Relationship

Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Relationship

What does it mean when a married man is saying he had no…

Customer Question
What does it mean when...
What does it mean when a married man is saying he had no idea what he was doing he wasn’t trying to hurt you he didn’t know what an emotional affair meant or was and I had to explain that was what was basically going on with us and he proceeded to ask how do I stop it from continuing with us then and basically in short he says he’s f**ked up he has issues and created boundaries while we never slept together or went out on dates or in public really outside of mandatory work stuff and lunch breaks we did fool around a little bit once on a lunch break and he has certain boundaries but it makes no sense because he was the one who started revealing all this Shit about how messed up his marriage is and was even beofre him and became friends on a personal level outside of the professional level and he started flirting with me subtlety and I realized I had started liking him and that I might have always liked him because he was always a good boss to me at work and alway there for me in my bad times and he understood me and stuck up for me and such... I have known him now almost 2 full years and we just oddly started talking outside of a professional level like 6 months ago and he initiated it all and I fell hard . I knew I’ve always really cared about him but never told him or anyone or showed it much because he was married .. and I never really allowed myself to think too much about it but once he started the downtalking of his wife and marital problems and how bad things were at home for him then things changed and things grew from there over the months .. flirting sexting texting phone calls video chats ... emotional conversations and expressing deep feeling and emotion for me... then there was a point in time when he comeptley changed and pulled back but said nothing was different he just likes me and that’s why he’s acting weird and that he felt I was rushing him though I never told him leave his wife to be with me.. but we both mutually liked each other and he said he wasn’t ready for any major moves or changes yet he consistently told me how bad his marriage was and even told me best friend shortly after that he didn’t wanna leave because of the kids but if his wife takes the ring off one more time or yells at him one more time that he’s done... and he had told me straight up he was there for the kids only but The him I knew outside of all this is a good person so A part of me believed he really was confused and trying to figure out what to do ..then the last week and a half things have kinda been somewhat normal again other than he Isn’t as emotional with me really at all.. he did however also claim that things are getting worse and worse at home and things are complicated and that’s why he talks to me less and less but last night the conversation Was fine and even flirty and emotional and sexual and then I asked him why he didn’t seem to be much of a kisser and he said kissing is very emotional for me.. you have to remember I’m married and if you and kissed more or kissed at all outside of the one time we fooled around on a lunch break that it would be much harder for us and for him because we would be more emotionally hurt and tied to each other and he said if he was dating me he would.. and he asked me if this made sense and I said no because how is it ok that you sext with me send me pics and videos and vise versa and have me do things to you that your probably aren’t getting anymore at home and also ask me last night if I would do certain things for him obviously implying again he’s not happy and doesn’t get it from the wife... and then say kissing is very emotional and other stuff is not ok because he’s married ... so me blowing you was ok while your married.. you fooling around with me was ok, you telling me how you feel about me and what you wanna do with me to me is ok? Me giving you validation is ok? Anywyas I ended up super hurt of course and told him to just comeptlly leave me alone and do right by his wife because he can’t reverse the damage he’s done to me and that he clearly loves her otherwise he wouldn’t care what he did but the fact that he doesn’t want to do certain things shows to me anywys he loves her ..and he said ok il be here waiting for you when your ready and he says he will be the best friend he can be to me .. he asked me if I wanted to be the secret girlfriend like was that really something I wanted or deserved and I said no of course not and he asked me what did I want I said i want it all or nothing at all.. I waned all of him not some and he said yes and I know you don’t want casual so you and I both know you deserve someone everything and we both know I can’t give you it all so I’m gunna give you nothing but I am gunna continue to be your friend and talk t you and support you and help you if I can.. is he confused? Is he actually that stupid and f**ked up? I’m beyond f**ked yo right now... I love this man and he is a good man a good boss and we get each other but I’m torn because I feel like I was strung along , I’m just utterly confused about everything that was said done and that has gone on with us the last several months up and up until last night... were it was like a breakup without really breaking up because we weren’t truly together or a title. Please someone who is licensed and has expertise in this subject respond ASAP.
Submitted: 2 months ago.Category: Relationship
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Answered in 15 hours by:
12/11/2017
Counselor: Dr Ted Manos, Doctor (MD) replied 2 months ago
Dr Ted Manos
Dr Ted Manos, Doctor (MD)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 839
Experience: Self employed 40 years experience Ob-Gyn
Verified
Hello, and thank you for choosing Justanswer about your concern. I’m Dr Ted Manos M.D., and I’ve counseled patients over the years. I can respond shortly.
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Counselor: Dr Ted Manos, Doctor (MD) replied 2 months ago
You are requesting someone licensed to help you with your difficulty at work. You could require legal consultation as you are potentially a victim of sexual harassment or have someone help you out of a relationship that can explode in your face at anytime. You need to ask yourself what the future looks like for you. Have you not had a relationship outside of your current problem and asked yourself why? You say you love this man, but his handling of his life seems to be unsatisfactory and may be a pattern that will not change. I think you should say options to create a secure future including finding new employment.
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 2 months ago
No I don’t want nor need legal help. I want opinions on what he’s thinking and feeling
Counselor: Dr Ted Manos, Doctor (MD) replied 2 months ago
This answer is protected
Would you like to ask this question?
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.
Ask Dr Ted Manos Your Own Question
Dr Ted Manos
Dr Ted Manos
Dr Ted Manos, Doctor (MD)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 839
839 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Self employed 40 years experience Ob-Gyn

Dr Ted Manos is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

TherapistMaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn

Counselor

1,720 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues

Ms Chase

Ms Chase

Life Coach

853 satisfied customers

Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Psychotherapist

468 satisfied customers

Specializing in relationship/family counseling

Dr. Norman Brown

Dr. Norman Brown

Marriage Therapist

427 satisfied customers

Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

366 satisfied customers

Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.

Suzanne

Suzanne

Therapist, LCSW

338 satisfied customers

Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

DrJackiePhD

DrJackiePhD

Doctor

338 satisfied customers

I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.

< Previous | Next >

Related Relationship Questions
I've been with my bf for over 8 months and we started out in
I've been with my bf for over 8 months and we started out in a pretty unique situation. He was in the middle of an intense and expensive custody battle with his ex wife. They've been divorced for 10yr… read more
ASacks
ASacks
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
1 satisfied customers
Iam looking for help please with my anger issue it's really
Hi there My name is ***** ***** looking for help please with my anger issue it's really frustrated me iam about to post my partner because off this matter I can't get rid off it 2 days ago I went back… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
172 satisfied customers
I have a situation about someone whom I was in contact for a
I have a situation about someone whom I was in contact for a week and I was wondering if you can help me with that … read more
Dr.G.
Dr.G.
Counseling Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
446 satisfied customers
There, I have a dating/relationship question? is it the
second opinion] Hey there, I have a dating/relationship question? is it the place? thanks in advance, Josef. … read more
ASacks
ASacks
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
1 satisfied customers
My husband's parents are in their late 60 ties. They have no
My husband's parents are in their late 60 ties. They have no financial sense and spend more than they earn. They always expect my husband to support them financially but refuse to reduce their budget … read more
S. August Abbott
S. August Abbott
Etiquette consultant
Doctoral Degree
260 satisfied customers
My partner is jealous of my relationship with my grown son.
My partner is jealous of my relationship with my grown son. He told him to P**** off when he visited me from interstate. And now he thinks he has done nothing wrong … read more
ASacks
ASacks
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
1 satisfied customers
I'm a woman married to a good man but lately I find myself
I'm a woman married to a good man but lately I find myself thinking more and more about my ex. I miss him and if not for my mother I might still be with him...I know my husband loves me but lately I'm… read more
ASacks
ASacks
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
1 satisfied customers
Is he pulling away, or busy and still interested?” I'm
Is he pulling away, or busy and still interested?”Hi. I'm chandy. I have another relationship question. I sensed the guy I've been talking to Long - distance is “ pulling away “. He doesn't voice mess… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
172 satisfied customers
Bit embarrassing but my partner and I are having some
Hello,Bit embarrassing but my partner and I are having some trouble in the bedroom and it is causing problems.Basically we are both virgins and want to do it but struggle to get it in.Sorry but would … read more
ASacks
ASacks
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
1 satisfied customers
My wife and I have the same argument, about once a week, and
My wife and I have the same argument, about once a week, and it has been going on for 22 years. I say something. She feels compelled to tell me her alternative view, or her opinion, or why she does it… read more
S. August Abbott
S. August Abbott
Etiquette consultant
Doctoral Degree
260 satisfied customers
I just started dating this man about a month ago. We have
I just started dating this man about a month ago. We have this incredible connection and comfortability around each other. We both have been amazed at how strong the bond is. We are both brutally hone… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
172 satisfied customers
Even not sure from where to start. Maybe more than a month
Hello, Even not sure from where to start. Maybe more than a month ago I meet a girl. I didn't have a lot of girls during my life, but because of general people behavior with their big EGO, I don't rea… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
172 satisfied customers
From what I remember in my dream, I went to visit him in his
From what I remember in my dream, I went to visit him in his room (hospital setting) because I've missed him and recall I had to match my emotions with someone in order to see him. I believe the emoti… read more
ASacks
ASacks
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
1 satisfied customers
To -Michaels. The story I told before. Movie I went with
To John-Michaels. The story I told before. Movie I went with girl, I planned to watch with my friend who brought her to our company. Instead I went with her. And he become angry. We don't speak now. P… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
172 satisfied customers
I have a guy been dating for a month He asked me for 2000
I have a guy been dating for a month He asked me for 2000 dollars to make rent He seems like a good guy but I do not feel this is a normal request when dating for such a short time… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
172 satisfied customers
Thanks for speaking with me. Well I guess I'm just hoping to
Hello, thanks for speaking with me. Well I guess I'm just hoping to get an opinion on the possibility of a recent relationship of mine being salvageable … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
172 satisfied customers
In college and met a guy through a mutual organization. We
In college and met a guy through a mutual organization. We hung out almost everyday and became very very close. He was always hung up on his high school girlfriend and I was interested in him and alwa… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
172 satisfied customers
I am a fairly new divorcee who started dating a man a few
I am a fairly new divorcee who started dating a man a few months ago. We really care about each other and he treats me respectfully ***** ***** a very kind heart. We both have pretty severe depression… read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x