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I was in a relationship with this girl for a year. It was…

Hey so i was...

Hey so i was in a relationship with this girl for a year. It was extremely serious and we were planning on getting married. Its kind of a crazy situation. Would you like me to explain.

Expert's Assistant: The Psychologist will know what to do. Please tell me everything you can so the Psychologist can help you best.

Ok so me and my girlfreind broke up 2 months ago. Reason being was because i cheated. Now i didnt meet up with anyone, i didnt have sex or kiss anyone. She just saw me flirting on dating apps with other females. I cut it off before she found out but she left me.

Expert's Assistant: Is there anything else important you think the Psychologist should know?

Ever since the breakup we seen each other almost every weekend. We would spend nights together and have the time of our lives. We would spend all nights talking on the phone and tell each other how much we miss each other and how much we love each other. Then i would go back to work and she would want nothing to do with me all over again. Then we would see each other and its all love. Then hate me again after i leave. Rinse and repeat. Same cycle never ending.

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Customer reply replied 8 months ago
Now she hates me and doesnt want to talk to me. She says shes in a new realtionship but i know for a fact thats a lie.
Customer reply replied 8 months ago
Posted by JustAnswer at customer's request) Hello. I would like to request the following Expert Service(s) from you: Live Phone Call.
Customer reply replied 8 months ago
Let me know if you need more information, or send me the service offer(s) so we can proceed.
Customer reply replied 8 months ago
She doesnt want me contacting her anymore and wants space. She says if i contact her again she will block me.
Answered in 5 hours by:
11/18/2017
TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3,889
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Verified
She feels betrayed by your behavior and this is evidenced by her coming back and forth with her feelings. one minute she is all love and desiring to be with you and the other she is pulling away not wanting you to contact her. This is a common reaction when people feel betrayed. The best you can do is to pull back and not contact her and let her sort out these feelings and if she can work through these feelings of mistrust on her own by having space and time it is quite possible that on her own she reaches back out and desires to be with you. I know it is hard but I would respect her feelings and not contact her. If you desire to be in a relationship with her the best thing you can do is to honor that request and let her work things out and come back to you in her own way and in her own time.
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Customer reply replied 8 months ago
how long do you think its best for me to leave her alone. Im really scared if i do leave her alone she will think i dont care or just move one without me. Its sucks because this is the girl i want to marry.
I understand that is your feeling it is a normal response but it generally doesn't work that way. If you can give her the time and space she might have the opportunity to miss you but if you're always reaching out she just feels annoyed rather than respected with her wishes. I know how hard it is and I know that you want to marry her but just try this for a bit and play it out and let's see how it goes. There is no way to put a timetable on it but the longer you can give her the better off it will be.
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Customer reply replied 8 months ago
Well in two weeks its supposed to be our anniversary and i invited her to my work holiday party which in two weeks. Should i wait until then to try and reach out her again. I also already shipped her a diamond necklace a while ago which should arrive at her door in a week or two.
I think that is a great timeline. Wait it out don't contact her until right before and then you can send her a simple text letting her know that you're hoping that she will come to the party with you. And we'll see if she reaches out when she gets your gift.
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Customer reply replied 8 months ago
Ok so in your expert opnion what do you think my chances are.
if you can give her the time and space that she is asking for that I believe your chances are good because in that time she has the potential to miss you. There is no way to truly predict but generally in my experience and what I have seen over the years is that when space is given people can come back and reconnect.
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Customer reply replied 8 months ago
Ok thank you i feel much better now. Even when she says theirs no hope i know its just her anger. Thanks for giving me some confidence.
My pleasure. I truly hope it works out for you. Please take a moment to click the rating faces to rate my support you are not charged again for doing so it just allows me to receive credit for my time. Thanks so much
TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3,889
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Verified
TherapistJen and 87 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
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Customer reply replied 7 months ago
Hey so me and her talked this past Saturday. She said to me "when i come back to you, its going to be on my timing not yours". I then procceded to leave her alone until today. Today we talked and the conversation started off normally, i talked about all the diffrent things im doing in my life and how im trying to better myself for her. Then the conversation takes a turn for the worst. She states how she cant forgive and how she cant go back to someone who betrayed her. She says she is seeing other people but im pretty sure thats a lie as i asked her to swear it to me and she couldnt. The other day it seemed like i had hope when she said it will be on her timing. Know she tells me i have no hope and that i should give up. Also i gave her all the passwords to my accounts in the past and she used to sign in and check on me. I let her know that i can see her signing in. And know she doesnt do it anymore. Is all hope really lost?
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