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For the last four years I have been almost in love with an

older man in my religion...
For the last four years I have been almost in love with an older man in my religion. For 3 years he stared at me very intensely. I tried to stare back during those years to signal I liked him too. Then one time I went up to him and said hello and he froze up. He is also my Dad's friend. He is 21 years older than me. A month ago I broke my religion and called a psychic to figure out how he feels about me. I talked to two different psychics. The first one told me he is very attracted to me, but his kids and grandkids have spent all his money, and he just can't afford to get married again. That one told me that he would like to get married to me in the afterlife, which my religion calls the Paradise Earth. The second psychic told me that there is a chance he would get married again, but that I would have to court him because he is extremely shy. I think the man should court the woman, not the other way around. I also told one of the biggest mouths in our congregation that I liked him, in maybe an attempt for him to know I like him. I just feel like this crush has gone on for too long and I just don't know what to do about it anymore. I feel like if this were the right man/right situation it would not be this hard.
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Answered in 15 minutes by:
10/23/2017
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 402
Experience: Owner and Psychotherapist at Self-Employed, Private Practice
Verified

Good evening and thank you so much for your message. I realize it's difficult to reach out. Please know I honor your courage.

My name is ***** ***** I am a psychotherapist in the Metro Boston area.

Hum, very interesting situation. My goodness, yes, I imagine your frustration as this has been going on for three years! I also imagine if the two of you were to be together, something would have happened by this point. I'm unsure of how your faith manages dating and marriage but I have no doubt this gentleman is very aware of the process and truly needs to move forward if this is, indeed, what he wants. I also have no doubt he is very attracted to you.

I agree with you and do believe if this were the right man/situation, you would not have to see psychics to receive clarity about how things will progress.

If you are ready to marry and want to date, please refocus your interest on someone who will immediately reciprocate. I sadly feel this older man is a bit of a dead end--for whatever reason.

Have I answered your question? Is there anything else I can do to assist you further? I want to ensure you are pleased with my service. I also gently request you provide a star rating for me. Of course, we can continue to talk after the rating is provided.

Please take good care of yourself and feel free to contact me with any questions you may have.

Warm regards,

Therapist Leslie

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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
I think it could be a dead end too. The problem is that I feel if I could just break his shyness maybe it could be something good.
Customer reply replied 1 month ago
I feel very guilty that I called a psychic because it is against my religion. I talked to a man on a relationship site and he told me I should keep trying with this older man. I just hate that it is SO hard......lol. Plus I have had a lot of fantasies about this older man, then when I see him at church I feel like I have already had sex with him.

Good evening,

I understand how calling the psychic made you feel guilty and I imagine the feelings you have toward this older man frighten you as well. Please know the feelings you are experiencing are completely normal and natural. Honestly, it should not be this difficult. He is significantly older and obviously should be the one to come speak with you, especially as you have already tried to engage in conversation with him. Please trust your gut on this, though as I believe our gut always reveals our truth.

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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
Okay, I will try to put it to bed and just keep ignoring him. He also feels a lot of women in our religion are interested in him. Not sure if that is true or just his imagination. If he ever does try to pursue me, what should I do?

It's very strange that many women are interested in him yet he cannot even say "hello" without freezing up. How do these woman truly know him? I imagine he's a bit of a mystery as he is so shy--perhaps this is the appeal.

I'm so sorry but cannot speak at the moment as I have to put my children to bed. Would you like to schedule something for tomorrow by chance?

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I would love to schedule a phone call with you tomorrow if you are interested. Please let me know.

Have I answered your question above? Is there anything else I can do to assist you further? I want to ensure you are pleased with my service. I also gently request you provide a star rating for me. Of course, we can continue to talk after the rating is provided.

Please take good care of yourself and feel free to contact me with any questions you may have.

Warm regards,

Therapist Leslie

Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 402
Experience: Owner and Psychotherapist at Self-Employed, Private Practice
Verified
Therapist Leslie and 87 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
I would like a phone call at either 7AM eastern time or after 4:30 PM eastern time tomorrow. Which would be best?
Customer reply replied 1 month ago
Also, how long can we talk?
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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
Could someone call me within the next hour then by chance?
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
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Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 402
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