Relationship

Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

I have an issue with my daughter's father and need some

Customer Question
I have an issue...

I have an issue with my daughter's father and need some rational advice

Expert's Assistant: The Psychologist will know what to do. Please tell me everything you can so the Psychologist can help you best.

A guy I used to date and I decided 9 years ago to have a child. We have a beautiful little girl but have not been couple. I want this and my daughter want this badly. Though he has had other women it seems that he wants this to as recently he mentioned for us to move in with him but I was so flabbergasted I didn't say a word and got off the phone. Unfortunately that day my daughter told me that his friend slash girlfriend asked her what her phone number and address was. I asked him to ask the girl not to ask my daughter personal questions and he said she didn't. But after speaking with my daughter he did agree that my daughter was telling the truth and that he would talk to the girl. When he did talk to his girl friend she denied it and he called my daughter a liar in essence and saying we had to sit down and talk about it. I was Furious and filed for full custody. The hearing is not until January but we are at odds suddenly when things were just becoming more clothes with him and my daughter is very disappointed but is happy because he is no longer taking her around that girl friend. How do I find out if he's angry forever before the hearing? And could his feelings have changed so quickly from just wanting us to move in so he could be there for our daughter more?. I am very confused

Expert's Assistant: Is there anything else important you think the Psychologist should know?

We are both 50 years old now. I am hoping that his need for romance takes a backseat now to his desire to be a good dad. I think our age is irrelevant. My daughter prays every night for us to be a family Under One Roof.

Submitted: 9 months ago.Category: Relationship
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 9 months ago
The girlfriend that asked my daughter where she lives and what her phone number is ***** the same girl he was with and engaged to when we decided to have our daughter. He said that she wouldn't or couldn't have his child. She later told me that she wanted to but was waiting for him to get his stuff together. She told me that she did not want my daughter in her life when my daughter was an infant and he spent years trying to get her to accept our daughter and only about 6 months ago did she agree to have our daughter in her life. Though my daughter does not feel any care or concern from her in any way. I know that she was that's my daughter because she maybe the reason she doesn't have a child of her own and she is beyond 50 now. Our daughter also said that on two separate occasions the girlfriend hit her when her father wasn't looking in a very discreet way with an object. We chose not to tell her father this because he would only make it look as though we were trying to get her out of the picture so I had to wait for more concrete evidence that she does not care for our daughter. And that came with the questions that she lied about and I'm wondering if he feels that she is worth keeping around when she caused a huge problem with custody and lied to him
Customer reply replied 9 months ago
Posted by JustAnswer at customer's request) Hello. I would like to request the following Expert Service(s) from you: Live Phone Call.
Customer reply replied 9 months ago
Let me know if you need more information, or send me the service offer(s) so we can proceed.
Customer reply replied 9 months ago
I realize after reading this voice texting is not coming out grammatically correct or correct at all. I apologize. And I think our age is relevant not irrelevant
Answered in 16 hours by:
12/4/2017
Counselor: John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC) replied 9 months ago
John-Michaels
John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1,033
Experience: 25+ years helping resolve relational issues.
Verified

Welcome to JustAnswer! I am a Licensed Professional Counselor. I am reviewing your question and will reply in a moment.

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Counselor: John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC) replied 9 months ago

I have offered a a phone call if you are still interested in that. If you wish, I will respond on here, It is up to you.

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 9 months ago
call pls. driving
Customer reply replied 9 months ago
I already signed up for a membership and can't afford another $34 for this question. Please post response I will read when I arrive at work
Counselor: John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC) replied 9 months ago

I understand. Give me a couple minutes to gather my thoughts.

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 9 months ago
I understand. I don't really want to know if he'll be mad forever. That's not something you can guess but I'm more M after weather we can return to where we were just before this happened. On the same day it happened we were communicating better than we have in years.
Customer reply replied 9 months ago
Voice texting. Please excuse spelling and grammar
Counselor: John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC) replied 9 months ago

I am not a lawyer, but first of all, I would think unless you can prove there is a danger to your daughter, the courts are not going to grant full custody. As I said though, I am not a lawyer.

I am afraid this is going to interrupt your relationship. It is hard to go through a court battle without hard feelings. Honestly, it sounds as if he does care for your daughter. I'm not sure taking her away from him would be best for her.

As far as going further in the relationship, as long as the other woman is in his life, I'm not sure that is feasible. I would require he break it off with her before going any further,

Does that make sense at all or did I just complicate it?

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 9 months ago
He had already changed his relationship with the other woman to just friends. He told his sister in front of my daughter that they were just friends. And then he said he wanted to spend more time with Ruby and wanted to have a sit-down talk with me. Though we didn't talk he said over the phone but Ruby and I should move in with him. You did not complicated but Ruben did not enter our daughter's life until she was 5 years old. The girl kept begging him to relinquish his rights and he would stay away for two years at a time. With no communication or child support whatsoever. Then this past summer he spent his entire two-week vacation on a road trip with the girl and spent only three hours with our daughter prior to leaving. He had extra visits Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays with our daughter for 2 hours after school which he abruptly gave up last year when we ended the co-parenting counseling. He only kept them up during counseling and for a couple of weeks after
Customer reply replied 9 months ago
I I really am only concerned about the girls lie about my daughter. Do you think that he would just forgive her for lying on our daughter and then lying to him about not having ask those things. When she clearly did. And now she does not take my daughter around her. This is been an on-again-off-again relationship for over 10 years where they break up and get back together usually after he attempts another relationship and it fails. I just want to make sure that you feel that this isn't a situation that he would choose over our daughter. Thank you
Counselor: John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC) replied 9 months ago

It doesn't sound like he deserves to see her. Nor does he deserve you. It sounds like he is interested in each of you only when it is convenient to him. With that said, I would guess he will pick up where he left off only if it is convenient for him.

As far as him choosing his gf over your daughter, I believe when it is convenient for him he will. it is sad, but hat is probably the kind of relationship your daughter is going to be stuck with.

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 9 months ago
do you think tge judge will see his inconsistent behavior and not grant him more time? i alsi had to address his online gambling isdue. he hast gone online for the past 2 visits my daughter said. and he has started to bathe her after stopping for months on her weekends with him. anything to reassure me
Counselor: John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC) replied 9 months ago
Did you say he has started to bathe her?
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Counselor: John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC) replied 9 months ago
I hope I was a help to you. Will you do me a favor and give me a five star rating for my answer so I can be paid for it. If you have any comments or questions please post them here. I want to help you.Thank you!
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 9 months ago
no. he STOPPED her bathing for no reason over the whole weekend. she would return unbathed and her hair not brushed. i put that in my complaint. he has resumed her baths. she showers alone. he jus slacked off on EVERYTHING. she had boring bisits of just tv watching and came home unkempt until i filed those papers. now its back to normal and my daughter is happy.
he is not a molester . when he believed the girl my daughter did notnwant to see him for even a visit which is why i filed.
Customer reply replied 9 months ago
5 stars
Customer reply replied 9 months ago
what about the girl asking my daughter about where she lives and her phone number. she did this when her dad wasnt around. she was snooping bevaude she cant trust him. inapprpriate in your eyes to question a child that way?
Counselor: John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC) replied 9 months ago
Well, it depends on why she questioned her. It could have been just small talk. I would think your best bet against him would be his abandonment and failure to pay child support. All that said, most kids are better off with both parents in their life.
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 9 months ago
ok. it was not small talk becsuse she flat out denied asking these things.
Counselor: John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC) replied 9 months ago
I just cannot imagine what she wanted with his information. I am figuring that if you receive this
I just cannot imagine what she wanted with is it from Mike. I am figuring that is your issue too.
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 9 months ago
he must gave told her we were going to move in with him. and he has cheated on her so many times that she goes through his phone log. im sure she wanted to reconcile his calls to our daughter with what she found on his phone as they recently stopped dating and became just friends. he has cheated on her throughout their relationship. they were just engaged when we chose to have a child. i had no idea he was still seeing her. he told our therapist that i was the only 1 he wver wanted to have a child with. sounds like a lie. hes chronic liar. son of anusive alcoholic mother. he does not trust women so he lies to and manipulates them until we find him out. i want him in our life still because he makes my daughter happy and life would better if we were a family under 1 roof.
Counselor: John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC) replied 9 months ago
I agree, he needs to be a part of your daughters life. I personally do not agree you have to go through an I agree, he needs to be a part of your daughters lot. I personally do not agree you haveTwo and share a home with him though. I do not believe you can trust m to and share a home with him though. I do not believe you can trust him. It I s your life though. I really do hope the best for you.
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Counselor: John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC) replied 9 months ago
This answer is protected
Would you like to ask this question?
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.
Customer reply replied 9 months ago
my daughter prays every night for the 3 of us to live in the same home. he was just ready to make that very step. i think he will come around again. he asked me half dozen times to talk before he involved this woman in our daughters life 6 mos ago. i refused out of fear he would say he wanted to marry her. thats not what he wanted to say
Customer reply replied 9 months ago
he wanted to tell me he wanted to spebd more time together for our dsughter but i alienated him for months. but until then our daughter had not been around that woman once in 3 years.
Was this answer helpful?

How JustAnswer works

step-image
Describe your issueThe assistant will guide you
step-image
Chat 1:1 with a counselorLicensed Experts are available 24/7
step-image
100% satisfaction guaranteeGet all the answers you need
Ask John-Michaels Your Own Question
John-Michaels
John-Michaels
John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1,033
1,033 Satisfied Customers
Experience: 25+ years helping resolve relational issues.

John-Michaels is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

TherapistMaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn

Counselor

1,744 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues

Ms Chase

Ms Chase

Life Coach

853 satisfied customers

Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Psychotherapist

468 satisfied customers

Specializing in relationship/family counseling

Dr. Norman Brown

Dr. Norman Brown

Marriage Therapist

427 satisfied customers

Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples

DrJackiePhD

DrJackiePhD

Doctor

385 satisfied customers

I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

366 satisfied customers

Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.

Suzanne

Suzanne

Therapist, LCSW

338 satisfied customers

Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

< Previous | Next >

Related Relationship Questions
I am wondering if this is normal for a father. He is
I am wondering if this is normal for a father. He is separated from his children's mother. When his daughter was 8 he was going to pick her up at school and said "Oooh I have butterflies". That seemed… read more
TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn
Counselor
Master's Degree
1,744 satisfied customers
It's kind of a story. I was 28 at the time when I met my 25
I was 28 at the time when I met my 25 year old boyfriend. I didn't want to date him at first. I was his boss and I thought he was too young. But he acted very mature and came on strong. We started to date and he made me feel amazing. He would only look at me. He told me he needed me and loved me unconditionally and that no one was like me. A few months into the relationship I got pregnant. He didn't want to be a dad yet and asked for an abortion. I thought I'd end up a single mom if I kept the baby this early in a relationship so we got an abortion and I went on birth control. Exactly 1 year later I got pregnant again. He called to make an appointment for another abortion. I told him no way I'd never do that again! So I chose to keep the baby. At first he was so mad. He swore I did it on purpose. But eventually he came around. 2 weeks after we announced our pregnancy at work I was let go. He told me I should sue them for treating me unfairly. He was right so I did. Then he got mad that I filed a law suit. He told me what will the company think of him if he takes his gf to the “circle of excellence trips” if I tried sueing them? Then I discovered I was high risk pregnancy. I was in and out of the hospital. At first he was attentive but then it seemed like it was annoying him. So my parents had me stay with them so they could take me to the hospital and he could rest. While I was at their house he texted me saying he wanted me to move out. He said he wasn't in love with me anymore, his life wasn't improving with me in it and he needed to grow, he was done with me. At this point I had just turned 30 and I was 7 months pregnant. So he left and stayed with him mom and didn't even help me pack. Fast forward to the birth of our daughter. He missed it because he lives 2 hours away. She was born a month early bc of the complications and almost died. I had an emergency c section and needed two blood transfusions. He wouldn't stay over night at the hospital to keep an eye on the baby (I couldn't move) and she was in NICU. I thought he had broken up with me Bc he just wasn't ready to be a dad. He visited her every once in a while but then would get mad and tell me he wanted “alone time” and over nights. He started this when she was 2 months old and premature... … read more
Carlett F
Carlett F
Therapist
Master's Degree
79 satisfied customers
My current boyfriend who has a 17 year old said to me today
Hi Jen, My current boyfriend who has a 17 year old said to me today that we will make a plan tonight if he doesn't do anything with her. (he has split custody). He usually drops her off at friends hou… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master's Degree
969 satisfied customers
Deeply in love with my girlfriend and we have been living
Deeply in love with my girlfriend and we have been living together for the last 4-5 months, she has daughter and I decided to accept her as my own when I decided to have her and her daughter move in w… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master's Degree
969 satisfied customers
My fiance and I have been together for about a year and a half.
My fiance and I have been together for about a year and a half. We are planning on getting married in May. I have two daughters from a previous relationship who are seven and nine. Their father and I … read more
Jean
Jean
Psychotherapist
Master's Degree
332 satisfied customers
Hello. I was looking for some advice and any help would be
Hello. I was looking for some advice and any help would be much appreciated. A little about myself. I am in my twenties and have a decent job and a house. I save a lot of my money for the future. Abou… read more
SREED177
SREED177
Family Resource Specialist
Master's Degree
6 satisfied customers
My ex and I broke up right after I had our son due to his affair,
My ex and I broke up right after I had our son due to his affair, so I left and asked for a divorce. While it was hard to do, I have moved on and am now dating and am happy. We are now going through a… read more
SREED177
SREED177
Family Resource Specialist
Master's Degree
6 satisfied customers
My ex was able to move ob seamlessly, why wont he let me do
At 24, after a year and half of marriage, I found myself, a widower and pregnant with my first child and alone. Knowing how very supportive this then very good male friend of mine was to me during my … read more
Kevin Kappler
Kevin Kappler
Clinical Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
353 satisfied customers
my marraige is in trouble. my husband has a weird closeness
my marraige is in trouble. my husband has a weird closeness with his daughter that I find inappropriate. When she visits- She walks around nude in front of me and her father. He said that he raised he… read more
Cathy
Cathy
Master's Degree
221 satisfied customers
my problem is my baby girl is almost 4 months old, and the
my problem is my baby girl is almost 4 months old, and the father and I are not together. I need a few hours to myself this Saturday to take care of something so I ask her father to watch her. He does… read more
TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn
Counselor
Master's Degree
1,744 satisfied customers
Dating a 56 year old man since 2004. His daughter lives with
Dating a 56 year old man since 2004. His daughter lives with him. We at one point were moving along as to get married until his daughter starting running away sleeping with men. She was 14 then and no… read more
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
Master's Degree
3,517 satisfied customers
Regarding my previous question, the employee is 13 and he lied
Regarding my previous question, the employee is 13 and he lied about having her mobile number because she bought a secret phone (after her parents took hers away from her)and asked him to keep it a se… read more
Dear Debra
Dear Debra
Advice Columnist
Earning Associate degree
1,299 satisfied customers
I was dating a married man for 2 years, from November 2008
I was dating a married man for 2 years, from November 2008 until Dec. 30th 2010 ( we've known one another for 18 years, but had been involved on and off since 2003). For 9 months we had sex using the … read more
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
Master's Degree
3,517 satisfied customers
My son had a serious relationship with a girl. They had their
My son had a serious relationship with a girl. They had their first baby when they were both 21, and their second when they were both 23. They were married after the second child was born. Originally … read more
Cathy
Cathy
Master's Degree
221 satisfied customers
almost a year ago my boyfriend let the house in the morning
almost a year ago my boyfriend let the house in the morning while i was sleeping,when i woke up i went to my apartment and came back to see him and an old friend of his family was there from the beach… read more
Ms Chase
Ms Chase
Life Coach
853 satisfied customers
MY 23 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER IS DATING A 32 YEAR OLD DIVORCED MAN
MY 23 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER IS DATING A 32 YEAR OLD DIVORCED MAN WITH A CHILD...HOW CAN I ENCOURAGE HER TO DATE A SINGLE CATHOLIC MAN CLOSER TO HER AGE?… read more
KimberlyF
KimberlyF
High School or GED
554 satisfied customers
I have a daughter and her father walked away from us after ...
I have a daughter and her father walked away from us after coming to see my daughter every week without fail for 6 years. The father met someone else and had a new baby. The father never even told us … read more
KimberlyF
KimberlyF
High School or GED
554 satisfied customers
Just started the divorce process. My new partner and my ...
Just started the divorce process. My new partner and my child get along with each other very well. In fact they are best friends and she even asks for him when she was feeling sick. Now my soon to be … read more
Ms Chase
Ms Chase
Life Coach
853 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x