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I have been married for 8.5 years and with the same guy for…

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I have been married for...
I have been married for 8.5 years and with the same guy for nearly 12 years since I was 18. We have a 2.5 year old child together. I've always been comfortable with him but have always wondered if there is something more put there. He's kind and reliable provides for us makes me feel safe but there is just no spark there anymore and I wonder if there ever was. He's not very passionate and very rarely makes the first move even after 11 years. People have always said he worships the ground i walk on but I never see it. I've also noticed recently that i have no desire to have sex with him and i very rarely feel desired by him or wanted sexually
I've had the opportunity to cheat on him several times and while he wanted to i never have because of being married. 6 weeks ago I moved out of our house as I couldn't stand it any longer. Yesterday was the first time he asked me to move back in in 6 weeks!!!! He's hardly there for me or our daughter now and I'm finding I don't really miss him. There is also a guy at work that I have found I have feelings for and who possibly feels the same way and it excites me. My husband and I have been trying date nights once a week since I left and while it is very pleasant and we get on well together there is no excitement. This has happened before in our relationship and we've made an effort and then just fall back in to old habits. I'm worried if I move back home it will be great for a few months and then I'll be back to where I started and my daughter will be even more confused!! Do I just ask for a divorce now?
Submitted: 7 months ago.Category: Relationship
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Answered in 33 minutes by:
12/5/2017
Counselor: John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC) replied 7 months ago
John-Michaels
John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 954
Experience: 25+ years helping resolve relational issues.
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Counselor: TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC replied 7 months ago
TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3,889
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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It sounds to me by what you report above, that you are clear on how you feel. You can get along okay, but don't feel any passion or excitement to be in a marriage/romantic relationship with him. Maybe the thing to start thinking about is whether you feel you are mean to be friends/co parents and remain committed and loving parents to your child. Only you can decide if you are ready for divorce but if you read your words above, you sound clear on what this relationship is and what it isn't.

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Counselor: TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC replied 7 months ago
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