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I’m having difficulty with my husband’s laziness. We’ve been…

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Hi I’m having difficulty...

Hi I’m having difficulty with my husband’s laziness. We’ve been married 2 years. We both work he owns a retail business and landscaping business, I am a nurse. He gets home and stays on the couch the rest of the night. He doesn’t flush the toilet even pees on my floor because he won’t stay off his cell phone it’s disgusting and i have to clean up after him, he doesn’t help with the pets, dishes, laundry or anything around the house. He refuses to put clothes in the hamper he just leaves them laying around the house even in our kitchen or living room floor. Then he stays out a few nights a week with friends. i just don’t know how to get him to help me more I feel like I’m raising a child

Expert's Assistant: The Psychologist will know what to do. Is there anything else the Psychologist should be aware of?

No thank you

Submitted: 3 months ago.Category: Relationship
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Answered in 31 minutes by:
1/5/2018
Counselor: TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC replied 3 months ago
TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3,785
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Verified
Somehow he has gotten the idea that you are there to pick up after him clean up for him and take care of every aspect of him and the home. I would go to him and let him know just how difficult this is for you and that you are not willing to be his caretaker, housekeeper Etc, and are willing to do your share in the house but need him to do his share. I am sure you have already said this so speak from a place of how it feels for you that you are also exhausted and running ragged and you cannot come home to this kind of mess and expectation on his part for you to be the sole caretaker of him and all things in the house. It doesn't sound like he has much empathy and feeling toward your space so it's best you let him know what your feelings are and hopefully he can start to see and you can also make the choice not to pick up after him and see how that goes.
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Customer reply replied 3 months ago
Thank you! I have tried to speak with him multiple times and he will say I’m just being dramatic and walk away or make a statement about me having more days off because some weeks I only work 3 days and he always works 5. I had stopped picking up after him for about 3 months and then it was so overwhelming I ended up cleaning up after him because I was so embarrassed to even have anyone visit our home.
Counselor: TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC replied 3 months ago
for whatever reason he doesn't have any motivation to make any changes so it will come down to whether you can continue to live like this or keep talking with him and hoping that he comes around and can understand your feelings and your views. I completely understand how eventually you picked up after him because you couldn't live like that.
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Counselor: TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC replied 3 months ago
Please let me know if I can support you further if all good for now please take a moment to click the rating faces to rate my support. You are not charged again for doing so but without it I will not receive credit for my support. Thanks so much.
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Counselor: TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC replied 3 months ago
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Satisfied Customers: 3,785
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