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I am in a (I think) relationship with an Alpha male... I say…

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I am in a (I...
I am in a (I think) relationship with an Alpha male... I say I think cause I'm not sure what we have anymore.. we met a year ago.. things started great (except he wasnt very affectionate such as kissing, holding hands, etc.)and were good for 9 months then his roommate (who is a female) got into a relationship and basically he had to move cause his roommate & her new moved in boyfriend started drinking and smoking both cigarettes and weed (which he doesn't do and does not like to be around). Well, he ended up at my place cause he had no where else to go & after a couple of weeks I started realizing that him and his roommate had, at one time been more than just best friends because he felt betrayed ... (this was effecting him too much for it NOT to have been more) so the 1st week was exciting.. but a few things bothered me.. when he wanted to have sex the 1st two weeks it was more of a re***** *****ke "could you rub my balls so I don't have to think"... at first I dismissed it cause i didn't realize their relationship had been more that friends... well, after that week he has NOT tried to have sex at all.. after the 1st month I asked if there was something wrong... and he said "he had so much on his mind with needing to find a place and dealing with what happend, sex was not a priority at the moment"
So I left it alone... after the 2nd month passed, and him wanting me to move in with him since my lease is up at the end of January. I tried to bring it up again but not from the sex angle, just wanted to know if we still had a relationship or was i just "a friend where he sleeps and gets fed" as he told someone. He would not discuss it, he actually turned it into an argument. So I left it alone.
Now, it's been 3 months and he's expecting me to move with him (since they are raising my rent if I sign a new lease and I can not afford it) into my own room. So I decided to ask again about the abrupt cut off of sex, he has never been affectionate, so I didn't bring up that I need that also. And his answer really bothered me, he said "I didn't plan on being here, I don't want to be here, I need to focus on getting on my feet and us a place so I can move my stuff from the other house & finish my teachers certification so i can go from substitute teaching to full time and I don't need to complicate things with sex" huh?... I am so confused I feel used... in the 3 months he's been here he's only given $159 towards anything he has no problem talking about anything EXCEPT us. Since I'm on SSI and don't work he expects me to cook, clean, do the laundry, handle the finances, ect. But I am NOT getting anything back from him. I am starting to think I have been manipulated the whole time, and I have started to think that my feelings do NOT matter, feel unloved, afraid to express how I feel or second guess myself that I must have unrealistic expectations and that he seems to undermine the legitimacy of my complaint about lack of intamcy and an answer to if we are a couple by pointing out that his problems are more serious than mine.
Is it possible he will go back to the way he was once things settle down and we have moved or have I just been a gullible fool that got manipulated from the beginning?
Submitted: 1 month ago.Category: Relationship
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Answered in 19 minutes by:
1/2/2018
Counselor: DrJackiePhD, Doctor replied 1 month ago
DrJackiePhD
DrJackiePhD, Doctor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 378
Experience: I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.
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Hi, I am Dr. Jackie, a relationship, professor and therapist. I am sorry that you are in such a difficult situation. Would you like to chat in real time? Or do you prefer for me to just reply? I am on my phone but will switch to my laptop here in about 10 to 15 minutes. I will log back on and see what you have replied, and then I will go from there. I will be back, so please let me know how you want me to respond.
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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
I would just prefer the reply... he is sleep and I don't want to wake him up
Counselor: DrJackiePhD, Doctor replied 1 month ago
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DrJackiePhD
DrJackiePhD, Doctor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 378
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Experience: I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.

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