Relationship

Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

I am in a (I think) relationship with an Alpha male... I say…

Customer Question
I am in a (I...
I am in a (I think) relationship with an Alpha male... I say I think cause I'm not sure what we have anymore.. we met a year ago.. things started great (except he wasnt very affectionate such as kissing, holding hands, etc.)and were good for 9 months then his roommate (who is a female) got into a relationship and basically he had to move cause his roommate & her new moved in boyfriend started drinking and smoking both cigarettes and weed (which he doesn't do and does not like to be around). Well, he ended up at my place cause he had no where else to go & after a couple of weeks I started realizing that him and his roommate had, at one time been more than just best friends because he felt betrayed ... (this was effecting him too much for it NOT to have been more) so the 1st week was exciting.. but a few things bothered me.. when he wanted to have sex the 1st two weeks it was more of a re***** *****ke "could you rub my balls so I don't have to think"... at first I dismissed it cause i didn't realize their relationship had been more that friends... well, after that week he has NOT tried to have sex at all.. after the 1st month I asked if there was something wrong... and he said "he had so much on his mind with needing to find a place and dealing with what happend, sex was not a priority at the moment"
So I left it alone... after the 2nd month passed, and him wanting me to move in with him since my lease is up at the end of January. I tried to bring it up again but not from the sex angle, just wanted to know if we still had a relationship or was i just "a friend where he sleeps and gets fed" as he told someone. He would not discuss it, he actually turned it into an argument. So I left it alone.
Now, it's been 3 months and he's expecting me to move with him (since they are raising my rent if I sign a new lease and I can not afford it) into my own room. So I decided to ask again about the abrupt cut off of sex, he has never been affectionate, so I didn't bring up that I need that also. And his answer really bothered me, he said "I didn't plan on being here, I don't want to be here, I need to focus on getting on my feet and us a place so I can move my stuff from the other house & finish my teachers certification so i can go from substitute teaching to full time and I don't need to complicate things with sex" huh?... I am so confused I feel used... in the 3 months he's been here he's only given $159 towards anything he has no problem talking about anything EXCEPT us. Since I'm on SSI and don't work he expects me to cook, clean, do the laundry, handle the finances, ect. But I am NOT getting anything back from him. I am starting to think I have been manipulated the whole time, and I have started to think that my feelings do NOT matter, feel unloved, afraid to express how I feel or second guess myself that I must have unrealistic expectations and that he seems to undermine the legitimacy of my complaint about lack of intamcy and an answer to if we are a couple by pointing out that his problems are more serious than mine.
Is it possible he will go back to the way he was once things settle down and we have moved or have I just been a gullible fool that got manipulated from the beginning?
Submitted: 6 months ago.Category: Relationship
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Answered in 19 minutes by:
1/2/2018
Counselor: DrJackiePhD, Doctor replied 6 months ago
DrJackiePhD
DrJackiePhD, Doctor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 424
Experience: I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.
Verified
Hi, I am Dr. Jackie, a relationship, professor and therapist. I am sorry that you are in such a difficult situation. Would you like to chat in real time? Or do you prefer for me to just reply? I am on my phone but will switch to my laptop here in about 10 to 15 minutes. I will log back on and see what you have replied, and then I will go from there. I will be back, so please let me know how you want me to respond.
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 6 months ago
I would just prefer the reply... he is sleep and I don't want to wake him up
Counselor: DrJackiePhD, Doctor replied 6 months ago
This answer is protected
Would you like to ask this question?
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.
Was this answer helpful?

How JustAnswer works

step-image
Describe your issueThe assistant will guide you
step-image
Chat 1:1 with a counselorLicensed Experts are available 24/7
step-image
100% satisfaction guaranteeGet all the answers you need
Ask DrJackiePhD Your Own Question
DrJackiePhD
DrJackiePhD
DrJackiePhD, Doctor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 424
424 Satisfied Customers
Experience: I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.

DrJackiePhD is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

TherapistMaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn

Counselor

1,744 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues

Ms Chase

Ms Chase

Life Coach

853 satisfied customers

Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Psychotherapist

468 satisfied customers

Specializing in relationship/family counseling

Dr. Norman Brown

Dr. Norman Brown

Marriage Therapist

427 satisfied customers

Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples

DrJackiePhD

DrJackiePhD

Doctor

424 satisfied customers

I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

366 satisfied customers

Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.

Suzanne

Suzanne

Therapist, LCSW

338 satisfied customers

Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

< Previous | Next >

Related Relationship Questions
I'm listed as an occupant on my roommates lease he made me
I'm listed as an occupant on my roommates lease he made me feel uncomfortable I woke up to him standing over me at 1am he has also kissed me in my sleep and I had to get a friend to come over . He's t… read more
DrJackiePhD
DrJackiePhD
Doctor
Doctoral Degree
424 satisfied customers
I've been seeing this girl for about 3 months, we were
I've been seeing this girl for about 3 months, we were friends before and have recently been going out. The last few nights I've been staying at her house and spending the night. We haven't had sex bu… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
961 satisfied customers
I was in a short relationship with a guy I met online (one
I was in a short relationship with a guy I met online (one month and a half0. After a month he asked me to be his girlfriend, I accepted but after a week I told him that I was moving somewhere else so… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
961 satisfied customers
My bf and I have been dating month. He just got xfered to a
My bf and I have been dating for 8 month. He just got xfered to a new city 2 hours away. And in short we have decided to live together. I have secured a job down there and am moving in 1 week. My prob… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
961 satisfied customers
Greetings: I've been married 40 years, but 4 years ago I met
Greetings: I've been married for almost 40 years, but 4 years ago I met a man 4 yrs. older than me who had never been married. We went out for almost 2 years secretly, then he started working out of s… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
961 satisfied customers
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. Into the
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. Into the 2nd year we moved in together. He spends all his time and attention with male friends and is always buying things for them and gets excited … read more
Dr. Norman Brown
Dr. Norman Brown
Marriage Therapist
Doctoral Degree
427 satisfied customers
My fiance and I have been together for 5 years and engaged
My fiance and I have been together for 5 years and engaged for 8 months. We are both in our early 40's and this would be a second marriage for us both. We have been going through a lot of stress in th… read more
Dr. Z
Dr. Z
Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
1,006 satisfied customers
I dated a girl for 5 months. She is really smart and nerdy.
I dated a girl for 5 months. She is really smart and nerdy. She was new to the city and lived with a guy who was also smart and nerdy. Relationship started off great never a problem. 3 months into our… read more
Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige
Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
847 satisfied customers
Am I crazy to continue this relationship? I took a year and
Am I crazy to continue this relationship? I took a year and half off of dating cause i was unhappy with my life. Time off and exercising I started feeling like me again. I joined a dating site was not… read more
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Adjunct Professor
Master's Degree
1,014 satisfied customers
Ive had a friend for maore than a year. We dated briefly
I've had a friend for maore than a year. We dated briefly until I was offered a new job 900 miles away. We attempted to make the relationship work, but I broke it off soon after I moved. 4 months late… read more
SREED177
SREED177
Family Resource Specialist
Master\u0027s Degree
6 satisfied customers
My fiancee and I are both 32, and have been together almost
My fiancee' and I are both 32, and have been together almost 3 years. We have a good relationship and he is a very affectionate man. He tells me he loves me all the time, cuddles and hugs me, holds my… read more
SREED177
SREED177
Family Resource Specialist
Master\u0027s Degree
6 satisfied customers
I have a roommate that for the last six or seven months has
I have a roommate that for the last six or seven months has had difficulty paying his share of the rent. He pays it but scatters it through out the month. We have had several discussions about this is… read more
Jen Helant
Jen Helant
Bachelor\u0027s Degree
1,254 satisfied customers
My boyfriend doesnt want to sleep over anymore and weve been
My boyfriend doesn't want to sleep over anymore and we've been dating over two years. He also hasn't taken me out on a proper date for about 9 months whereas I'll take him out more often. I don't know… read more
Ask Eleanor
Ask Eleanor
Psychotherapist Family Therapist Author
Master's Degree
39 satisfied customers
im in a complete emotional quandary about my situation, I
i'm in a complete emotional quandary about my situation, I am completely besotted with the man i have been seeing for the past 4 months. I think it is quite clear that he like me a lot but i am unsure… read more
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
Master\u0027s Degree
3,517 satisfied customers
my fiance was in an accident two months ago and in a medically
my fiance was in an accident two months ago and in a medically induced coma for 5 days, since he came home we get along great as usual but there is no sex, his therapist said it was due to trauma and … read more
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
Master\u0027s Degree
3,517 satisfied customers
my ex boyfriend and I are trying to give our relationship another
my ex boyfriend and I are trying to give our relationship another chance. We dated for 5 months, fell madly in love after the 1st month and couldn't keep our hands off each other. We were both very af… read more
Dr. Norman Brown
Dr. Norman Brown
Marriage Therapist
Doctoral Degree
427 satisfied customers
I have known my husband for a year and a half and we have been
I have known my husband for a year and a half and we have been married for a year. We only had sex for like the first month or two then he just stopped having sex with me. Then we got married a few mo… read more
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
Master\u0027s Degree
3,517 satisfied customers
I met a man on eHarmony. We began communication a month ago.
I met a man on eHarmony. We began communication a month ago. We seemed to have a lot in common and wanted to meet. Although, due to my work and vacation schedule, we didn't meet in person until 3 week… read more
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
Master\u0027s Degree
3,517 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x