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Second opinion] I married my bf for 5yrs September of last

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year. We were co-workers/friends before...
second opinion] I married my bf for 5yrs September of last year. We were co-workers/friends before we started dating. I am still talking and hanging out and being intinate with my ex. He knows i am married. I know in my heart we're supposed to be together but have come to terms that cant be. He is also aware. We tried to stay away from each other a few times. The longest was for 2mos. He keeps coming back and i keep accepting. I have no control when it comes to him. Idk how to move on from him i want to be 100% dedicated to my husband. How do i stay away?
Submitted: 1 month ago.Category: Relationship
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Answered in 1 hour by:
10/11/2017
Counselor: TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC replied 1 month ago
TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3,569
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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I can hear the pain and longing. You are drawn to this ex for some reason...the chemistry the emotional freedom with no strings so it works for you. Don't beat yourself up, but rather figure out what you truly want...and if what you truly want is your husband then resisting will be easier. I think you haven't resisted because things still feel unclear for you. Take the time to gain clarity and then things will feel easier. If it is your ex you want to be in the long run then that will become clear as well.

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Counselor: TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC replied 1 month ago

I await your thoughts.

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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
I did see myself ending up with my ex and even having children with him. At some point he was my future but i dont trust him nor believe anything he say and do. He put me through so much that i even thought i was going crazy. Its all about the sex. We have amazing sex all the time. All the time. But i dont wanna be with him.
Counselor: TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC replied 1 month ago
It sounds like you are clear...focus in your marriage and set a boundary with the ex and stick to it. You can't give fully to your marriage if you are half in it.
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Counselor: TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC replied 1 month ago
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