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I have a neighbor who moved here ten years ago, she used to…

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I have a neighbor who...
I have a neighbor who moved here ten years ago, she used to walk with me, I have not met one person through her. She is wealthy but lost everything and immigrated with her father and family from Germany when she was a child. I found that I invited a senator and them for dinner, she happened to attend church with the senators husband and they made a new museum and this was where her grandaughter worked. A problem I have, we never see them and when serving a St. Michelle wine she then schedules her whole family for a concert at St. Michelle winery, in conversation I told her I liked pastels as art and she made friends with an artist who is using pastels as a new technique, we talked about movies changing to color like the Wizard of Oz where it changes at the end, and she put up a painting that is black and white of flamenco dancing and then funded flamenco troupes to do shows there so the dancers were in color, there is an arts walk annually here and this has been a reason to get involved with the arts here as she has, I told her about patent leather shoes and everyone started wearing them, these are things that are not brought up normally it is very hostile. People like that do not have restraint or knowledge that their behavior is wrong or mean. Ten years of this, and I have not made any friends. They are wealthy so others want to be on their side. She even gave a sarcastic gift to all the neighbors here and I was the or at the short end of the symbolism of the gift. I do not know if any action can be taken, but this has eroded my quality of life and many women do this. What can be done? Things happen so it is too late to confront. I am shocked, and afraid to see her coming. I have heard of people if they can not destroy you or achieve a reaction, will call an ambulance or even block your way or shoot...I am a doctor and adult and do not need to be put down this way. I did not realize until it was too late that I should have avoided her. The other lady before her let moss grow on her roof because someone did not redo landscaping. These are backward women, poor women who married rich men, though this current one he was poor but made money. It is very backward. After many years, this is a large lot so moving is an option, I wish I had done it long ago, but my spouse is unaware this has been going on, as I said it was all between her and me. I have a minister friend who understands this type of thing, maybe I will ask her what if anything to do. Would ignoring her help? We are top people well established and she enjoys separating me from everyone. We were friends before but now everyone is waiting for us to move or less.
Submitted: 7 months ago.Category: Relationship
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Customer reply replied 7 months ago
This is a little bit long, but what to do? These sound like friendly acts, yet they are not discussed beforehand nor treated as surprises for me to enjoy. She may be too busy to complete that part with me, but should I ask? Usually there is nothing this noticeable, or it is obviously positive. So it seems positive but is really kind of "underhanded" and looks nice but the effect is not, it was a private conversation and too much attention. What do you think? I don't need counseling and am healthy, this is also a hypothetical that could happen to anyone! Things I do also catch fire, or start trends, but they are done by others and out of my control and there is nothing wrong with them for instance I set fashion trends or shopping etc. we are that level...
Answered in 21 minutes by:
12/24/2017
Counselor: John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC) replied 7 months ago
John-Michaels
John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 973
Experience: 25+ years helping resolve relational issues.
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Hello, my name is***** want to help you but please give me a moment to review your question and contemplate my answer.
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Customer reply replied 7 months ago
Thank you, ***** ***** is sort of a hypothetical as the people doing the second step such as the dancers and artists are not aware this affects me or has come from those conversations. She may have been busy when that was set up, but if you never meet her friends - should I just ask or pretend I did not notice, or avoid her? I could also ask the artist how they became inspired, it may not take place like I think! I would expect her to say, hey that artist is doing what we talked about, but there is none of that, so she may be busy, but then that is an issue too right? Sorry so long. Let me know and I can ask in parts, this seems like a short question with long background to it.
Customer reply replied 7 months ago
When you suspect bad intentions or backwardsness or how to find which it is, I usually know what is going on. I have had people who think they are doing that in my life, even if not to me, and they do not know enough for that to happen, but it shows less than good intentions. Thanks.
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