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My boyfriend kicked me out of the apartment because he found…

Hi, my boyfriend kicked...

Hi, my boyfriend kicked me out of the apartment because he found out that I was meeting with a guy friend of mine to talk. I didn't tell him I was meeting up with him and he found out because he tracked my location through Google maps. He called me and asked me about it and I lied telling him that I wasn't with him. He kept asking me and I finally told him where I was and with who. He was upset that I lied continuously but he gave me a few days and said he would forgive me. We were fine but then one day that same week I had a dance practice and the guy I was talking to that day was there although I told my bf exactly where I was and informed him that he might be there he spazzed because my dance practice delayed and I wasn't on my way home already. I told him I was leaving as soon as I could but he told me to not come home and that he was done so I waited at the bus station because he was clearly intoxicated and I thought to myself that it would be better if I gave him space. He started to guilt trip me about him being depressed and having suicidal thoughts so I told him not to do that and to get some sleep that I would be going to my mom's and will talk to him the next day. He called me and swore at me and told me he was done with me. I get another call and he said he drove all the way to my mom's and was waiting for me outside to talk and I became very mad because he didn't take my word and drove intoxicated. I was still at the bus station so I told him to go home and leave me alone. The next day I go to our apartment and we talk and agree that we shouldn't live together. I packed my things and moved in back with my mom. A few days after the move I contact him because I'm extremely depressed. I missed him and wanted to get back together. He's my best friend and we have been together for three years. we talk about everything that happened, he tells me he doesn't trust me that he's lost all motivation and purpose in life but I suggest we start new and work together on every aspect of our relationship. that we reconnect and after a few days of talking about this we start seeing each other and trying. then after a week or two of us trying he gets into the same mindset from before and tells me there's no hope and how he can't seem to shake off the fact that I lied and that we're better off without each other that he doesn't see a future anymore and that he doesn't feel emotionally connected anymore. we go into the same conversation about his doubts and my will to fight for us and how I want it to work. after three days of doing this and him barely talking to me, he invited me over after work and we talk again about everything and he tells me that his instinct is to not trust me but he still loves me and we reconcile and try again. this time its more committed. he came to my mom's birthday, he visited my father's grave with me, we went to an event together, he spoke about living together again someday, he hinted towards a Christmas present he got me. but on Sunday after spending the day together he told me that he doesn't trust me and doesn't know how to shake that off because he believes I cheated on him with that guy and that it's weird to him that all of the sudden I want to be sexually intimate with him again when back in time when we were together and living together our sex life had diminished. after him going in circles again he said it would be best to call it a night and I broke down and as I did he became frustrated and erratic. He started to break down and tell me that he isn't happy and that nothing can make him happy. that he is only alive for his mother and sisters sake. He told me that I should leave and I shouldn't expect a fairy tale ending to the night. As I was leaving I got close for a hug and kiss he told me to stop and I told him I just want to make sure that I could still talk to him the next day and he didn't say anything. I get home and text him I'm home and no reply. the next morning I say good morning an

Expert's Assistant: The Psychologist will know what to do. Is there anything else important you think the Psychologist should know?

My boyfriend has and a history of depression, I have been his backbone and I have been emotionally strong for him despite my own emotional needs. I have always out his emotional needs first and when he found out I lied to him his world felt like it was ending because he felt like the only thing that kept him going (me) had betrayed him.

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Answered in 29 minutes by:
11/22/2017
John-Michaels
John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 954
Experience: 25+ years helping resolve relational issues.
Verified
Hello! My name is John. I am sorry you are going through this. I know you probably don’t want to here this, but from what I gather, you are both too immature for a serious relationship. I don’t mean that you can’t make it work, but you do need to back off and slow down. Honestly, you probably could use some couples therapy. I don’t blame Home for being frustrated. You have apologized. He doesn’t seem to want to let it go.
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I do think you need to avoid living together for the time being. Just go out together or get together once a week.
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As far as your next move, you need to let him make the next move. If you have to remind him he cares for you, there is something wrong. If he really cares, he will come around. I do believe you need to take it slow even if he does desire to get back together.
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Dis that make sense to you?
John-Michaels
John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 954
Experience: 25+ years helping resolve relational issues.
Verified
John-Michaels and 87 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
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Customer reply replied 8 months ago
Hi John, thank you for your response. I appreciate your feedback and opinion. It does make sense. Right now it's not under my control since he has told me he needs space right now. I have decided to give him space trying to be hopeful that he will come around and we will get back together. Although I am also afraid that might now happen which is why I am sad and scared at the moment. We were going to spend Christmas together with our families and he hinted on a Christmas present he got me. I have also bought tickets to see a ballet show with him and now of course I don't know what to do or expect of this since he wants space. I am trying to gather meaning of all of this and it's driving me insane.
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