at him. Just say something to the effect, "Hey, I'm sorry for the cheap shot . I honestly think I might be a little jealous." See what his response is.

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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
The last couple weeks we had planned to grab dinner but something would always come up, is it too much if I apologized over text and ask if we could food this week

Not at all.

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I hope I have been helpful. If I have, please give me a five star rating so I can receive credit for my services.

John-Michaels
John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 953
Experience: 25+ years helping resolve relational issues.
Verified
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