Relationship

Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

This answer was rated:

To, I do have additional questions. I have started a very…

To Jen, I do have...
To Jen, I do have additional questions. I have started a very loving and close rapport with a man that tells me he is in love with me and we have not met yet. All conversations have been online. We hit it off and we have a strong connection, I might even say falling in love. He just time off from work and he said he will visit me so we can find out if we are compatible. He also said he can spend 4 months with me so if we do have love he wants to start a life with me. He also said if we do have a connection he will put in for retirement from his job so we can start a new life together. How do I believe him, is this really possible, should I believe someone who we only met on line to date. He also asked me something that makes me concerned, since he is out of country he will need to fly back to the states. He asked me to lend him money for this and he said his money is tied up now but he would pay me back in 3 days. This to me is like a red flag and it makes me very nervous. Is he a man if his word? And again do I go for it because I am falling in love with him too?If this is real, then we really have something special. Do I take a chance for lasting love?
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Answered in 42 minutes by:
10/22/2017
TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3,823
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Verified

I do see many red flags...you have never met, yet he says he is falling in love...love develops in a mutual and deep face to face connection. True and deep long lasting love cannot be decided by an online experience. and he is asking for money? This is a big red flag and I could not in good faith say that is a good thing for you to do. I know you are feeling for him, but my honest view is that this is not a good thing.

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 8 months ago
Thanks Jen, my gut does say don't give him any money. It made me mad when he asked and it just about negated anything he said loving to me. I just can't believe anything he says now. In my mind he just ruined everything. I lost respect for him because he asked for money. Why are men so low lifes? I guess if he really loves me then he will use his own money and find away to get here. He keeps saying he wants to start a life with me. And that I am the only one for him? Is all of this just a lie?

I don't know whether it's a lie...he may believe he feels that but I am saying how does one feel that without spending time with one another....online and in person are two very different things.

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 8 months ago
He said his reason to come here and spend time with me a 4 month time to get to know each other, then he said he would retire from his job to be with me and start a life together. Do you think it is best just to say to him I want to get together too the see where this goes. The only thing is that he asked for money. So if I put it back in his court and tell him I can't give him money, he will have to decide if he wants me that much. I take the chance of him walking away, then I guess I will know he isn't the man of character that I want. Am I right to feel this way!

I think if he would like to travel to see you then he pays. To ask for money and say he will pay you back in 3 days sounds fishy. If he can pay you back in 3 days then he can wait 3 days and buy his own ticket.

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 8 months ago
I guess I will stick to my guns, this money issue really bothers me. I guess if he walks away then I will know the money is more important to him. His reason to me is that his money is out of the country where he is working for the government (in the Middle East) but he said he can't get access to it because it is in the Middle East and there is fighting there and he can't get the money now. Should I believe this?

I can't tell you what to believe...I can only say that it raises red flags...if he can't get access but can pay you back in 3 days, then he can get access. Buyer beware!

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 8 months ago
Jen, thanks for reinforcing this. It makes me very uncomfortable, this money thing. Thank you for your advice. I'll tell him I can't give him money. So he takes the chance of losing me.
Have a good night.

Trust that gut!!! Sleep easy and keep me posted.

Thanks in advance for the positive rating.

TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3,823
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Verified
TherapistJen and 87 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Was this answer helpful?

How JustAnswer works

step-image
Describe your issueThe assistant will guide you
step-image
Chat 1:1 with a counselorLicensed Experts are available 24/7
step-image
100% satisfaction guaranteeGet all the answers you need
Ask TherapistJen Your Own Question
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3,823
3,823 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker

TherapistJen is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

TherapistMaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn

Counselor

1,720 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues

Ms Chase

Ms Chase

Life Coach

853 satisfied customers

Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Psychotherapist

468 satisfied customers

Specializing in relationship/family counseling

Dr. Norman Brown

Dr. Norman Brown

Marriage Therapist

427 satisfied customers

Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

366 satisfied customers

Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.

Suzanne

Suzanne

Therapist, LCSW

338 satisfied customers

Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

DrJackiePhD

DrJackiePhD

Doctor

338 satisfied customers

I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.

< Previous | Next >

Related Relationship Questions
Here is my question... met this girl I really like about a 2
hi. so here is my question... met this girl I really like about a 2 months ago . it happened that my birthday was recently so he got me as present a trip to san francisco … read more
DrJackiePhD
DrJackiePhD
Doctor
Doctoral Degree
338 satisfied customers
Will my marriage last and will be happy again or stay
Will my marriage last and will be happy again or stay roommates for our son? … read more
Ashleigh
Ashleigh
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
20 satisfied customers
I just finished my sophomore year of college. i took a class
hi! i just finished my sophomore year of college. i took a class in my first semester of this past year in which i became friends with a senior boy. he would sit with me everyday, asked for my number,… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
LCSW, CPC
3,823 satisfied customers
Been dating my girlfriend for about 8 months now, but this
Been dating my girlfriend for about 8 months now, but this month has been rough, she found out some things and I found out some things.. but last night she found out this girl messaged me, thanking me… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
LCSW, CPC
3,823 satisfied customers
I have another question. Why does he always read my messages
I have another question. Why does he always read my messages by takes hours or even a day to reply? Is it a sign of lack of interest?He will take hours or even a day to reply even though he will read … read more
Rafael-E-Therapist
Rafael-E-Therapist
Director / Psychotherapist
Master\u0027s Degree
432 satisfied customers
I am dating this guy. I really like him. He's handsome,
I am dating this guy. I really like him. He's handsome, sweet, and he has a life of his own. We've been on a few dates and known each other for about a month (texted 2 weeks previous). He's very atten… read more
Ashleigh
Ashleigh
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
20 satisfied customers
I have a relationship issue that I could use some help with.
I have a relationship issue that I could use some help with … read more
Rafael-E-Therapist
Rafael-E-Therapist
Director / Psychotherapist
Master\u0027s Degree
432 satisfied customers
That's s is a mental health question. My daughter is an
That's s is a mental health question. My daughter is an unusual case. I have never met anyone like her. She seemed to develop her behavior over the years after high school. Went to college, worked as … read more
Rafael-E-Therapist
Rafael-E-Therapist
Director / Psychotherapist
Master\u0027s Degree
432 satisfied customers
I have a question about women sending me emojis in text
I have a question about women sending me emojis in text messages … read more
Dr.G.
Dr.G.
Counseling Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
449 satisfied customers
This is a very post so please bare with me. I am a 24 year
Hi. This is a very long post so please bare with me. I am a 24 year old married female and I have been dealing with something I believe is HOCD. It started with me helping a girl out at my work place … read more
S. August Abbott
S. August Abbott
Etiquette consultant
Doctoral Degree
260 satisfied customers
I told him I am sorry to disappoint -- that we concluded I
Hi Jen, I told him I am sorry to disappoint -- that we concluded I should take care of that other relationship before starting a new one, and that he will not come over tonight. He said he was not dis… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
LCSW, CPC
3,823 satisfied customers
I have been in a lesbian relationship for over a year. From
I have been in a lesbian relationship for over a year. From the beginning she was sometimes explosive and mean but eventually that turned into violence. At first she would feel terrible after physical… read more
CounselorJules
CounselorJules
Licensed Professional Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
57 satisfied customers
Can we continue our conversation or M I being charged for a
Hi Jackie can we continue our conversation or M I being charged for a new question at this point ? I thought I read that we can talk as much as needed on the subject ? Thanks for your last reply Ok so… read more
DrJackiePhD
DrJackiePhD
Doctor
Doctoral Degree
338 satisfied customers
Communication died down shortly after I told him although he
Hi Jen, Communication died down shortly after I told him although he was understanding. He didn't text me back yet. I hate this :( Just wanted to tell you Dee… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
LCSW, CPC
3,823 satisfied customers
I should not have...but texted "Happy Fathers Day" to him
HI Jen, I should not have...but texted "Happy Fathers Day" to him this morning, the new prospective second date. No reply. I am letting this one GO. Better to know now, than later. I still have to put… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
LCSW, CPC
3,823 satisfied customers
I have this friend. She's a very good friend and last year I
ok. I have this friend. She's a very good friend and last year I did a ver y bad thing to her. She was crushing on this guy. She involved me in everything they did. I was conferenced in on texts, call… read more
Ashleigh
Ashleigh
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
20 satisfied customers
I went on a first date with a guy I like a lot. I want to go
Hi Jen, I went on a first date with a guy I like a lot. I want to go out with him again. He wanted to see me tonight. I told him I didn't officially break it off with the long term guy although I told… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
LCSW, CPC
3,823 satisfied customers
I was wondering if I can get your opinion on something. My
Hi Jen, I was wondering if I can get your opinion on something. My friend in New York was telling me that she thought that this new guy's asking me about when we were last intimate (with the long term… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
LCSW, CPC
3,823 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x