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I started talking to a girl on a dating website about three…

Hi. I started talking...

Hi. I started talking to a girl on a dating website about three weeks ago, and we've been on 2 dates so far. I REALLY like her - she's sweet, cute, fun...but last week, after our second date, I went to Cancun with my parents and was basically alone at a couples resort. The last night I was there, I met someone at a nearby resort on tinder and we went out to the local clubs. Im not sure what I expected - I guess just to explore the downtown area with a girl my own age, but we ended up getting really drunk and kissed twice near the end of the night. It wasn't a heavy makeout session or anything, just a couple light kissses, but I still feel like I did something really wrong. Should I tell the girl I'm dating what happened? I hate the idea of keeping anything from her, but I also don't want to hurt her, or for her to think this kind of thing is the norm for me. My brains telling me it's not cheating if you've only been on two dates but my heart thinks I made a mistake.

Expert's Assistant: The Psychologist will know what to do. Is there anything else the Psychologist should be aware of?

I sometimes get overly anxious about things which is why I'm unsure of what to do right now.

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Answered in 15 hours by:
1/21/2018
TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3,928
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Verified
After two dates it does not sound to me like you have had the conversation to be exclusive so I see nothing wrong with you being out on vacation and meeting someone and going out and exploring the town and sharing a few kisses. You are in the dating process and I am sure that she doesn't expect exclusivity after two dates and nor have you had that conversation. I think you can rest easy and just know that you are out there having a good time, exploring all opportunities, and are still interested in this girl.
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Customer reply replied 6 months ago
Thanks, ***** ***** make me feel better. I guess the guilt, even if its self-imposed, is just weighing down on me really heavily. Just thinking about the first girl used to make me really happy, but after kissing this other girl it just makes me feel like I ruined something. Is this feeling normal? Is it something I'm going to have to hold with me for a long time? We didn't discuss exclusivity, it just felt like we were really close right off the bat, and I didn't really get the feeling that she really had much dating experience. We're going out again next week, and if it goes well, I'm considering asking her if she's seeing other people, telling her that I saw someone else but could only think about her, and asking how she feels about making things official. Maybe that would be a way to share my feelings and avoid keeping anything from her?
All of your feelings are normal and they're actually good feelings because it shows yourself that you can feel connected to another person and have the ability to look at your behavior. Again you did nothing wrong and yes I like that idea of seeing her next week seeing where things are between the two of you if you want exclusivity and you can let her know that prior to exclusivity you have dated other girls but could only think of her. I like that plan.
TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3,928
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Verified
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Customer reply replied 6 months ago
Great, thanks a lot for listening and for the advice. I'm already feeling better.
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