Relationship

Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

This answer was rated:

If he doesnt want to be in a relationship with me, why

doesnt he leave instead of...
If he doesnt want to be in a relationship with me, why doesnt he leave instead of giving me false hope?
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Answered in 15 hours by:
1/17/2018
John-Michaels
John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 953
Experience: 25+ years helping resolve relational issues.
Verified
I’m guessing he doesn’t know what he wants himself. Can you give me more information?
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 3 months ago
He doesnt communicate at all so I am left guessing what is going on with everything, then he carefully turns the situation around onto me. As he doesnt say anything its hard for me to just walk away as he just keeps denying it. We dont live together as I believe he still wants to keep his options open (although he says he doesnt) and have me as well. He has cheated on me before too and that has taken a long time to get over or try to. I am somewhat financially dependent on him and knows it and thrives on the control. He says hell move in but then creates something so he cant and then leaves me feeling like Ive been used.
Customer reply replied 3 months ago
Also he is 46 yrs old too.
The first thing I would say you need to do is find financial independence. As long as he senses he has control, it sounds like he is going to take advantage of it. As soon as you are able, I advise you to move on. Honestly, I would advise you to move Now. It just doesn’t sound he is going to ever settle down. You are too good to wait on him. You are better than that.
John-Michaels
John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 953
Experience: 25+ years helping resolve relational issues.
Verified
John-Michaels and 87 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Customer reply replied 3 months ago
Thank you for your response. I know inside I need to leave, I just have a few things not on my side at the moment. I have been isolated since being with him, he has manipulated my friends and family to the point where I no longer speak with them let alone ask for help, I am currently unemployed and looking constantly for work and I dont have enough funds to be able to have a few options up my sleeve. He knows all this too and whenever I have had an interview for work he has made it so hard for me, example creating an argument the night before, putting me down to the point where I've been crying and look terrible for the interview etc etc. If I start to do my own thing he will indirectly punish me like not allow me any mobile phone credit or I won't be able to buy enough food etc. I can't get a loan as I have tried before with him and it has damaged my credit rating. Meanwhile he does what he wants and most likely with whomever but punishes me. This is really tricky and not easy whatsoever to get out of. It's like a Web and the manipulation is mind blowing, it's just I'm not trained like you are to know how to deal with it in my current situation and stay strong. I really appreciate your help with this. Thank you.
Was this answer helpful?
Ask John-Michaels Your Own Question
John-Michaels
John-Michaels
John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 953
953 Satisfied Customers
Experience: 25+ years helping resolve relational issues.

John-Michaels is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

TherapistMaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn

Counselor

1,720 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues

Ms Chase

Ms Chase

Life Coach

853 satisfied customers

Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Psychotherapist

468 satisfied customers

Specializing in relationship/family counseling

Dr. Norman Brown

Dr. Norman Brown

Marriage Therapist

427 satisfied customers

Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

366 satisfied customers

Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.

Suzanne

Suzanne

Therapist, LCSW

338 satisfied customers

Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

DrJackiePhD

DrJackiePhD

Doctor

338 satisfied customers

I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.

< Previous | Next >

Related Relationship Questions
My boyfriend and I are having problems and wanted to know is
my boyfriend and I are having problems and wanted to know is there a such thing as a break. No we have not talked thru our problem … read more
Rafael-E-Therapist
Rafael-E-Therapist
Director / Psychotherapist
Master\u0027s Degree
424 satisfied customers
I have someone in my life that is kind of a FWB but also a
Second opinion] i have someone in my life that is kind of a FWB but also a good friend. We have been seeing each other for 6 years now but we dont live in the same country. We talk (call or chat) almo… read more
Rafael-E-Therapist
Rafael-E-Therapist
Director / Psychotherapist
Master\u0027s Degree
424 satisfied customers
Me and this girl started talking when she had a boyfriend. I
Me and this girl started talking when she had a boyfriend … read more
Rafael-E-Therapist
Rafael-E-Therapist
Director / Psychotherapist
Master\u0027s Degree
424 satisfied customers
Am I giving you my detailed problem I'm dealing with? Or
Am I giving you my detailed problem I'm dealing with? Or just what its about? … read more
Ashleigh
Ashleigh
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
17 satisfied customers
A coworker of mine is married to a complete jerk. I'm not
A coworker of mine is married to a complete jerk. I'm not sure why she's still with him but she is. The other day, she told me that she got to know another man from a previous job and they still keep … read more
Rafael-E-Therapist
Rafael-E-Therapist
Director / Psychotherapist
Master\u0027s Degree
424 satisfied customers
I want you to know my experience with my second date with in
Hi Jen , I want you to know my experience with my second date with John in Pa.. It was a long ride and he offered me to move in , seriously. He wanted me to stay the night which I didn't do, and drove… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
960 satisfied customers
I've been seeing a guy for about 3 weeks we've never texted
I've been seeing a guy for about 3 weeks we've never texted a lot but usually message at least once a day and see each other a few times a week. Now I haven't heard from him in 3 days, I didn't try to… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
960 satisfied customers
I have a question me and my girlfriend going thru a
Hello I have a question me and my girlfriend going thru a breakdown right now because she think I'm cheating cause I didn't want to give her my phone ever since that day I applied for my action but to… read more
Rafael-E-Therapist
Rafael-E-Therapist
Director / Psychotherapist
Master\u0027s Degree
424 satisfied customers
My boyfriend who I've known for 20 yrs and I decided to try
My boyfriend who I've known for 20 yrs and I decided to try again with a romantic relationship again while he was incarcerated recently, he was in jail for 7 months, it was awesome, he was a dream, co… read more
Rafael-E-Therapist
Rafael-E-Therapist
Director / Psychotherapist
Master\u0027s Degree
424 satisfied customers
Thanks for your support. I am grieving for. He is the
Hi Jen, Thanks for your support. I am grieving for Gary. He is the highschool sweetheart who has briefly broken up with the home coming queen (Yes from our school) to reconnect with me and we were mom… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
960 satisfied customers
Hope all is well. I hope you don't mind as I really need to
Hi Jen, Hope all is well . I hope you don't mind as I really need to process a couple of things that have happened most recently. I have put distance between me and the long term relationship guy , me… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
960 satisfied customers
I have been in a relationship for yr & a half..I'm 36, in
Please help! I have been in a relationship for yr & a half..I'm 36, in nursing school..boyfriend is 33 and an electrician assistant that constantly says he dsnt like his job/can't afford much except t… read more
Ashleigh
Ashleigh
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
17 satisfied customers
Hrown Children vs. New Child Ok so here goes. I have 4
Hrown Children vs. New Child Ok so here goes. I have 4 'children'...three grown with kids of their own & one that is 8, younger than two of their oldest kids; which my 8 year old has always been reall… read more
Carlett F
Carlett F
Therapist
Master\u0027s Degree
55 satisfied customers
For expert: you know since I started getting busy and he
For expert Martin: Hey you know since I started getting busy and he started going out and not taking my calls, he is now developing a habit of going on on Saturdays and not picking up my call, even he… read more
Martin
Martin
Electrical engineer
Bachelor's Degree
486 satisfied customers
Strangers will call me pretty, nice, normal, say I have
Strangers will call me pretty, nice, normal, say I have rich parents but they never call me smart. They say they don't know whether I'm smart or not. Well how do they know I'm nice, normal or have ric… read more
Kelisa Volson
Kelisa Volson
MA
1 satisfied customers
How can we restore our relationship? Seems my significant
How can we restore our relationship? Seems my significant other's constantly correcting me which drives me nuts. I am not going to change. I feel my lover has become my mother.… read more
Kelisa Volson
Kelisa Volson
MA
1 satisfied customers
I need your help, I and my boyfriend has been dating for 8
I and my boyfriend has been dating for 8 months and we did have sex. He is a pilot so we are like long distance relationship. We often text and call everyday and sometime we talk about sex or our personal thing. I haven't seen him for two month. We usually joke like when Iam working he said I'm masturbating. I think it's find, just a joke. The thing is today he called me when he was in Uber on the way to the airport whereas I was driving to work. And he ask “are you going to masturbate all day” that made me embarrassed coz the Uber driver could hear. He said it's ok and he even asked the Uber driver “is it ok if my girlfriend masturbating all day” and I hear the drive said “oh yes...”. Then he also talk to me about our private stufff, sex, make love.. while the driver was next by. I feel weird and don't like it. … read more
Rafael-E-Therapist
Rafael-E-Therapist
Director / Psychotherapist
Master\u0027s Degree
424 satisfied customers
H. I have tried but it wont let me send the full question.
I have tried but it wont let me send the full question … read more
Ashleigh
Ashleigh
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
17 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x