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I am having serious problems with my adult (35) daughter,

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who is married (husband not...
I am having serious problems with my adult (35) daughter, who is married (husband not working) and has a child, 2 1/2. I had a bad marriage/bitter divorce and this adult daughter (who was 18 then) showed a lot of anger towards me at that point. After that we had ups and downs but still connected. She married - I contributed a lot to wedding, then had a baby. From the point of my grandchild's birth, I have felt they were mostly keeping me away and tightly controlled visits. I have never pushed my grandchild in a carriage and didn't change her diaper until she was 2 and didn't babysit her (a few hours) until past 2. Six months ago, I found out my daughter was bringing the child to visit people near me but never came to my home. When I confronted her with this, it started a war between my daughter and me and she started getting angry at me and bringing up past incidents from decades ago, painting me out to be emotionally abusive, unstable, and they don't want to be around me now. Mediation was suggested but now this is off the table. Why is my daughter doing this? I have tried to reason with her and, yes, I have gotten angry and frustrated and she uses this against me to justify what she is doing.
Submitted: 7 months ago.Category: Relationship
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Customer reply replied 7 months ago
I hope to get an answer soon, I'm so upset. By the way - you should know this: I am hearing impaired. I feel this is why I'm being pushed away from my granddaughter
Customer reply replied 7 months ago
JustAnswer has always given me immediate support. I'm feeling SO upset not just about my problem but about the delay in response from you. Please let me know if there is a problem with my question
Answered in 4 hours by:
12/15/2017
Counselor: John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC) replied 7 months ago
John-Michaels
John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 954
Experience: 25+ years helping resolve relational issues.
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I am so sorry you have had to wait. I will look over your question I get to it ASAP.
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Counselor: John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC) replied 7 months ago
Once again, I apologize for the delay. Rather than mediation, sounds like you and your daughter could use relationship counseling. The solution is not to push her into allowing you to see your grandchild, but instead to resolve your broken relationship. It sounds to me that you both have had a very rough past. You need to support each other instead of blame each other. Maybe if you could call a truce, not discuss the grandchild situation , And instead work out your past issues, your current issues would be easier to resolve that make sense?
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Customer reply replied 7 months ago
Your reply is very reasonable but I don't feel my grandchild should be bargaining chip or pawn. My relationship with my daughter is never going to be optimal and it's going to damage her child and me to be apart. There are thousands of alienated/estranged grandparents out there, and they did nothing wrong to
their children. I had plenty issues with my parents but I never prevented them from seeing my children. I don't think this is fair. And it's a very subjective situation - my daughter takes offense very easily no matter
how hard to try and she can decide to take away my grandchild from me. I think I need to speak to an atty
as well.
Counselor: John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC) replied 7 months ago
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