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This new relationship matters to me. Tomorrow is 5th date,

Hi Jen, This new relationship matters...
Hi Jen,
This new relationship matters to me. Tomorrow is 5th date, where we cook together.
We have agreed to be exclusive yet no one has professed love. I knew from the beginning I wanted to date only him and I stopped dating others.
The following day he is going away to see his son for three days. On the previous date, I stopped the progression of intimacy because I told him I would rather take it slower than to rush and blow something I want to be meaningful and long lasting. He was very okay with that and respected me for it although it was a bit challenging on us both.
I think we both feel strongly and we've talked about it and of course a big part of me wants it to happen before he goes away.
Conflicted in a way, or should we just play it by ear in terms of how intimacy progresses?
Much thanks once again . tomorrow is date 5 and I'm so excited lol
Dee
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Answered in 2 minutes by:
10/22/2017
TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3,694
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Verified
Did you hear from him again this evening?
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I'm signing off for the evening but let me address your immediate concern and that is of course to play it by ear and take things as they come and if it feels right for both of you to be intimate then follow that. Only do what you are comfortable with and if you are not comfortable to be intimate yet then that is okay to. Just follow your gut, follow yourself in the moment and let it all unfold.
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I will check back in the morning to see your response.
TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3,694
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Verified
TherapistJen and 87 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
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Customer reply replied 2 months ago
sorry he texted me while in the hospital so it was all legit. He had a real emergency.
Yes I suppose its always about following my gut, which I did last time So this time should work its way out somehow.
Customer reply replied 2 months ago
I know you say only do what I am comfortable with although the first intimate get together in this way to me will not be totally comfortable because it will be a first time. Maybe that's just me if that makes any sense.

Perfect. As I thought that he was giving you the real deal. So now what we can work on is how the old fears creep up from the past and play out....your worry that he would be like all that you have experienced in the past. So now we are having new and good experiences deposited in the "bank" for you to rely on in those moments of fear.

First times can always be a bit uncomfy...that is normal. Let things take the course that feels right and be open with your feelings with him as that will help to have things feel more natural.

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Customer reply replied 2 months ago
I couldn't see that clearly and I do have a lot of fear. I can't believe you saw that or how blind I am

I am supposed to see it...this is what I do for a living, remember? :-) Imagine I didn't see it. I am glad you are open to my thoughts. This will all be so helpful for you moving forward.

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Customer reply replied 2 months ago
I broke down in tears. Thank you so much. I'm scared. This helps. No wonder he was questioning me being relationship ready. He is coming over later and im scared
Customer reply replied 2 months ago
I was too busy looking for land mines
Customer reply replied 2 months ago
Scared of getting hurt and just feeling it's inevitable before it ends.
Customer reply replied 2 months ago
All I can say is thank you
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TherapistJen
TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
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