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I ONLY WANT THERAPIST Oh Boy Again! Wait til you hear this…

I ONLY WANT THERAPIST JENOh...
I ONLY WANT THERAPIST JENOh Boy Again! Wait til you hear this one.... it’s back to Darcy my favorite ...So last night I stopped by a local sports bar for a beer... I’ve been taking a “Heart Break” and not dating for a whileMinding my own business and my friend Darcy texts me and wants to catch up ...You might have to look back a couple of questions to find the last Darcy question ...Anyway I did what you said and didn’t force anything ...So she shows up we have a couple of beers and she tells me I’m handsome ..Then says why don’t I take her home ... I actually laughed but soon found out she was seriousSounds good so far right? Wrong lolWell to make a long story short we slept together but the sleeping kind ....oh boy ... actually slept the best in years .. but when we woke up in the morning I had to get her home right away because her daughter was being dropped off..The chance of a lifetime and I messed up...Im thinking I blew my chance and this chance won’t happen again .... am I stuck in the friend zone for good now ?Bill
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Answered in 36 minutes by:
1/21/2018
TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3,928
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Verified
Do you think she wanted you to make a move and you didnt?
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Customer reply replied 6 months ago
I thought that she wanted me to just hold her for a while and then we both kinda fell asleep
did you talk or text today?
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I think you have nothing to lose at this point so if you want to I would suggest maybe send her a text letting her know how wonderful it was and possibly kicking yourself for not giving her a kiss or something more. Let's see how she responds but if you don't do it then you'll always be left wondering and if you do it and doesnt respond favorably, then you are exactly where you think you are anyway. How does that feel for you?
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Customer reply replied 6 months ago
Well I did actually make a move but she stopped me at that point and wanted me to hold her... it was kind of late at this point I’m guessing 130 or 2 AM.I did kiss her ...When I brought her to her car I kissed her and hugged her goodbye and said I’d love to see her soon.. she said yesWhen she got home she did text me to let me know she was home safe and thanked me for a really fun sleepoverI did respond and told her I enjoyed every minuteAnd that was thatI remembered you saying don’t force anything so here I am 12 hours later wondering if I blew my chanceShe knows how I feel about her
I’ve made a fool out of myself many times for her nowB
Customer reply replied 6 months ago
I guess I should have made another move? But we fell asleep

It sounds just fine...she told you what she wanted so making another movie would have gone against that desire so it went as it should. So yes, leave things for a bit, let her think about her night and look back with desire for more. You can always be playful about it in a few days and say you are wanting to take her out and romance her but worry that she wants friendship only...then she can let you know where things are and you can go from there and no that does not make you a fool..it makes you a a caring man that wants to pursue.

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Customer reply replied 6 months ago
I guess where I’m confused is and you may recall about a month ago we saw each other for three days straight ... one night we met for a drink and we had a passionate kiss the next night she invited me out I met some of her friends and then we went to the ritz for a drink and I went to hold her hand and she said we were friends and out of loyalty to the guy she had been dating ( she never calls him a bf) she couldn’t
Then calls me in the morning and invites me to churchThat’s the last I saw her until last night..,I’m wondering if maybe her friends are influencing her a little ?Maybe I should just give up ?
Customer reply replied 6 months ago
I’ve gone on a few dates to say the least with women other than her but she is the only one I really like ... I’m just comfortable and happy when I’m with her

It sounds like she is a bit unsure...not so much about you but more about herself and what she wants. Let her miss you a bit and keep coming to you. I know she is the one that you really like, but in the meantime keep living your life and going out and let her really reach out. And if she sends these confusing messages you can bring it up to her because again, what do you have to lose!

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Customer reply replied 6 months ago
I guess I might have brought this on myself since day one... I guess by being a nice guy I might have been placed in the friend zoneI know you’re right at this point ...I’m not sure she’ll reach out to me... most of the time I reach out first by saying hello

Then I would let things be and not reach out and see what she does.

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Customer reply replied 6 months ago
What you’re saying is if she wants to be with me then she would be and i should just move forward with the understanding that she probably won’t but if she does be open to it

yes...she knows how to find you, and if she wants you then she can let you know. If the unknowing is too hard for you then you can always be direct and ask her what she desires...

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Customer reply replied 6 months ago
You always make me feel better!You know what if I don’t hear from her I’m just gonna ask her out sometime in the next few weeks one last timeAnd either way that will be my answerI do know she doesn’t want me to go away completely
Thanks Jen

I like your plan...and whatever you do, do not be hard on yourself or feel like you are a fool. You are a gentleman that cares deeply!

TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3,928
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Verified
TherapistJen and 87 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
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Customer reply replied 6 months ago
I’m having a bad day.... I actually thought it would be a long time before I reached out to you again if ever... maybe it’s this time of year I don’t know.
I’ve been thinking about Darcy again... a lot actually... a part of me just wants to forget her and Just move on completely without a care or concern or so much as a goodbyeBut what makes her different is I just have a sense... an intuition .... that she doesn’t want me to go... I think to myself what’s wrong with me? Am I dreaming ? Am I imagining? I’m really not sure .... is it possible for me to feel so sure about this ? It’s never happened with someone else..I can’t keep beating myself up for this...
If I don’t reach out to her chances are she won’t to me...but then again there are many women that won’t even if they are interestedIs it unusual for me to feel this way ?
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