Relationship

Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Relationship

I need some advice on whether on not to contact my ex. We…

Customer Question
Hello, I need some advice...
Hello, I need some advice on whether on not to contact my ex. We broke up in Nov after a year and a half. We had some ups and downs and were also doing long distance. In the end, poor communication did us in and I think we were both holding in anger against one another. We went on a trip and my ex ended things via text after an argument. A few attempts to chat ended up being us both being upset with each other and getting no where. We went no contact and a few weeks later I asked him to come pick up his stuff. He came and we caught up but did not talk about the relationship. When he left he told me that he really missed me and could we talk about things properly. I replied in a message yes but let’s do it after the holidays. I was going home to see my family and did not want anymore stress during this period. This whole thing has affected me sleep a lot. He never replied about talking later. While away I called him by mistake. He called back immediately twice but I was not ready to talk. I sent him a message the next day saying it was a mistake but asked how he was and wished him a happy New Year. And no reply. I called him when I got back leaving a message if we wanted to talk. Nothing. It may sound silly but after a few days o blocked him on my phone b/c I could not take waiting for him to call after I feel so hurt about everything. I am sure he would have seen that I blocked him. I am debating sending a message that I think it’s too bad we were never able to discuss things properly. After a year and a half I think this could have ended with more kindness and respect. So after all of this nonsense ... do I sent it. Do I let him know that it hurt me that we never had a proper discussion. I don’t know if I want to get back together and I only would of slot changed. Or do I never contact him again and hope soon the pain starts to feel better
Submitted: 1 month ago.Category: Relationship
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Answered in 10 minutes by:
1/20/2018
Counselor: Therapist Leslie, Counselor replied 1 month ago
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 418
Experience: Owner and Psychotherapist at Self-Employed, Private Practice
Verified

Good evening and thank you so much for your message. I realize it's difficult to reach out. Please know I honor your courage.

My name is ***** ***** I am a psychotherapist in the Metro Boston area of the United States.

Ohhhhh sweet soul, my heart aches for you. It's so difficult to move forward without any closure and I absolutely understand your desire to have a final conversation about why things ended and perhaps have some of your questions answered. It's interesting as communication was an issue throughout the relationship and I imagine it was quite severe as even the ending was not given space for conversation.

Please do not consider re-entering this relationship as I fear your partner has been very insensitive and immature. You have reached out and have not been given the decency to end things in an adult-like manner.

I fear you will never get the answers/closure you wish from your ex. I am so sorry to say this as I imagine this is not what you want to hear. My advice would be to write a letter explaining everything you would have said in a conversation (had it happened). This will allow you to put your thoughts together and create your own form of closure. Please do not send this letter--this is strictly for you and your own processing.

Please move forward, sweet soul, and find a man evolved enough to be respectful of your feelings and with the ability to communicate appropriately.

I am so sorry this happened.

Have I answered your question? Is there anything else I can do to assist you further? I want to ensure you are pleased with my service. I also gently request you provide a star rating for me. Of course, we can continue to talk after the rating is provided.

Please take good care of yourself and feel free to contact me with any questions you may have.

Warm regards,

Therapist Leslie

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 1 month ago
Thank you for the response. I know you are right in everything you said. This is what I had crafted to send him for my closure. Hi, its too bad that having that chat never worked out. I think it would been the respectful thing after a year and a half
together.We appeared to be on good terms when you picked up your stuff. Two un-replied messages/ a call later .... I guess not. I needed to block you for a few days b/c more hurt just seemed unnecessary at this point. There’s been enough of that already to say the least.I know we’re both moving on but I needed to get this off my chest. No more negative energy expended onto something that could have ended in a kinder way. Too bad.I suppose sending it will only fuel his ego and continue to hurt mine.
Counselor: Therapist Leslie, Counselor replied 1 month ago

Good afternoon, Cheryl.

I love what you wrote and yes, you are oh so right. I do agree that sending it would only fuel his ego at this point. Please know you deserve to be with a much more evolved man. Please spend your time and energy focused on moving forward with someone who is a better match for you. I am so sorry this has happened to you. This happened to me as well and I understand the enormity of your pain.

Warm regards,

Leslie

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Counselor: Therapist Leslie, Counselor replied 28 days ago
This answer is protected
Would you like to ask this question?
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.
Was this answer helpful?
Ask Therapist Leslie Your Own Question
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 418
418 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Owner and Psychotherapist at Self-Employed, Private Practice

Therapist Leslie is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

TherapistMaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn

Counselor

1,720 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues

Ms Chase

Ms Chase

Life Coach

853 satisfied customers

Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Psychotherapist

468 satisfied customers

Specializing in relationship/family counseling

Dr. Norman Brown

Dr. Norman Brown

Marriage Therapist

427 satisfied customers

Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

366 satisfied customers

Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.

Suzanne

Suzanne

Therapist, LCSW

338 satisfied customers

Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

DrJackiePhD

DrJackiePhD

Doctor

338 satisfied customers

I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.

< Previous | Next >

Related Relationship Questions
I have a man I work with emailing me for the past several
I have a man I work with emailing me for the past several weeks and he has not asked me out. We are both late forties - single - health professionals. He has not asked me out. I kind of want to invite… read more
Ashleigh
Ashleigh
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
1 satisfied customers
I have just found out my husband has been texting a massage
I have just found out my husband has been texting a massage girl he met in Thailand. (We travel there a lot). They text most nights around midnight or sometimes even during the day. Just stuff like ho… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
172 satisfied customers
I hate how online dating has become all about just texting.
I hate how online dating has become all about just texting. I have been talking to this guy for a week and he seems like he wants to meet. I even asked him about meeting on Wednesday. He couldn't that… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
172 satisfied customers
Had a question regarding a recent breakup with my boyfriend
Had a question regarding a recent breakup with my boyfriend of 14 months … read more
S. August Abbott
S. August Abbott
Etiquette consultant
Doctoral Degree
260 satisfied customers
Things were interesting when she was here, she didn't make
Hi Jen :)Things were interesting when she was here, she didn't make her flight from Melbourne on time, mistaking the times on her flight here and back, I paid for her and her friend Tihana to get on t… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
954 satisfied customers
Need some grounding. My gf and I were having problems
Hi... need some grounding. My gf and I were having problems because she was unwilling to commit to me fully. Now she says she knows she wants to be with me fully as a life partner and get married.… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
172 satisfied customers
I been through a 3 week breakup and want to get back with
Hi. My name is***** been through a 3 week breakup and want to get back with her … read more
S. August Abbott
S. August Abbott
Etiquette consultant
Doctoral Degree
260 satisfied customers
My boyfriend and I live two hours apart he lives out in the
My boyfriend and I live two hours apart he lives out in the country and he is a contractor he checks into his plant/office once a week to get supplies and then travels all over Texas for work. I on th… read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Counselor
418 satisfied customers
I was doing distance with a guy and flew down to see him for
I was doing long distance with a guy and flew down to see him for the first time since we started talking seriously. Within five hours he wanted sex. I said no. Then he said something along the lines … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
172 satisfied customers
I just wanted a random opinion my boyfriend broke up with me
I just wanted a random opinion my boyfriend broke up with me last wk over a really small issue he said never talk to me again have a nice life delete me and then he blocked me!! … read more
Ashleigh
Ashleigh
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
1 satisfied customers
Whats the best way to meet and date people from different
Whats the best way to meet and date people from different countries in Shanghai. is there an online website that caters to this?… read more
Ashleigh
Ashleigh
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
1 satisfied customers
My partner left a week ago and texted me today I'm so
Hi my partner left a week ago and texted me today I'm so confused … read more
Ashleigh
Ashleigh
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
1 satisfied customers
I've been with my bf for over 8 months and we started out in
I've been with my bf for over 8 months and we started out in a pretty unique situation. He was in the middle of an intense and expensive custody battle with his ex wife. They've been divorced for 10yr… read more
Ashleigh
Ashleigh
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
1 satisfied customers
I need some help. I was with a man for two and a half years.
I need some help. I was with a man for two and a half years. He is married. He swore up and down he would leave and even initiated the divorce process. This went on for a few months and when I didn't … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
172 satisfied customers
Me and my finace have been together for a year. Our
Me and my finace have been together for a year. Our relationship moved quickly. I love him more than I've ever loved anyone and he feels the same. We argue ALOT. He has a 4yr old daughter that I haven… read more
Ashleigh
Ashleigh
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
1 satisfied customers
My boyfriend broke up with me 7 months ago after 7 year
My boyfriend broke up with me 7 months ago after 7 year relationship. He has distanced himself from family & friends & acting completely different. How do I move on? I'm not over him, didn't want the … read more
Ashleigh
Ashleigh
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
1 satisfied customers
Iam looking for help please with my anger issue it's really
Hi there My name is ***** ***** looking for help please with my anger issue it's really frustrated me iam about to post my partner because off this matter I can't get rid off it 2 days ago I went back… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
172 satisfied customers
I have a situation about someone whom I was in contact for a
I have a situation about someone whom I was in contact for a week and I was wondering if you can help me with that … read more
Dr.G.
Dr.G.
Counseling Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
446 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x